I'm a single woman in my mid-thirties and considering moving to Hong Kong. Is dating there really as hard for western women as I hear? Harder than other major cities (NYC, London?) Thanks.
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I 'm good looking, well educated, well mannered, well travelled, have a decent job. But I have no luck in HK, dating no matter westerners or Chinese men. They all only have sex in their eyes. It's like a battle with men. They always want to get into your panty. YOu have to try not letting them so early, otherwise you lost them after they got what they wanted. They wont' care whether you are good or not, as long as you can provide sex. No pretty or ugly, good or bad girls in men's eyes - only can or cannot provide sex. Men of any age, any race, any colours just the same
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I know there are decent men who are really looking for a relationship. But they are very rare in the market. 90% are just for fun. That's why the challenge is not to find a date, but rather to find a decent one ready for a *relationship*
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I'm not looking into rich guys, or good profession or the expat community (though I did date expats before). But men are just hopeless and disappointing no matter they are rich or not, handsome or not.
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Someone even made many sweet words, promises and commitment, and suddenly gone into air after a few times in bed. I really couldn't believe men could be that cruel and ruthless. Since they forgot the relationship built up and could go so easily. Once you were adored and suddenly the next day the man go without turning their head back. This is the most heartbreaking and heartaching part in life that you have to take.
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I'm just looking for someone with good chemistry and good feel, can communicate, even don't mind he 's less educated (a lot) than me, earn less, etc. Am I asking too much that I don't deserve? Why I still get this?
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Although I don't live in Hong Kong, my fiance does. He's a nice guy from Canada who's been over there for about 6 years now. He did the typical dating from the local girl pool and was completely unimpressed with the gorgeous little 'love you long time" girls who look great but were conversationally empty. He tried to date other expats but had little success in that area. The interesting thing is that his office is filled with single guys, American and Canadian. They're all well paid, young ,reasonable nice looking with sweet personalities and definately not players. But, they're all techno-geeks. Brilliant in their fields but very shy with women. These are the guys that all the women don't see because they're not hanging out in Lan Kwai Fung, they're involved in activities that don't revolve around the bar scene, partying and so on. My point is that there are lots of guys in HK, just like there are back home that would love to meet a great girl, but you will have to seek them out in their own territories. These guys are also looking for real relationships with real women. Good luck to you and with a little searching, I'm sure you'll find a great guy over there. I know I did.
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But I never dated any guys from LKF or bars, although I sometimes went there to catchup with friends. Also I'm dating local guys (though I did date expats once or twice). And I don't think I'm a boring person, lack of conversations.
HK has many single guys, but most are not available (for a LTR) only available for sex. I may say they are SBU (SIngle but Unavailable).
Both local guys and western guys play hard in HK but just in different ways. For local guys, vast supply of teenager or early 20s from Great China, no matter for hookers or second wives or gfs or wives. For westerners, also great supply of local girls which outnumber the local man population plus the worsened situation of large supplies of girls from China.
No hope in HK
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One of my single guy friend said to me, HK has so many single girls wanting a relationship. He no need to rush, can choose one by one. This speaks the situation.
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I don't think what you said applies to my situation. And I don't think I'm not a "realtionship material". I never paint picture of marriage life wiht my dates, never give any pressure of marriage. I enjoyed the good sex with those dates, but all gone with no reason. I really don't think I have anything done wrong. And don't make too much preassumptions.
A few guy friends, even they themselves were guys equally told me that they have advantages to play in the dating market. Even "8 Leung Kum" (an ugly comedian in local movies) will think themselves desirable....LOL this was said by the men themselve, not me. Even the guys admit the situation. You still need to argue around, are you really based in Hong KOng?
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As a man who has been to HKG three times, I just could not make up my mind witch woman to try and start a relationship with. Sure I could have played the field and had many girlfriends, but I just wanted one woman who would love me as much as life itself and I her.
There are so many beautiful women in HKG and mainland China.
I don't really want to make a mistake. So, I'm in no hurry.
Now that I'm back in Guangzhou, I had enough of China for a while. I'm looking at Thailand and Vietnam now. The Philippines is on the back burner.
HKG women are very nice, the problem is... I don't want to stay in Honga Konga. I sick of HKG, too. Too crowded and polluted. Rather on the expensive side as well.
I believe a woman should be a partner, but I don't need a woman trying to control me and watch every move I make. I think being single for men is best.
I like to think of a relationship with a woman like buying a new car, when it's worn out or problematic, get rid of it and go get another.
So, I'm on the fence whether to get involved for life or just have a girlfriend.
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Continued...
I like young ladies 20-35, but many times their maturity is lacking. The sexual relations are great, but like we say in USA...
The light are on but there is nobody home.
The elevator doesn't go to the top floor.
Your foot is hammered down on the throttle but the transmission is in neutral.
Air head or little head...
I just thought of another... The clock is working fine, but the minuted hand is missing. lol
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Sorry ladies but that should tell you why it's still a man's world.
I do recognize there are exceptions, but man is she hard to find!
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hey,little C ,I like your point of view so...much.I wish I can live the way and think the way like you did. I'm 28 (btw,I was born in 1979,that shoul be 28,right?)
when I tell my friend the alike opinion as u have ,they'll say I will change my attitude when I'm aging....which means,now I can be confidant and have fun maybe..but there r a lot of younger girl...and my chance can be slim..I dunt like those negative thoughts.but sometimes scared and dunt know how....
do you think attitude should have sth to do with age?thanks.
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hush
17 yrs ago
whoa...this is really scarry! Now I see I was right standing my ground, not having sex with the man until I am sure he is sincere in the relationship with me and showing it off well to me. The man who can make me feel trust and secure is the right one I will go ahead and have sex with.
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hush
17 yrs ago
well, I have found Mr. Right within my standards. Im just sharing another point of view on the topic.
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Hmm..... Good discusion !! Maybe I should lighten up and just laugh it off when my bf (soon to be ex bf) something insensitive to me.
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I have been in Hong Kong for 2 years now, I am happily married with 2 children. I met my husband in the states...marriage is a work in progress just like any relationship, you have to keep working on it. Dating in Hong Kong or any other city is probably the same, if you stay true to yourself and be honest then you will eventually find that man/woman you are looking for.
Sex...if you want to have sex, have it because you want to, not because someone has made you do it or you feel it is a way of keeping someone's interest, sex is something you should enjoy too...again be true to yourself. If it does or doesn't work out, you can always say I was true to myself and I don't regret anything I've done.
I was engaged twice before I met my husband...I am with him because he knows all my bad and good habits, my strengths and weaknesses and he knows me at my worst and at my best, and yes we fight like crazy, but I know I would rather fight with him than with someone else. We have been together for 10 years and married for 6, I look at him now and I am even more in love. And yes he is a very attractive, successful man...an expat mind you...makes 200k a month, comes home to me and his kids everyday (sometimes even puts them to bed)...yes you can find a decent man out there, be confident and never settle for less.
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