What would you think?

Hi all. BF of six months - getting along well, or at least I thought so... He spent the night at my place a couple of weeks ago. When we woke, and got going with the morning, was tidying up and came across (on my desk, where he empties his pockets) a receipt for a reasonable amount at a fancy bar on a Thurs night. Nothing unusual there, but he had told me (rather convincingly) that he couldnt see me (I had late afternoon free) cos he had to work back late. When I asked him "Didnt you say you worked back late last night?", he said "yes", again convincingly, and then I asked him about the receipt. He then fessed up and told me he had met up with a friend (female) and he was concerned about my reaction (made it out as though I would be the one with the problem). Funnily enough, he often catches up with female colleagues or friends and tells me. He didnt this time. Then he blurted out stuff like "I didnt know where we were at" and "I needed another woman's perspective" (on life and the universe, and of course, work stuff). Then he tells me that that was a silly thing to say and he didnt quite know what he meant by that. Now, I would have been none the wiser and still wouldnt have been if I had not have come across the receipt.


To give you a little history, I have NO history of any displays of jealously or tight reigns where he is "not allowed" to do stuff. I am very trusting, very open and loving and I just dont get it. He says neither does he. He says it's just a poor judgement thing and that he is sorry, etc. The trouble is that now I dont trust him. It's not that he didnt tell me - he lied twice about it. Am I making too much of it? Oh, by the way, this is a relationship where we have both agreed that it is permanent (I am nearly 40 and he is 45). Any post appreciated. Thanks.

my 2 cents,

a) there's something going on with this lady friend.

b) deep down he is not ready to settle down but he thought enjoying being with you (just guessing, this is you speaking here) is the good enough reason to convenience himself to settle down. so when things getting too comfortable he freak out, the little voice telling him he is not ready but he didn't want to lose you either. He might telling you the truth and it was just an usual gathering as always or he was simply looking for advice.


as you both agreed it is permanent, give him some time to think about it than sit down for a talk. don't push it and do understand no matter how old you are. If deep down you are not ready there' nothing you can do. Take it easy and listen to your heart. Good luck

Hello wonderfulday and Luke. Thank you most sincerely for your replies. Luke, you were spot on. I guess I wanted to hear a fellow's take on things. Essentially, I cant trust him now (this was supposed to be permanent) so he has done his dash as it were. I started to not tell him things (little things, like conversations with girlfriends, etc.) and I tell my ex husband more than I tell him so that says it all, doesn't it? I ended it for the second time today (the first was after four months). For different reasons then. Nah, he just isnt worth it. By the way Luke, you have mail. Pls check your in box. Cheers and thanks again.

I wholeheartly agree with Luke. He is right on the spot.