Good councellor/therapist - recommendation needed

My boyfriend was sweet and considerate before but after we started living together he has changed to abrubt and even violent towards the children and pets and belittling towards me. There must be some other solution to this than just to run though my fear wants to take over just now. I do know it is a major change of life for him and takes serious effort from both sides to make it work. From the practical side moving out now would be financial suicide for me after the adjustments I made in order to move in with him.


It seems clear that he is repeating the pattern he learned from his father who was very strict, while his mother is still spoiling him. That may still be something one could learn away from if willing to change. I know it can't be just bad luck again, some part of me must be seriously blind to the hints I should seen beforehand. I have tried to discuss with him to no avail. I would like to give it a try to attend councelling, but I feel it is essential to find a good therapist for it to be of any value. Do you know anyone who you can truly recommend?

St. John's Counselling seems to be recommended inprevious posts so I called them (252 57207) and await for them to contact me to set up a meeting. But if anyone would know about a specific therapist to recommend that might be better

Hello


You might want to contact Lesley Lewis.

You can read a bit about her here: http://www.culture3counsel.com/


I believe you can make appointments with her through Dr. Lauren Bramley & Partners

http://www.laurenbramley.com/

Tel: 2877 6068


Lesley is very professional and personally, she has helped me deal with and overcomes many different issues... I'm not sure what I would have done had I not gone to her for help.


Good luck and I hope you are able to find the help you are looking for :)

He must seek change and attend therapy with you. If not, counseling for you only will just serve to help you feel better about your situation.


You can try a bit of behavior modification. (It is how animal trainers train their dolphins, dogs etc.)


Immediately give a reward for the behaviors you want as soon as he does it. It must be immediate. Conversely, ignore undesired behaviors. By ignore I mean completely ignore him for a minute or so. No eye contact or communication whatsoever.


Humans are more complicated than animals, but you will be suprised at some of the results you will see.


Good luck

"even violent towards the children and pets and belittling towards me" Don't condone violence of any shape or form. He needs counseling for anger management issues as you need counseling for staying on as a victim. Excuses for his wrong behavior is being in denial of the real situation. He feels safe to be himself now that you are both living together - his true color emerges. Protect those most precious to you first - your children.

Be alert to the victim/abuser syndrome.