Question for all you women...

I was reading the messages posted here, and two phrases stuck in my mind as rather disturbing. One was 'he asked for sex and I let him do as he wish' and the other was, 'I never said no to sex'.


Do you all think that sex is something the guy wants to do? Are there no women out their in charge of their sexuality? Is anyone showing men what they want them to do? Where to put their hands, which angle to point their 'members' during intercourse? Or do you all lie back and look at the ceiling until he's finished?


Maybe it's just me, but I feel that sex should be an act where both people instigate and enjoy pleasure together. It's about being intimate and exploring each other's bodies, finding out what feels good and what makes your loved one go 'oooooh'.


What also disturbed me while on my friend's hen night (batchelorette party) was that my friends fiance, who was in a strip bar with one of the other girl's husband) took five phone calls to come pick her up. She was too drunk and needed help to go home, but it took him almost 45 minutes to come help his future wife home - and he was only on the other side of the street! I called my boyfriend, who was also out with his friends, and it took him five minutes to come help me home.


What happened to feminism? What happened to...I don't mean being in charge of your men, but what happened to mutual respect and mutual understanding? What happened to taking charge of your sexuality?


Can anyone help to enlighten me?

I love having sex and I don't think men benefit more when we do it EXCEPT** that he gets to finish and I don't. You may say a gentleman should always let the lady finishes first but come on how many of you really finishes every time you do it? Those are the days when I think he benefits more, and I wish it could be as easy for me.


I don't believe Asian guys are the only guys who prefer virtuous women..actually if your bf is taking you seriously he would feel a little sour knowing that you have picked up before in the bar..it's normal me thinks.

come on pumpman, if you are a regular on xpat you should know 'keeping women' is not such a huge problem here! lol..


i appreciate men who 'insist' on letting me finish first, to be honest sometimes i don't even care SO much if the partner finishes at all because if he is a regular partner I am sure the frequency of him finishing is higher than me! 'he asked for sex and I let him do as he wish' on one hand seems sexy as the guy can take the lead and do whatever he wants but on the other hand is really boring.

It was just that ''he asked for sex and I let him do as he wish' makes me think of this lifeless woman just lying there while he does his thing. What she should have said was, 'he asked for sex and it was fantastic' or something similar. It just worries me no end that these women are lying back and thinking of their country.


I completely agree that with a regular partner, the ration of me:him being satisfied is definately unbalanced (you can PM me pumpman) but it's still fun! There's kissing and touching and the rest. It's nice! It feels good! "And I let him" doesn't really come into it!


However, multiple partners definately want to help you finish your dinner more than a regular partner. But I think that's either because they want to be asked back to do it again, or they don't want you to give a bad report to your friends the next day.. or later that day.. hehe.

Strawberry Shortcake ( that name definitely rings a bell!)


I agree with Pupalicious's comments. A woman who is in charge of her sexuality & is also an active participant in the sexual act gets my thumbs up! I think in the case of a regular partner, it is the responsibility of both people to communicate & ensure that the act is enjoyable for all and if it's not for her, then she should point it out to him asap.