NO NEVER - usual reply from men re: having an affair

So what do women, time and time again, expect their men to reply? YES i did? Women sometimes asked the 'darndest' question. Are they naiive, gullible or plain stupid?

Yeah, but its not so much in what the answer is but how they answer it. When put on the spot perhaps the reaction could tell you what you need to know...

Nothing to do with being stupid, and everything to do with wanting to understand, and hating being left in limbo. Women are communicators and need to understand.

Example: most women would rather a man "officially" finished with them rather than not returning their calls, and most men are happy just hoping the woman will "get it"

Didnt mean to offend, its just that women tend to always cling on, always hoping that their suspicions are wrong. The fact remains that, from their instincts, they know infidelity had occurred, so posing "THE" question merely served the purpose of observing reactions. Then what?? 99% of men will naturally deny, even worst is when women knew they have been betrayed, yet live in severe denial. These women want to believe - so the NO NEVER replies are as good a lie as any.


Why would women want a man to state categorically - or as Zorgrub puts it "officially" finish with them??? Why give a man the authority to have the last say?? Ladies - if your man is NOT THAT INTO YOU - just shift your focus (obsessions) somewhere else and go get another man. Surely this world is a playground for women not just for men. What is good for the goose is good for the gander??

Ladies - take note of the tell tale signs when your man is no longer interested in you. The signs can be glaringly obvious but to you ladies - in severe denial - who want to live a miserable life till your men 'officially' finish with you - read on.


TEN SIGNS OF INFIDELITY by INVESTIGATOR LTD.


(Britain's Leading Relationship Investigation Specialists)


1. YOUR PARTNER IS LESS ATTENTIVE AND AFFECTIONATE TOWARDS YOU?


Remember those heady days where you couldn't keep your hands and eyes off each other?


Well, naturally over time, we do get used to being together and the intensity dies down - but you probably didn't expect it to suddenly fall COMPLETELY flat; now they are avoiding intimacy altogether.


Perhaps lately you're lucky if you get a quick hug or peck on the cheek from your partner let alone a compliment; they just seem cold and distant - and don't have any inclination to 'talk' anymore; when they're at home, all they do is sit in front of the TV, read the newspaper, work - anything OTHER than spend quality time with YOU. If this sounds familiar then you are probably asking yourself 'what went wrong'.


2. COMING HOME LATE MORE THAN USUAL?


Before now, your partner was happy to come home and see you so you could both catch up with the days news,

share some affection and generally spend some quality together.


But now you're finding it hard to remember what they look like. By the time they get home, half the evenings gone and there's hardly any time left for communication of any kind.


Because of this your relationship is probably becoming more tense and suspicions of infidelity may be running high.


3. BECOMING FREQUENTLY ANGRY WITH YOU AND LESS TOLERANT IN GENERAL?


Never a day passes when you don't seem to be arguing about something. Whatever you say or do, you just can't seem to 'put a foot right'.


Even any suggestion of 'talking' about the situation makes your partner's blood boil - he or she, just

doesn't want to accept there are problems in the relationship.


They never used to be so 'hot headed', but now you want to get to the root cause of the problem and you already THINK you know what it could be...


4. RECEIVING AN UNUSUAL AMOUNT OF TEXT MESSAGES ON THEIR MOBILE PHONE?


You could be at home or out - and your partner suddenly starts receiving messages. Not just one message, but several over a period of time.


Well this could be a normal everyday occurrence HOWEVER you know it's not, simply by the way he or she reacts when they receive them. Instead of telling you who the messages are from - they:


a) don't mention it b) tell you who its from but the person seems to be texting just that little too often and they are running out of excuses as to why that is c) refuse to show you the messages d) immediately delete them


This may understandably, arouse many questions in your mind and you NEED answers.


5. GOING OFF SEX OR PRACTISING UNUSUAL SEXUAL ACTS WITH YOU?


They're no longer interested in 'early nights' with you and do EVERYTHING to avoid intimacy on any level by keeping themselves busy with other things - such as housework, gardening, hobbies etc.


OR maybe it's the complete opposite and they have suddenly developed an unrequited passion for trying out new sexual positions with you.


Whatever the case, neither are the 'norm' in your relationship and you end up asking yourself 'why, does my partner no longer want to have any kind of intimacy when there are no

obvious reasons? Our sex/home life was always ok.'


OR 'Why has my partners' sexual appetite changed so much - he/she cant seem to think of much else these days?'


You find the situation hurtful and impossible and its quite 'soul destroying' because your partner won't give you a reasonable explanation as to why this is.


6. SPENDING MORE TIME ON THEIR APPEARANCE?


Using expensive aftershave or perfume that they didn't bother with before or buying expensive clothing, going to the gym.


7. USING THE COMPUTER ALONE AND IN SECRET?


Not allowing you access to their computer by password protecting it or suddenly shutting the computer down when you walk into the room. Staying up to "work" on the computer after you go to bed.


8. MAKING DISCREET PAYMENTS ON HIS/HER CREDIT CARD?


You've found items on your partner's credit card statement -such as hotel bills, restaurant payments and gifts you know nothing about.


9. NOT WHERE THEY SAID THEY WOULD BE?


Maybe you've tried calling them at work and they are not there or perhaps you have called them at the friends they said they were staying with but their friends haven't seen them or have made some excuse as to why you can's speak to them.


10. RECEIVING MYSTERIOUS PHONE CALLS?


They hurry to answer the phone, leave the room to talk on the phone and when you ask who called, they say, "No one," or "Wrong number." They also make certain you don't have access to their mobile phone by hiding it from you.

I never suggested women had rather sit there and wait for their man to dump her.

It is just an example (and not related to "the question", actually, sorry if i confused you) of the difference between men and women in terms of communication.

i.e how so many men do a disapearing act or stop calling you when they want out of a relationship (whether or not they've cheated on you and whether or not you've asked "the question"). It drives a woman crazy because they're being left to guess that it's over coz he couldn't be bothered to inform her.

Dont think its about being bothered - more a case of when you are a bearer of bad news why put up with the melodrama that will ensue? There is never a better way of telling a lady she is no longer important to be loved anymore. So why cant the woman take the 'hint'? There is no need to guess when it is all so obvious. His actions speak louder than words.

"Should men be exempt from acting decently on the basis of their gender?"

As always, very well put, flashback

Terminating a relationship may not be fun, but it is indeed simply a question of treating others with respect.

Hints are an immature cowardly way to deal with something no matter what the gender if your not mature enough to break up with someone properly you shouldn't be dating at all.

Expectations? Many do not rise up to them especially men who find it easier to disengage and detach with minimum fuss and melodrama. It is easier to avoid unpleasant scenes knowing full well the hurt their words will inflict onto another. Is there a better way of telling someone you have fallen out of love?

How on earth can a man feel better as bearer of bad news? To see the pain that the other person goes through is NOT goin to make the man feel better - it is traumatizing. Slinking away maybe cowardly but in reality is less hurtful and confrontational. Actions speak louder than words. Women must not expect men to be informative about breakups - if it happens - it happens. Explanations may invite confrontations and conflicts. Why instigate melodramas?

Lets not get carried away. Not responsible for the cause of the terminal illness is another thing, but why do women have this hangup about wanting to see men cry? Precisely in respect of the rejected person's feelings that the man gives the rejected woman a way out rather than sadistically watch her break apart. Somethings are best left unsaid esp. when love has died.

Bravo, flashback, totally agree with you. hey, men, never underestimate women's capacity of pain tolerance. Actually if men have a clear cut, most women can deal with it even it's quite painful, but we got to deal with it somehow, it's just not the end of world.

But why men play the tricks of disappearing, no answering? the reason guys says they don't want to see women crying, BS! don't you know the tricks you are playing are more hurtful? I guess possiblly you guys want to leave sth hanging on there, coz' if there is no clear cut, there is no official closure! oh, man is just as complicated as woman.

true nwtg, men are just as complicated.

Men dont like to deal with things if they dont have to, on the other hand, women dont want to admit things if they dont have to.

Theres no clear cut because men are afraid of the whole break up speech, the fight and all so they simply just slowly move away, or, visit another 7/11 and hope that women would 'get the hint', or better yet, if they dont like the new 7/11 they can always go back to the old one...

Women often time need a bang on the head saying 'move on, hes gone'. we need reasurrance, just like when we go shopping we know we want that pair of shoes but we have to ask our friends, do u think it looks good?

"Men dont like to deal with things if they dont have to, on the other hand, women dont want to admit things if they dont have to."


Women have problems admitting it to themselves that the relationship is over. They live in denial. They live in hope of reconciliation and delude themselves that all will be well given time and effort. Men move on and find replacements easily. Why dont women do the same? Many instead suffer lingering heartaches - for what?? better to lose and learn than to cling and get burnt.

It seems women 'just don't get it' Expecting a written closure is unrealistic. Move out and move on. Clinging and hoping is a waste of precious time and missing out on other opportunities.