Posted by
nixodian
16 yrs ago
the reason l ask is my China mainland girlfriend wants to marry me and l would like protection of my assets for at least a year, should an unthinkable divorce occur. l have read about unenforceable prenuptial agreements, is this true and how can they be enforced in Hongkong?
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Yep, pre-nups means nothing in HK. And no guarantee of assets in first year either. But many things you can do with your assets to protect them. Question is, if you feel you need to protect your assets then do not get married.
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if you are mature enough, you shouold not get marry when you have such a worry!!! And ask your heart, actually you don't love your girlfriend that much.
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thanks for replies, what i've read is discouraging, ie to hear prenuptials are unenforceable in HKG, l think its the same in England, but in Scotland, where l'm from (l'm Scottish Chinese)l read that it would mean something. anyone have any ideas? in the USA surely prenuptials are enforceable there. About marrying, yeah, l would b ok with that except she can be volatile, often breaking up our relationship (about half a dozen times in our one year relationship) then constantly calling me back same day, or just when l am about to leave the door telling me she was joking or sorry. She was about 1month pregnant before and because l wouldnt marry there and then (within a week) without my mother being present (who was in Canada at the time) she had an abortion. She now regrets it and l think another baby is on the way, whereby marriage is essential according to her. blackmail?
so is there anyway of protecting my assets?My mother's name is use for some of my properties in HKG. But l have a US brokerage account and UK bank accounts. my UK funds can be transfered into my mothers account. l know i sound so untrustworthy and know that she does love me, but l am just being careful
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Maybe transfer everything into my mother's name? l trust my mother 100% only have 1 problem though and will start a new thread regarding this other problem to keep this thread focused on this issue. thanks for oyur understanding
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not exactly sure on the age, thats why l said 'about 1month', i think it was month - 14weeks , or around this figure
have you experienced a divorce with a China mainland wife?
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Having been a divorce lawyer (albeit many years ago), and having seen some of the financial awards recently made to women in the UK I wonder why any man (or woman, for that matter) with money would ever marry.
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seriously are you kidding you are going to marry her!!
Run for your life!
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some people said that, she wanted certain security since I am the provider, the bread winner and some could argue that she wanted to know that I was absolutely and uncondititionally dedicated to her.
Saying all that, she could of waited just a week for my mother to come back who speaks putongha and read Chinese. I can't and don't want to enter something that I don't fully understand. But if we do marry in 09, rather than having an unenforceable prenuptial, how about if I transfer all my assets to my mother, who will put everything in her will to appoint me as inheritor? this should protect me for a good few decades, and by that time i probably won't worry anymore! would this be the case?
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I agree with the warnings above, and i certainly don't agree with forcing someone to do something they're not ready to do when it comes to marriage. The fact that people can divorce fairly easily these days often means they enter into marriage way too lightly.
You're obviously not ready for marriage, and this girl has a big blaring "caution" sign around her neck, that's 2 very good resons NOT to marry her. You should marry someone you can trust with your life.
If you loved her truly and completely, you wouldn't be asking yourself all this. In fact, I've just re-read your posts, you don't even SAY that you love her, not even an "i love her but". You just say that you'd "be ok with" marrying her, is that good enough?
She has tried to trap you into it (yes, it WAS blackmail, by the way), and your description of her "volatile" behaviour indicates a very selfish, immature person who will do anything to get what she wants.
Sorry to be so blunt, but can't you hear the warning bells? They're deafening me!!
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Forgot to add the reasons why l'd think she'd make a good wife. 1.) she has a fantastic family relationship caring so much for her parents, brother and sister (yes china is suppose to have a one child policy, but many china mainland ppl, in their 20s i know have sis or brothers) and family, it is the epitome of 'perfect' relations with family. l know she does care so much for me as well,
l have told her me plans to put all me assets in my mothers name for protection of myself, just like how she wants protection of herself in getting married to me before she has our baby, incase l do a runner on her and my baby ! as likely as me running to be president of usa, not likely , firstly im not american!
she was ok with that and happy to sign a prenup, (she dont know they are unenforceable in hkg) explained the reason was same as hers, for security, like driving a car and having insurance, no logical responsible person
takes a life time journey in a car without insurance, no matter how much he trusts the reliability of the car
is there any good lawyers that yourselves would recommend that can deal with this subject?
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The fact that she is so devoted to her family doesn't mean this devotion will extend to you. In fact, she could very well be out to find a sucker to pay for her dear family's expenses. So she plays yes-woman to all your conditions, and finds a way to get you to change your settings later.
How do you know she doesn't know prenups aren't enforceable in HK?
I'm not saying that's what she is, in the end you're the one who sleeps with her, but I still find your reasons for marrying very strange.
Shouldn't she be the most wonderful, beautiful, funny, loving, good and giving woman in the world, the one who's made you feel like no one else has, the one who has reached that one place inside of you that you didn't know existed (and I don't mean anything gross), and all that kind of romantic talk people who are in love talk??
You don't sound in love, you sound worried.
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You sound like you're trying to convince yourself you "should" marry her...except you don't sound very convincing. And how do you know she doesn't know pre-nups aren't enforceable in HK? Any google search will tell you that, or read this forum.
And she aborted your baby just because she couldn't wait a week for your mum to arrive??? If she actually had your baby, would she throw it out the window if you came home late or forgot an anniversary???
And I know you said you're American Chinese and I'm not sure how "Chinese" you are, in terms of upbringing etc, but as Zorglub said, the fact that she's devoted to her family may not be a good thing. She'd probably side with them, rather than you, in any dispute. She'll expect you to be "under their thumb" and give in to their every whim. Don't even think about saying no if any of them wanted to suddenly live with you full time, and pay nothing in return.
Don't get me wrong, some people can and do change (over a long period of time or after some life changing experience) but unless you see some of that change in terms of her volatile behaviour, not to mention the blackmailing, pre-nup or no, I wouldn't walk down that aisle.
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Thoughts spring to mind.
Just two cents worth
You are being emotionally blackmailed, whatever her other intentions are.
Anything can wait. Would she really have an abortion because she cannot get what she wants? If so beware.
Is the validity of the prenup determined by where you get married, or by where you start divorce proceedings.
And if you do think about divorce you need to strike frst and start proceedings in a country that favours you. If she starts them in HK/PRC first that is where the case stays (I think, but somebody will put you right on this)
If you are already thinking about divorce, you are not sure.
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There may be good reasons to marry her (surely most people posses some sort of quality that makes them a "good catch"?) but the fact that this is even crossing your mind should set the alarms bells ringing. You shouldn't be turning to an online forum for advise but looking in the mirror and wondering if you'll still be together in X years time.
As for giving everything to your mother, do take inheritance tax into account.
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