Hello to everyone. This is my first time to posting here. I wish it was not an embarasing question!
Here is my problem. I have been dating a great guy for several months. Everything is very good. Great companion, makes me laugh, makes me feel safe, and I think he is very attractive. And things are good in the bedroom too! But the problem also comes there. I like oral very much, but he does not like to do it at all. I have tried hinting, but no good! So now I wonder -- maybe it is a culture thing? He is from India (I'm European). Maybe in India it is not so common for a man? I would like to hear any opinion or advice so I can persuade him!
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Actually it's not such a delicate question at all, especially in this day and age. In the western world oral sex has become an acceptable norm but that's not the case the world over, and especially in Asia. Upbringings really do not include talk about sex and oral sex is still seen as a dirty thing by many.
I'm not sure how you can persuade him, although if you're both comfortable to sit down and talk about sex then that's certainly a place to start. Maybe buy some books, simple ones like the 100 ways to bring a man / woman to orgasm. He may have a fear that it's dirty, so you may need to deal with that and then maybe he will worry that he does not know how to do it so you'll need to be tactful!
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Summershere -- can assure you it's not a culture/Indian thing... sheesh!
A suggestion: maybe you could get him to watch an adult movie with you (there shouldn't be much persuasion required:); one that features a man performing oral sex on a woman. Men tend to be highly visual: once he sees how much pleasure women can derive from the act (and am assuming that the movie's actors don't completely suck. no wait, let me rephrase that...!) it could do more to interest him in the idea than words/hints may achieve.
good luck!
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It can be cultural, many people have different upbringings. Even if it does not apply to a nation as a whole.
Could be a fear of infection (not talking STDs here). I know chinese girls who don't want oral or manual stimulation due to a risk of infection. In this weather bacteria can breed very fast.
I have a female friend who left her fiance because he thought Oral was dirty (she wanted to give), he was English, granted it was 30 years ago, but the point remains. It can be to do with our upbringing.
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TB: agree completely that attitudes towards sex are inevitably shaped to a large extent by upbringing; but I'd suggest that individual differences in upbringing transcend cultural differences... especially for something like oral sex, which is deemed erotic in most cultures, at least nowadays. The OP seemed to be wondering whether there was a national norm at work here, hence my response.
DB: showering together is another great idea -- "washing and sudding" even sound appropriately suggestive:)
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Want to say thank you to you kind peple for your advice -- I like the idea of a movie! I will try that out and see if I am lucky ;)
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if your bf considers it unhygienic, ask him to clean his teeth first!!
and maybe suggest if he wants to recieve, he should also give.
finally, maybe u could explain to him what exquisite pleasure a woman derives from oral.
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Shave shave shave...do I need to say more?
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I think it is important to be clear with your partner about what you like when you have sex. I think women have a fear to truly tell their partners what they want explicitly. But how will you ever get what you want? Hinting is not the way to go. Why not have a conversation about your fantasies? Tell him how much you want oral. He might feel like he isn't very good at giving oral, and so avoids it. All of these possible situations can be resolved by sitting him down and having a chat. Good Luck!
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Can i give you my number!!??
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