"a woman who's financially secure"

How acceptable is it for a man to write this in an ad or in a reply to an ad that doesn't mention money at all?


If women write this sort of thing, they'd associated with gold-diggers fairly quickly.


Is it out of safety that expat men in Asia do this??

You will look a bit of a pleb IMHO


You will also send out the wrong signals to financially secure women.


You can look at the people who contact you and get to know them first. And judge how secure they are.


Also rember that people bend the truth, and some are even out and out liers.

I dont think its totally unacceptable for a guy, in ASIA, to post that on his ad. I think its the most polite way of saying "If you are a woman, jobless or earning close to squat, kindly do not reply to my ad as I dont want to be footing your bills and debt".


Is there anything wrong in saying that?


For a woman, globally, to look for a man who is financially secure, I would assume they mean the same "no jobless fops need reply" or "if you are saddled with debt, look elsewhere".


Of course, if you think, merm, that it means "I am a gold digger" then maybe your life experience has had you fighting that stereotype, which is common in Asia. Or, you have ended up with a golddigging fop of an ex bf who makes you feel indignant everytime you come across something that may even remotely refer to women (because you dont want to just say its your negative reverse-life experience) as gold diggers.


I wouldnt read too much into it. I have posted "financially secure" on my ads...just so I could weed out the 19 year olds who work in KFC. Who cares if you look like a plebe, the point of a personals ad is to find someone who personally appeals to you and you to them. If you find the wording of his ad distasteful, dont reply.


Not everyone is born to write...just bare that in mind. At least he knows what he wants and isnt faffing about with giving false hope and then ignoring girls who still live with their mothers and are jobless as....

I think I know the ad to which you are referring. My interpretation, upon reading it, was "gold diggers need not apply", NOT that the person placing the ad is looking for money.

I agree with asiaxpat - "financially secure" means "no golddiggers, please". Only been in hk six months and have encountered far too many GD's who are more interested in my watch, car and income than my charm, wit and personality (if I had any, that is). (Just go to Beijing on a Saturday night) So, a woman who is "financially secure" might be a better proposition. If, of course, she isn't a GD anyway....That said, it isn't fair to suggest that women who are not "financially independent" are, per se, gold-diggers. Just need to sift out the GD's from the rest - rich or poor.

flashback, i think many know which ad that is but of course that is a joke and not a serious ad! I quite enjoy reading it from time to time.


FYI, it was a reply to my ad. It's disappointing money is such a big issue in hk. Those who claim to have some, which is always relative, try to impress you before they know anything about you or warn you you won't be getting any. Dating elsewhere was so much more fun.


mango, a hk born english girl then, there are some of them.

This question about placing monetary restrictions in a personal ad is really perplexing. I am recently divorced and thinking about using the internet as a way to meet people. The part I keep waivering on is the money issue.


I grew up in the U.S. in absolute poverty. My family sometimes couldn't afford food. I started working at 13 and have never stopped. I worked three jobs at times, got good grades and managed to slowly put myself through university and graduate school. Not to pat myself on the back, but now I am wealthy to the point it makes me laugh in disbelief. (And NOT because of my past husband.)


I would like to date an equal, not necessarily from the monetary sense, but someone who knows what it is like to work their fingers to the bone and succeed. But if I tell my story, I will be inundated with G-diggers. (Or worse yet, trust fund babies who have never worked a day in their lives!!) And frankly, the guys I've dated who don't have money, but may be successful in other ways, have been extremely intimidated once they learned about my wealth. This in spite of the fact that I don't care about how big their bank accounts are!


The rational thing to say would be I'm looking for a successful, self-made man. But if I say that, I sound like a G-digger. I tell you, it's a tough one. So far, no ad from me.

Merm,

Rather than writing "financially secure" in your ads might be misconstrued by some women as being an ad from a boy toy gigolo-type (or even a total tight wad), why not just say something like "financially stable" or "has her act together financially" or even "seeking woman who has her life, relationships and finances in order" etc. which is probably much more to your intended point.

No, nothing wrong.....have a look at one of my previous posts. Lots of insights. all the best. Wendy


http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/marriage-relationships/threads/112085/she-as-it-all.-he-has,-erm....very-little.../