Posted by
sinead II
16 yrs ago
i've met this guy 2 yrs ago for a one night stand,i thought its only ONS,coz he doesnt live here,but since then evrytime he comes in hk,we meet up and had s**,evrytime is like that,little chat,s**,i go home or sometimes sleep where he stays,nxt day its like normal day,no word from him if his gone or whatever,well iam not expecting anything,coz we are just friends with benefits,the bad thing is my feelings for him is becoming deeper,and dont know what his feelings for me,maybe just like me in bed.in that 2 yrs,i didnt try to open my eyes,with other guy,its not that iam ugly,in fact got some admirers around ha ha.but didnt bother to entertain.iam just wondering why he still sees me,if the fact that he can meet up different girl,evrytime he comes here.thats why got a very little hope that one day,he will got feelings for me,or am i just wasting my time in him
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Well, I would say a bit differently : both of you are using eachother for sex. Not just him!!
It's just that women view sex differently when it happens over an extended period of time; they think there are feelings attached. Whereas men can treat sex and feelings differently.
You should know this! It is as simple as that!
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yeah,as simple as that,so its like if a man shagging a woman for a long time,will never have a feeling to that woman at all,its just purely sex.how coldhearted is that be
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wow never thought,that hookers are better than me.but your right iam just his easy lay in town,coz i let that happened,maybe i just need a wake up call from others to set my mind up.tnx guys and nemesis your words hit me through the heart
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wat if a guy still saying hi after ONS and next day flying back to his own country, does that just mean hes trying to be polite therefore feel less guilty??
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Mobs
16 yrs ago
Sinead II
In my humble opinion, if he was serious, or even mildly interested in getting together with you, he would have discussed the point already and/or arranged more serious (non-s**) time together - better yet meeting his friends/etc - and progressed the situation into a relationship. Nemesis states it (harshly) well.
I wish you best of luck in finding someone who is right for you, who really wants to be with you (not just for the s** - as a man I know that most of us can separate it from the emotion).
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maybe the problem is his too busy,if his here so the only time his got is at night time,but yeah he made his point,he says he doesnt force me for things i dont wanna do,so i didnt ask whats goin on with us,i just go on with the flow coz i really like him,and that feeling becomes deeper the more i see him.so maybe i just stop seeing him,so will not get hurt at the end or ask him if he will take me seriously or just for shag.but its like a bit nasty to ask like that,whats the nice way to ask he he
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nom
16 yrs ago
maybe you are too good in bed that's why.
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S119
16 yrs ago
Well I'm sure you're not only pit stop he has. If you're old enough to have S** then you should be able to do the math on it too. It's time to put your foot down and get back the lifestyle you desrve. Go girl!
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Maybe the truth of the matter is : Exactly what nemesis said! Not "what if he is too busy" yadda yadda yadda! *SMH*
Self respect!
He is "just not that into you"! I mean, 2 years of an easy lay without having to pay???
You give him an ultimatum and he will be forced to find an alternative easy lay! How much do you value your easy lay, despite having other options, as you so haughtily claim to be spurning! Get on with it and take some other options up, quit wasting any more time!
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Oh girl, if she's treating you like that, then the answer is NO! There is NO chance he'll ever be serious with you. YOu've to give self respect before anyone treats you seriously. Hope you find the right one for you.
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simple. since both of u enjoy having great sex together. keep him as a spare for your future uses even if u are attached or married, cos u never knew when he'll come in handy. never wrong to keep many spare tyres, it's just like ordering pizza when u crave for it. i've got some and am to some... the chain never breaks if u play by the rules.
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Do'nt mingle one night stand for a permanent relationship! It obviously sounds, that it's only a stopover for him. So, If you think ok, keep hm spare, as long as you don't mind....but certainly ONS is not worth a healthy long term relationship.
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blss
16 yrs ago
If you are old enough to have sex, then you should old enough to seperate an ONS and a real relationship. From what I am readind, the guy is not taking you seriously. And worse, you are not taking yourself seriously.
Go get someone that's right for you, don't waste more time.
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blss
16 yrs ago
If you are old enough to have sex, then you should be old enough to seperate an ONS and a real relationship. From what I am readind, the guy is not taking you seriously. And worse, you are not taking yourself seriously.
Go get someone that's right for you, don't waste more time.
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i think this is a mix between ONS and LDR. maybe first time you feel its okay to have it, but in the long term you will find its bad for you since seems no future for both of you. only meet few times a year or less. come on! its not a real relationship. and also already going for two years? wake up girl!!!!!!
other thing, you dont know if he's having another women there. its so frustrating only to think all the time if he has other gf.
we're women are more vulnarable and always dreaming abt true romances. im not surprised if your feeling's become deeper and deeper. its normal. but what if happen if he doenst want you anymore? its just LUST. never will go better than that. you and him also dont communicate when he's not in HK. its so obvious that he dont have intention to have real realtionship with you. so better jump out from this situation before you get hurt. you deserve better than this. dont waste your time. time flies and never come back.
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your absolutely right golfy68,i thought thats just for once,but iam wrong coz got hooked up with it,before i posted this,i thought there is a chance,but from your opinions/advice guys theres no reason to hope for something that will never happened.i dont say that i've wasted my time for that period of time,but now i dont wanna waste my time thinking of someone who doesnt think abt,and hoping for something that will never happened.anyway iam still young,so got all the time to meet and know nice guys around.tnx to all
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All previous posters could be right, but it's always possible he's feeling the same way, but thinks you like it this way, or thinks anything more is doomed, since he doesn't live in HK. Of all the things you wish he would do (communicate with you when he's not there, express more feelings for you than just friendship with sex), have you ever done them yourself? Would he have any reason to believe that you're not perfectly happy and contented with the situation as is?
The next time he's there, tell him how you feel and ask him if he feels the same way. If he says yes, then plan a way forward, a way to be together. If he says no, then you have to decide if you enjoy the brief times you have together enough to continue without expectation of more. There's no shame in it if you do want to, as long as you are fully aware of the scope of the relationship.
Otherwise, if you decide that you want more and this isn't satisfying enough, it's time to move on.
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Him - all he wants is s@x. Since he gets it without the commitments, then great for him.
Her - She wants more. She's not going to get it. Don't expect it. If that is not good enough, then cut him loose. Refuse to meet with him next time in town. Finally, it's not bad for a woman to want s@x only, despite what society wants you to believe.
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