Shall I give him a second chance

Hi everyone, I seldom post my stories here, however I do like reading your comments and viewpoints to a lot of posts. Last week I had an arguement with my boyfriend on his loyalty, which I hope to get your opinions.


I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. We are so in love with each other that we are now even planning to marry. When I've been trusting him a lot and believing he would never cheat on me, last weekend I happened to see from his MSN record that how he flirted with a girl who got from somewhere his MSN ID and wanted to make friends with him. From the record it shows that at the beginning he just left the girl alone when the girl tried to flirt with him, i think, coz the girl didn't show her pic on the MSN window. Later on when the girl asked him for his email addr. for sending him her pic, he gave his comapny email addr. to the girl, and the girl sent him her pic. Afterwards they started to chat. The chat seemed neutual at the beginning, but when the girl started to ask for a date, the chat became very flirtatious. They even talked about when and where to meet. What's worst, when the girl said she could have sex with my boyfriend, my boyfriend even asked the girl to try threesome, and requested to see even the picture of another girl. At the end of the chat, when the girl started to strongly push my boyfriend to make the "sex" date on weekend, my boyfriend said he needed to check with me - I guess he needed to check if there will be any potential troubles with me. When the girl continued to push him hard to meet on weekend, saying otherwise she might lose her feeling to have sex with him, he insisted he needed to check with me. But the next day, he blocked the girl.


When I read the record, I was totally disappointed and upset. I never thought he would try to cheating on me. I confronted him, he explained he found that girl's behavior was totally unreasonal, and that's why he blocked her. He cried and said sorry that he was stupid to make a mistake and he doesn't wanna lose me... and he will never do this kind of stupid things anymore. Honestly, although at the end of the date he didn't physically cheat on me, I can't trust him as much as before, at least for a certain period, which I'm not sure how long it will last. People say "once a cheater, always a cheater", I really love him, but his behavior really hurt me, shall I give him another chance?


Is it the truth that all man, no matter how honest and loyal he looks like, can't resist temptation?

Yes, give him another chance cos he hasn't cheated on you. He has YOU in his mind that's why he hasn't gone through it with that girl. Take care :-)

Cheers :-)

Thank you all. These days I'm trying to get this issue out of my mind, but somehow that chat he made with the girl comes to my mind off and on. especially he asked the girl for threesome. Sometimes I assume he might have already gone further with the girl if the girl was not that annoying by pushing him hard to meet on weekend. :-(

I think you should dump him, and set the poor guy free.


He didn't do anything wrong, he was jus flirting. He blocked the girl, so you know his real feelings already. He didn't know you knew about it, and he blocked the girl.


Get over it, you're making a big deal over words typed on a screen. When she asked to meet he said no.


Please dump this man so that he can meet a girl who's not as neurotic as you.

What's the harm in flirting. Obviously no one wants to hear their other half talking about that, but it's just chatting on the internet, just words on a screen. If it was face to face, it'd be different, but it's just typed words.


I don't think he did anything wrong. He didn't meet up with her, he didn't agree to the threesome. I think he only brought up the 3some to shock the girl and make her go away.


Ultimately, he didn't meet up with her, he didn't shag her, he wasn't interested at all. Where's the harm in a bit of flirting?

Maybe I have a different idea of flirting. I encourage my boyfriend to flirt, not sexually, but I think that flirting builds confidence and strokes your ego. If it's innocent, I don't see anything worng with it. Especially if everyone knows there's a boyfriend or girlfriend waiting at home, so it's never going further than flirting.

Hi Luke, thanks for sharing your experience and opinions from man's point of view. You are right, he wasn't the one reject threesome, he's even the one who proposed threesome. And he never refused to meet, he wanted to meet as well, but just not on weekend. However, his blocking the girl at the end without knowing that I knew already their chat, was not coz he needed to chat with another girl, nor was he afraid that I would catch him when I'm around his notebook. This's what I'm sure! I do believe he blocked the girl was really coz he found the girl was too annoying and desperate. Probabaly he's afraid such kind of desperate girl will bring him lots of potential troubles in future. That's why I'm not sure if he has still kept planning with the girl where and when to meet if the girl would have behaved more normal.


I'm really not sure. What I said above are only what I guess. Even I have confronted him, and he has explained to me and cried, I'm still not not sure how true his explanation is. Maybe as Pupalicious said, I'm too neurotic!

Why was he crying while explaining it to you? Some thing aren't right! Maybe he's curious and want to try threesome. I think he has some issues within himself that he needs to sort out. Maybe he should go counselling. You should go for a holiday without him to clear your mind and at the same time leave him sort out his feelings. Good Luck :-)

Haha Luke, As also a man, You suggest me to trap him! You are quite honest in some way! ^^ Actually I have thought about that and discussed it with 2 of my another male friends, but both of them warned me not to do that coz, for them, if they know their girlfriends trap them in any way, they will immediately end the relationship!


I just read your reply to another post. and you said you have been a very loyal man to your woman and never cheated for more than 5 years until you arrived in HK for 7 months. Was it really so much temptation in Hk that you just couldn't resist that, or it was because there's problem in your relationship before you started to cheat? BTW, my boyfriend is also living in HK, but seems like he doesn't like to go to pubs or LKF, coz he goes directly home after work every day, and we chat on phone every night.