Posted by
Fina
16 yrs ago
This is the story. Meeting the guy in nice way. Being introduced in friends gathering. At the end, we're talking to each other and had a good chat. At the end of gathering he asked me to go to his place. Classic. Thinking that he seems nice and I knew him from a friend, I silently agreed and thought that stopping by for a while would be ok as that may be a good way to continue to get to know each other better.
But I knew that I'd prefer not to do ONS. At his place, he started to make a move and we made out. But no, I told him nicely that I didn't want to do it. He seemed fine with it and had a good time. I went home. He got my phone number. But, this is the second day already and no phone call or sms from him.
Maybe it's still to early, but I am just afraid that this is the motive that because I don't want to go further and they won't call me the next day? Or, it's just because the effect of alcohol he asked me to go home with him (but no, he's not drunk)? Or they are only looking for ONS? Should I just forget him? Or should I contact him after some days?
What happens to the other classic courting? Meeting a new person, feel clicked, give her a cal, asking her to go out? But instead, meeting a girl, asking her to go home with him, making out, and then..., no news?
While I knew that some people were become an items after having sex the first time they met, but I am still hoping to start a relationship in the "right" order.
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It was the "wrong order" to go to his place a few hours after you met him!
I guess if the guy is also looking for a proper relationship he has taken that as a bad signal!
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Fina
16 yrs ago
Ok, then why he asked me to go home with him? Meaning he is not looking for proper relationship? Funny, as we had a good and nice chat about relationship.
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Fina, grow up, you don't agree to go home with someone after only knowing them for a few hours and claim innocence saying how you thought "stopping by for a while would be ok as that may be a good way to continue to get to know each other better".
You can't blame the guy for thinking something might happen. Maybe when you turned him down, he thought you were leading him on/teasing him (esp after you made out with him) and when he thought about it, decided not to bother.
"Funny, as we had a good and nice chat about relationship." People say all sorts of things when they want something (in this case, to get into your pants), what's funny is that you believed him.
Agree with everyone else on this post, if you wanted things to start "the old fashioned way" you should have declined his invitation and given him your number instead. Chill out next time and stop being such an eager beaver!!
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What happens to the other classic courting? Meeting a new person, feel clicked, give her a cal, asking her to go out? But instead, meeting a girl, asking her to go home with him, making out, and then..., no news?
ANS ~ What happened to the classic courting when a girl would expect to be taken out for a month before she actually agreed to come check out your crib?
Yes indeed, what happened to the good old days when a girl didnt just say "Sure, I will come over to your place despite only having met you" but instead simply gave you her number and waited a week for your call?
Ok, then why he asked me to go home with him? Meaning he is not looking for proper relationship? Funny, as we had a good and nice chat about relationship.
ANS ~ so he is thinking "Wait, so I asked her if she wants to come hang at my crib....and she came over, all eager...and then she left? What? Did I get the wrong idea? I thought she was up for the same fun I was...I mean which chick comes over to make out on the first meeting and does so in the hope of ensnaring "relationship" fodder on the pronto?"
Sorry to be so harsh on you, gf, but a reality check on your Reality-o-meter would tell you...your expectations and his expectations simply did not meet in the middle.
Was he a good kisser? Well, then just focus on the positive and look at it as "He was a great kisser and I feel proud of myself that (a) I got some "random play" and (b) I didnt go all out and do the ONS I didnt want to.
End of story, really. Why do all women hope that by kissing a frog that it is instantly earmarked to be a prince? Sometimes that is all you get, a kiss with a frog...lesson learned...maybe if you didnt like how this made you felt this time, dont do it next time!
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Fina, I know how you feel because I've been in your shoes.
Though I generally agree with other people's reply to your post, I think you need to figure out what's best for you; what your threshold is. Sleeping with guys on the first night you meet or first date is generally frowned upon, but it's possible for relationships to blossom from these experiences. Excluding yourself from these will limit yourself to finding a new beau. If you decide this isn't for you, that's fine too. You just need to be strong and insist on going home no matter what the voices in your head are saying.
Don't despair though - classic courting does exist. I've met a few good guys who still court like proper gentlemen, including my current bf. I've noticed over the years that birds of a feather really do flock together. So if you dress provocatively, you'll likely attract the pervy one night standers.
Bottom line is though that if a guy is really interested, he will call. If he doesn't, don't bother contacting him - unless you're in the mood for a ONS too.
Good luck!
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Agree with Imma "If a guy is really interested, he will call" regardless whether you made out on the first meeting or whether you did or didnt put out. If he isnt interested, he simply isnt.
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cym
16 yrs ago
goin home on the first date is a big no no..If the guy really liked you he wouldnt ask you to come home, sorry but thats the truth!! move on and be a lil hard to get it works in the long run my dear
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He invite you to go to his place after knowing each other few hours..... means he want sex or causel relationship, not in serious. Don't expect he will call you again, even he call, mean he just want a freind with benefit.
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tig
16 yrs ago
he was looking for a ONS
forget the Axxhole
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Ugh that Perv... of course he wont call back... ??? if ur lookin for sex... might as well.... BUT, ....."there is no rush in love"... he was definately rushing you... no "love" there.. only lust....
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S119
16 yrs ago
Women has always been very successful in making the most of their looks. Well these days men are catching up. We all like a little bit of attention from good looking people...but add a little bit of alcohol then BOOM. You said yes to everything except sex....ofcorse the guy is pissed off...next time if you like a guy set up a date first (not the type that involves power drinking and late nite) and see if he genuinely interested....maybe it'll help.
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watch "Swingers" with Vince Vaughn and you'll understand what most guys are thinking and their rituals behind not calling ;)
but it looks like the 72-hour rule has come & gone, right? you can forget about this guy.
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nom
16 yrs ago
so finally did he ever call back??
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He asked you back to his place which, since you just met, is the same as saying "would you like to sleep with me?". You agreed, but then turned him down once you got there. He respected that; end of story. He's not ana**hole for asking; you're just a bit naive for being unaware.
He probably did like you, but he's not looking for love and didn't want to feed you with false expectations by calling.
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