Posted by
Imma Star
17 yrs ago
So I dated this guy, Jason for about a year, then broke up half a year ago. We've been meeting up less than once/month after the break up for dinner but nothing ever happened. He asked me out for a day out last week so on Sat, we spent all afternoon and night together, and we were both flirting with each other and he even took me to this quiet park where we just laid on the grass and reminisced. After dinner, he had to leave (for work) but i felt the evening was ending prematurely. So i texted him later asking if we could meet up. He replied saying, sure come on over and then after talking a bit, we ended up sleeping together. AFter the deed, he admitted that he wanted to kiss me at the park but didn't know if it was appropriate to kiss an ex. We also established taht we are currently both single.
I haven't heard from him since and didn't expect to, and I'm fine with what happened overall. But then his good friend (whom he also works with), Simon, sent a mass email yesterday about his housewarming party. I never hang out with Simon and only know him through Jason. Simon's really sweet so surely he would've asked Jason if it was ok if his ex came, right? Bottom line is, should I go? Or would I be playing with fire? I do miss him, but feel I could never trust him.
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It ultimately depends on u. If u can see yourself having a renewed relationship with Jason, why not? Or if u are able to treat him just as a friend after the deed (who r we kidding??), go ahead.
Otherwise, it might be best to treat this whole thing as just another friend's housewarming party. Go there with an open mind, u may just meet another nice guy who can sweep u off yr feet!
Good luck
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mayo
17 yrs ago
If I were you I would reconsider whether supplying names (unless they are fictious) is appropriate.
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I'd say - go with free spirit .. did u go ?
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I didn't go because as fate would have it, I bumped into my ex at a party Friday night. For some reason the first instinct upon sighting him was to flee and hide. Perhaps I wasn't ready to see him. But anyway, I figured it could actually be a good thing because I was meaning to speak to him about last week's incident anyway so I approached him, we started talking (but managed to skirt the whole 'last week' topic), he made a move, we started making out and we ended up back at his apartment - under his sheets. I even stayed the night and ended up having brunch with him the next morning too.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it too. I suppose I needed affirmation from his part to know that the previous week's incident wasn't just a one-off thing. But now I feel like one of the many girls on his roster of girls to screw when he's lonely, which isn't exactly something to shout from the rooftop about. At the same time, I'm comforted that he came to the party alone and not with some other girl. I don't want to be fretting over the whole 'to be with him' or 'not to be with him' thing, but yet I find myself doing that. Thing is, I have the best time when I'm with him, not just in bed, but out of as well. Of course there's a part of me that wants him back, but I can never trust him (which his why we broke up in the first place) so honestly, can someone just tell me whether I'm just asking for trouble? And that I should just walk away from this whole mess? What about living in the moment and seizing the day though?
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Why don't you ask him what he wants?
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Fair point - but it is also about what he wants - if he doesn't want commitment, then at least you know where you stand... ask him up front and then you can decide what (if anything) you are getting into..
but do remember to really listen to what he says and not then try and interpret it in a way that suits you... ie if he says he's not ready to be serious with anyone that's what he means - he won't change his mind just because you're in the picture
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