Far or close? From who?

Gill2008, this in HK, nothing is very far. At least if you move to Hunghom your husband can get to work easy and you can take the Star Ferry to Central (which I used to do and is a very nice way to get to work!)


I live in Pokfulam and my Dad is in Happy Valley and I see him at least 3-4 times a week.


It may also be good to have some distance from your family, give you and hubby some 'alone time'. Family is never far away if you need them. Good luck with your flat-hunting.

You make a very good point. Did you explain this to your husband?


Perhaps make a compromise. You and hubby live away for now but when you decide to start a family, move closer to your folks so that they can help. You will def need more help when kids come along.


I have a 2 yr old and it really helps having my dad about!

Wow it seems like Hung Hom is some forlorn outpost in Inner Mongolia! I think one thing you are forgetting is that you are now married. You are starting your own life and own journey, but you seem to be a little immature for that. You seem to need to be mothered. Actually this is probably the wrong place for this discussion as most people here live far from their families.


My wife's family is here in HK but even with distance my father in law sees his grandaughter everyday. He'd never miss it. It seems as though your family would not visit you at all if you moved away, why is that?


Compromises, why is it only women? Well no it isn't. While my wife's family are close by (meaning HK) my family are thousands and thousands of miles away and that's also the case with several guys I know.

Gill2008,


Many people on this website are from other countries in which lifestyle is much different to yours.


For example, your family is not huge, you only have two married brothers with kids and that is certainly not a huge family.


Second, your perception of distance is that of a Hong Kong peerson - hell I can drive to another country (China) in 1 hr from Central.


Also, it is good for your husband for you to not live in your blood family's pockets - it can feel pretty claustraphobic for a guy like that.


Also, you'd grow up more rapidly by being a bit more independent,and you'd learn some wife/homemaker skills which are so lacking in HK. I recently asked 6 girls who worked for me if they'd ever sewn a button, and only one of them had,and a few are married. Also, your husband would feel more like he was married to you than your family,and guys prefer that no matter what. Otherwise, it'd feel like you have a girlfriend who just stays overnight.


Also, would your husband's convenience to get to work not outweigh convenience of visiting your parents? Where does his family live?

Most people on this site have family who live many thousands of miles away. When I lived in my home country I saw my parents several times a week. I have two children who were small at the time and they're my parents only grandchildren. We have always been a close family. Now, I see my parents once or twice a year, if I'm lucky ... We've survived, we're still close, we still love each other, and we'd still do anything for each other.


Hung Hom is a few minutes journey across the harbour. My part-time helper travels from Hung Hom to Pokfulam a few times a week and doesn't find it a problem.


You say you have such a huge family that it's not easy to travel to meet you ... surely they don't all have to travel together?? Can't they just visit on different days or weekends? You're a married woman now and your husband is your very own family. Quite honestly, I can understand your husband not being particulary understanding if you still wish to spend so much time with your mum, dad, brothers/wives, kids. Try spending more time with your husband ... alone ... just the two of you. And the time that you do spend with the rest of your family will be even more enjoyable and you'll probably find that your husband will become more accepting of the situation.


I do agree that many women have to make compromises. I gave up my life as I knew it to move to Hong Kong with my husband because of his career, leaving my home and family behind. And do you know what? I'd travel to the ends of the earth to be with my husband, because I know that my family will always be my family, and no matter how far away they are, they'll be there for me if I need them.

your brother is also a man, what's the problem if you tell him that you want to follow your husband ? doesnt he want his wife to back up his ideas ? You can tell your family that you really really appreciate their help to search for flat.


Your being overly attached to your family is not a good sign for your marriage. Just image if your husband also wants the same to be near to his elderly aged mom , what to do ? If you cant afford to live near your parents, then I dont see what choices you have ?


Grow up fast, you will need to handle a lot more problems than now. This problem is not really a "problem".....

Sweetie, if you're panicking at the thought of living a quick ferry ride from your family, think VERY wisely about a drastic move to Australia. If your husband alone is not enough for an initial network, I fear you'd be consumed by homesickness.


Life in Aus is wonderful, but very different to HK. Australians are far more independent, this would be a good influence if you could handle being so far away from your family. It is imperitive though, that when you relocate to a foreign country that you try to integrate into the world you're in. Your friends become your 'new support network', and your partner becomes the central axis of your world. (If he wasn't already!)

Job-wise, it depends on your qualifications, the type of work you are seeking, and the town you are living in. Australia is a VERY big place, where a lot of people don't think twice about commuting over an hour every day just to get to work.


Best wishes for your future, wherever it may be. You're in a period of change right now, embrace it. :)