Posted by
ODS
15 yrs ago
Watched a programme the other day- speaking about aged 21-35 years old population in hk.
Each 1000 women there's only 700 men. This number is including professionals expats in HK, while not including the domestic helpers.
and just out of a curious ... checked out "Personals" on AX.
# - Men Wanting Women (82)
# - Women Wanting Men (213)
Pretty much obvious isn't it ...
I have a lot of friends who are pretty, nice ladies, professionals, but they are single for few years. Not that they haven't tried but they said: 'its not hard to meet men, but good one is almost impossible to find".
Male friends of mine, even they are Non-professional men - but they are having 3,4 girl friends, some even having GFs in Mainland. Professional and Expats friends of mine, if they are not married (Or in a stable relationship), they are players who has a gf at home but cheat around.
A friend I know (Western lady, professional) got divorced because of her husband (European) cheat on her with a younger western girl.
So take care of yourself everyone.
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ronin
15 yrs ago
Not sure what is meant by the 'good ones are almost impossible to find', but reckon that maybe your lady friends have set their expectations a bit too high. That may be the root cause of the problem here.
Professional, well-educated women (like your friends) tend to seek out men who are in the same (and hopefully higher) social / financial strata. It would be a fair assumption that your 'highly educated / financially independent / career successful' lady friends would not consider a relationship with a janitor who has a good heart (may be wrong here though = ) ).
There is a saying that 'beggars cannot be choosers', so maybe your friends should lower their expectations when it comes to men and they may have more luck!
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I once said to a male expat friend "it's like a smorgasboard for white guys in HK, there are girls everywhere" His reply was, "yeah, if you're only wanting to get laid, there are a lot of girls. But if you want to find a quality, intelligent woman, who's on the same page to have a relationship with, it's pretty hard." So I think both men and women have problems finding a "decent" person to have a relationship with.
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selda
15 yrs ago
maybe it's time for HK women to become a bit more adventurous. Instead of spending your money and time in self-improvement courses (waste of time, as most men don't care if you speak French, Spanish and Korean, can arrange flowers or read tarots ) just travel to places where there is an over-supply of men. Easy. Mainland China is one of those places, India is not a bad place either.
Of course, if you suffer from some sort of racist bias, stay in HK and moan.
HK men who cannot find a wife in HK have been outsourcing wives in China for a long time. What stops local women from doing the same thing?
A lot of professional men from the Mainland are more mature, fit and good-looking than HK guys. Get off your high horse and start looking around. When i was in Beijing my head kept turning... i am in a relationship, otherwise i would have pursued them :-)
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The fact some western guys may date locals is a red herring - many I know prefer western girls but only if they could find a compatible one that isn't too drunk, too busy at yoga or on a girls weekend to Burma - you need to decide yourself - Find a long term boyfriend and make some sacrifices initially or go on endless girlfriend breaks?!!!
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i have to agree with kaileyb's friend. There are plenty of opportunities to have a meaningless one-nighter, but eventually most men will grow a little tired of that (or else end up like a sad little kid who has made himself sick in a sweetshop) and yearn for more. That is harder to find, here, and elsehwere, I guess. Women are soooooo demanding these days (lol) ... Seriously, where are all these "nice professional ladies"?? ...
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Wanted:
One (or more for choice) well-established professional(s), impressive salary, hard-working yet romantic, worldly but also homely, ready with witty repartee at moments notice, ready to guide, ready to teach, well-built, handsome, tall, entertaining, strong, adoring etc. etc. etc. male, to settle down with professional HK lady as soon as possible.
Expats only. Mediocre expats not possessing the above attributes and any males orginating from the Asian region with or without the above attributes need not apply.
HK Lady
what is the big mystery here?
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Myria
15 yrs ago
in shanghai, we girls have the same problem in finding the good men...
very very difficult...
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whoosh..
the sound of a missed point rushing overhead
Myria, witch, if you're having the same problem as the women here then it's probably because you're thinking like them
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I would like to say that the western men that come to hongkong are quite strange to say the least. I mean , a lot of the attractive women here we can go to a pub etc and none of these guys will come over and say hi etc. Whereas if it was in Vancouver or Canberra men invest more in the art of being social etc. Here man we were at mint and you know what the men that approached you were fast movers, they were not only interested in dancing with you but also snogging you. I think one of my perceptive girlfriends said it all when she said that some guys that come over here are "zeros to heros". They may have been rejected in the west so they hop on a plane and come to good old hongkong where the chinese women make it so easy for them. They practically dont have to do anything to and they get to hop into bed with them that night. So guys heres the deal if you want to get involved with an indian or western women who has the brains and the beauty, you will have to work for it but believe me when I say this, the effort is well worth it
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I'm not sure why some women who come to asia and just assume all men are players with yellow fever who just want to love them and leave them... come on ladies how about admitting that there are some nice guys out there but you might just have to actually socialise with men to meet the good ones, and stop being so bitter and twisted.
And I don't know about you... but I like the odd drink myself, so I'm not sure why you discount every guy who has had a few drinks... no one is saying you have to sleep with them immediately, but discounting them (not even talking to them)without giving them a chance might be part of the problem, no?
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I agree with Lloyd. There are a lot of stereotypically built hoops one would believe they have to jump through in order to date an Indian hottie...I mean, we all watched "Bend it like Beckham" erm...at least I did. Why would someone want to go out on a limb when there is so much else within arms reach?
The truth of the matter is that most folks that are single are single coz they are "too picky" or simply dont go out much. By that I mean...if you arent much for going out and being a go getter, the likelihood of prince charming, or even a mingin frog, of falling into your lap, is slim to zero.
Its good to maintain the right attitude...the thing is, I knew friends, female friends...who moaned about the lack of "good men" here in HK and so at some point in their early 30's decided to pack up and move to "greener" pastures so as to nab that elusive "2.5 kids, picket fence, labrador" life...wanna know what? They are now in their late 30's, still single women who are silently resigned to never dating anyone less colorful than a suicidal Polish potter!
Alls I am saying is...it may have something to do with HK but then again, it may have something to do with the person doing the searching. Once people man up to that and quit saying they are single because of stiff competition and just maybe admit they are single coz they might not be the prize catch they think they are...well, maybe some non-seven-figure-earning dude might be in with a chance to make er happy!
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Why be so bitchy towards the local women? So, they have different "values" to all you "educated", well-heeled and oh-so-sophisticated western ladies. Maybe it's just a cultural thing. Face it, you're on their turf, and perhaps you have to play by their rules. If you don't want to do that, then stop moaning; you got beat by a better woman. That's life. Supply and demand. Move on.
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Ed
15 yrs ago
This is not a war... its a forum and we're all friends here eh
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I agree...y'know what? I was reading this book recently and in it this woman, who was working in foreign services and stationed in Bangkok was celebrating her 50th birthday in style and what she wanted was for all her 40's (yep, you read it right...40's!) single, divorced or cheatin, well heeled, educated, well employed, female friends to have a date and/or to have a blast being entertained and not bored. So she took out an ad in the paper looking for well heeled, educated, interesting men who would want to meet like in the opposite sex...saying there was an "audition" and then had the interviews at the Ritz. You know so many people responded, so many MEN, that she was stunned! There are men out there who are interested, they just havent been asked! They narrowed it down from over a 100 to 20 guys and then the interviews were a right blast as about 10 women rocked up to judge...and out of the 20 they picked 12...they were all from different walks of life...from a plumber to an artist, from a businessman to an aid worker...from a poet to a carpenter!
Women have the power to put themselves out there and still have a say in it...maybe instead of girls jaunts to Paris y'all can get together and do something similar and consider every guy who has a sense of humor instead of ones with a six pack like that Wolverine guy (who by the way, is super hot and has brought chest hair back in vogue! Shoop!) but yes, most guys dont look like him...and most women dont look like Nicole Kidman either...and lets face it, most women in their 30's and 40's, which are the usual suspects in the search for love in HK, definitely dont look like her.
:o)
Make it happen...someone plan it, and someone execute it...and before you know it, the least you would have is a bloody good time!
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maxis
15 yrs ago
Squid's satire on the "Expats only" is very much the case, often.
I have often heard western women in HK say:
"all the guys here are rejects or failures in their own country, and are from zero to hero"
But most of them who say it are single and will stay that way with their attitude. I have never heard a woman who is happy with her personal life say it, though.
Also, this "got yellow fever" comment is quite offensive to both the men and te women, and is quite a racist thing to say really.
It would seem, in the main, that western women are not at all interested in local men, and often cite reasons such as cultural differences, desparity in height etc...all P.C.
Why not give a local man a chance- there's plenty about in HK.
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Agree wholeheartedly...I have never had a problem dating in HK...maybe it can be said that I dated problems or that I was a dating problem, but never really had a problem finding a date in HK. Sure some may have looked like Frankenstein but had a wonderful sense of humor and knew how to sniff a good wine...or maybe the odd one had super short arms that were disproportionate to the body they were attached to...but hey, somewhere in that pile of good first date efforts there were dates that made it past the hundred yard dash and were capable of brightening my life even if it were only for a handful of months, lol.
Thing is, I remember this gay friend of mine, this yoga instructor, very buff and all, and he was complaining about how he had become so bitter with the dating scene in HK and how he had his heart broken so many times by the fickle ways of men...and he was amazed at me how everytime I had a relationship end I just dusted myself off and went happily down the street into something new without detracting away from the future. You see, he became more and more guarded with each misstep whereas I just became more aware that not everything is meant to last forever, so I was still happy to be carefree and give as much into the next relationship opportunity.
Thats what we find out here though, many gals and guys who have been hurt go into the next opportunity giving less of themselves...its no wonder you will GET less in return. Over time, its a vicious cycle and it will only end up badly.
We cannot say that western gals (and really what do we mean by "western"??) should just bite the bullet and tap the local market! Pshh, being a woman dating an asian man is a lot different than being a man dating an asian woman. Attitudes towards women are wholly different. A lot of "asian" women date foreign men because they like being treated with a bit more respect or as equals...or maybe they believe that the "western" man is more romantic or whatever...whatever the deal is, its not as easy as it sounds to have women just pick a local as they please. We all know the kind of man or woman that attracts us, its like telling a vegetarian to just suck it up and eat chicken!
*shrug*
Awwww whatever. Its just not that easy, thats all...Still, by advising folks to quit being picky I mean, maybe you should give the guys who fit your basic requirements a go...they may not fit ALL your standards, but you never know until you date a few, and really, going out on dates is a good way to sharpen your people skills! Date, even if it comes to nothing, go out on a handful of blind dates a month..it will teach you to be human and communicate...and will also teach you about yourself and what is unique about you...Get on out there!
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kh888
15 yrs ago
Wow – I have to say that I read these posts and I’m shocked!
I’m not in China yet, but is this really the sentiment from women in China? Or just expat women in China? I can understand why some have the opinion that if you want certain “Western” qualities you may have to adjust as you’re in another country, but simultaneously understand that its not quite that easy. What exactly is it that you’re all looking for? The qualities of a Western guy in a Chinese fellow?
Now I’m wondering what kind of women are going to be like when I arrive…
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I have been staying in Korean for few months, the girls are so submissive even they are all very tough in manner. This is what you can't find in Hong Kong girls so called "office lady" or "professional banker" you know, they are all arrogant.
Most of the Japanese girls are quite the same as Korean girls too.
Even at this generation.
I feel so sad on HK girls that they never do household job, never cook, wash dishes and ironing. They are proud of hiring a domestic helper but discard the family.
I am based in HK yet studied overseas.
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yujanice.. interesting point- but i think you jumped to conclusions too fast given it's a complicated topic to start with.
"zero to hero"- right on da money!
argh it really pisses me off- we asian women have to play it hard. gotta stand up for our image.! don't act like swarming bees all over honey please... like every white guy will think we are easy..!
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I'm sure there are lots of Asian women who have the dignity and self-respect not to throw themselves at western men. Personally, I never thought Asian women were "easy" .. just different. Half the women you see pouring all over western men in LKF/Wanchai on a Fri/Sat night are ladies of the night, with only $ in their mind, so maybe your view is being coloured somewhat.
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actually i agree with poster ODS. Even in Singapore where I live, there're so many more girls than boys around. you can go to any part of Singapore at any time, whether peak or non peak hour, and see so many more girls than boys at one spot. Even on a crowded bus, just have a look around and you'll see so many more girls than guys. And many ladies in singapore in their 20s are finding it very hard to land a guy becoz there're just not enough to go around. from what a few have stated here, i dont think it's a matter of choice/preference/setting standards issue. I just think there're plainly too many girls around than guys.
I think some countries have more girls than boys. For Singapore, im very sure there're more girls than guys. I think it's also the same in Japan and China. Whereas I noticed that in India and the muslim countries, there're a lot men. I think maybe it's the kind of genes, the diet or something.
I read a report which mentioned that men who're stressed or work in harmful environment lose or produce very little Y chromosomes which are needed to make a baby boy.
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bing2
15 yrs ago
hong kong guys lack self confident and afraid to lose "face". although they like someone let's say in a club, they are too afraid to express their interest and they can't take rejection. they are so afraid just to talk, and if they do, they dont know what to say.....so they rather stay put, play with their friends and enjoy their drink. you girls just dont know how much they fancy you!
my advice to the women here: dont play hard to get....this is the 21st century, cmon. even girls are now proposing to guys for marriage.
girls who are not afraid of showing interest, flirty and not playing hard to get (without being slutty) are the ones who are not spending valentine's day alone.
girls, remember that guys are babies thus they need "encouragement" from you!
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bing2
15 yrs ago
justin credible says:
We cannot say that western gals (and really what do we mean by "western"??) should just bite the bullet and tap the local market! Pshh, being a woman dating an asian man is a lot different than being a man dating an asian woman. Attitudes towards women are wholly different. A lot of "asian" women date foreign men because they like being treated with a bit more respect or as equals...or maybe they believe that the "western" man is more romantic or whatever...whatever the deal is, its not as easy as it sounds to have women just pick a local as they please. We all know the kind of man or woman that attracts us, its like telling a vegetarian to just suck it up and eat chicken!
i am chinese and i dated western girls (both serious and long term relationship). you are wrong if you think western girls dont want to date local men. it's not about the local men, it's about connection and chemistry between two people.
your comment is so arrogant and you are obvioulsy ignorant about women. women dont care if you are asian, white, black or whatever, if they like you, find you interesting, feel comfortable with you, you can be a gorilla as far as i'm concerned.
in asia you see less local men with western girls because local men have no confident to approach western girls and because of family value.
asian girls throwing themselves or dating western guys mostly after their $$.
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I know many local HK (not ABC or Filipinos or Main Landers) girls who would not date Western Men just due to the cultural differences and I know alot of single local women.
They do become a little desperate once past 30 and so lower their standards.
There are alot of local women past or about to hit 30, who would marry a local guy who she would not even date let alone look at when she was younger. They end up marrying the nerdy office guys who could never ever get a date.
I asked them why and basically, their values have changed and fun and good looks are not a priority but security and family values are more important and these nerdier guys can give them financial security and will dedicate themselves more to the girls than the playboy types that these women liked when they were younger
I think you don't see alot of Local men chasing western women mainly because of cultural differences and I guess the main thing would be LANGUAGE. If their english is not that good, they would not have the confidence to approach a western women.
The local guys also think western women are more troublesome and probably too much work.
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i don't think it's family values that stops men approaching women .. it's family values ie, cultural values, that stop Asian men dating western women. Big difference. There are still a lot of traditional Chinese families in Hk, with strong Confucian values. Does that help at all, Loyd (must say, I think I prefer Miss Venezuela...)
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bing2
15 yrs ago
aijin,
what do you mean they change their attitude? i personally did not change my attitude towards my partner and ex-partner. i prefer western women's mind set and way of thinking compare to chinese/ asian women who are more needy and actually need more work. western women are more independent and they dont expect too much out of a guy, well at least not in my case.
not that i dont like chinese/ asian women, they are great too but as i said before it is all about connection and chemistry between two people.
also, western women are really good in bed....hahaha.....please dont be offended....this is only personal view.......peace out!
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bing2
15 yrs ago
really? well, you should dump him.....hahaha.....
i guess you probably dated a really, really local guy.
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kh888
15 yrs ago
Wow…this is such an interesting thread to read…Western girls in China, here I come!!!
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Part of the problem in HK is the feeling of insecurity which is felt by HK people generally. The people here are embarrassed by their English skills and they genuinely feel like their place in the world is a bit uncertain I think.
Having the English telling you your language and culture are deficient for 100 yrs will do that to you. Hence the fascination and sycophantic behaviour.
I think the other issue is a basic issue with how women think and who they are attracted to.
Women more than anything else I think are attracted to a man with a higher social status than them. Its not really about money or looks or anything else, its purely a situation where they want an ego boost out of being seen with someone of a high social status. Which is why women of all ages love celebrities.
For HK women this is even more pronounced because for their entire lives they have been swooned over and protected by their families. They dont leave home like western people do at around 18 or 19 yrs of age, they will live at home until marriage. Not only that but they have maids and nannys running around after them, ever wondered why few HK women like to cook?
So basically what they seek is that same feeling of security...the best chance for that is with a western man, because we assume higher status in HK society (thank the British Empire for that).
The more insecure a woman is the more secure her partner needs to be, hence the high expectations of squid person above.
Thats what I see anyway, feel free to disgree!
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Aijin, it seems he treats you more like a maid than a wife. I note you say "living together" .. does that imply you are not married? Not that I'm judging, but it would sure make it easier to walk away, which is what I suggest you do, before committing yourself to perpetual servitude.
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Haha I think the reality of the situation is, for better or for worse, you can call it racism or whatever you want.. But, some western women just don't like asian men. Whether it's the way we look, or whatever stigma we may carry (small tools etc?), who knows. But I think that's a contributing factor as to why a lot of the local dudes don't go after you gals.. Being shut down hard in the past by some ice cold racism is rough on anyone's ego.
I'm chinese, but I was born in Canada and grew up as the only chinese kid in my city more or less. I spent most of my adolescent life dating 'western' (let's not beat around the bush anymore, White) women. From personal experience, there's always a bit of an ethnic barrier that must be broken down and it helps being a bit of a masochist.
Fear of rejection is something universal in humans all around the world. It's not specific to men or women or people in Hong Kong etc. This being said, I don't think that's the sole reason why you girls aren't getting approached.
If I've had hotter girls than you hit on me before, why would I bother putting in the effort for you. It's not like I can see your personality through the bottom of my pint or something, so at a bar/club/etc where it's just a huge meat market, don't sit/stand there expecting to be approached.
Any of the girls hot enough to motivate a man to approach them would have one (or more) already. If you find yourself asking yourself why men in Hong Kong are pussies or cowards it's not that, it's just that you just aren't that hot (or 'intriguing' for a more politically correct term.) So, adjust your behaviour and expectations accordingly. I'm not saying 'settle' for some ugly nerd, but perhaps you need to broaden your acceptable scope of possible suitors, that's all.
Elsdon
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How about, in this age of emancipation, western women grab the bull by the testicles, so to speak, and make the first move?
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bing2
15 yrs ago
aijin,
i hope at least you learned something about asian/ chinese men....but most importantly i hope you had some hot sex with them......hahahaha.........
anyway, chinese men are still quite traditional although most of them wont admit it. when it comes to marriage, their family's opinion is very important to them. for some reason, chinese men need the blessing of their family to take a bride home. i would say this is bs but this is the way it is here.
for your next target, if you are looking for some hot, successfull and adventerous local men, i know plenty of them.....hahaha.......j/k
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Western men come to Asia for Asian women....if we wanted a western woman we would stay in our own countries, its not that either of the two are better or worse than each other its just a personal preference.
Different mentalities and cultural upbringings attract different people.
Im 23, Australian (male) and teaching English here, that puts me in a higher pay bracket than most girls i meet by at least 3x, It makes me a very attractive option to most Asian girls (which i enjoy of course - who doesn't enjoy being attractive to the majority of people you see?) I don't like the western mentality/cultural upbringing in what i want as a girl friend, thats why im in China.
I'm not saying that western girls are wrong to be here, I'm just saying that expecting western men to pay attention to 1 western girl when we see on average 15 to 25 extremely attractive Chinese girls every day is stretching the expectation a bit far.........
Western men here are not all players or just trying pump and dump (a lot of them are) it's a combination of the ego we develop from having so many girls interested in us and their own personalities, I'm 6f1 blond hair blue eyes and I have a good well muscled body - I had multiple gfs going for my first few months here and then i met one girl who was different/special to me so im going solo with her.
I have a few western male friends who played the field for the first year or so and now have steady live in girlfriends (Chinese) who are happy with their relationships.
Hope it helps give some understanding.
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i also very interested why so many (western) women need men more than men need women here but why don't ask them our questions directly? If someone want to know the mind of chinese woman, it is welcome to feel free to ask me or how about the the image of native chinese men for me .
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dicelady, Please tell me what appeals to you about chinese men vs western men, tell me what you think is good about both groups and also how you perceive western women?
It's a classic stereotype but I have to say I don't see why so many western women complain....I mean sure there's few available western men for them but you'd think with 600 million chinese men they could find a good one, Shanghaiese men seem to be really good towards their women, carry bags, cook, look after them in every way possible.
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selda
15 yrs ago
I noticed that this thread went from being about the skewed ratio of men to women (a fact) to something more disturbing... Chinese women vs Western women.
Let's stop talking about ethnicity, and just take a sober look at the data. Statistics reveal that there are more women than men, and that a lot of these men marry women from across the border.
If HK women were a bit more pro-active in love matters, they would start doing the same thing, looking to the mainland, where the opposite is true (not enough women).
As justin credible said, if you have the right attitude, men will never be scarce, even in HK.
By right attitude i mean letting your hair down, enjoying your life, being open to new encounters, going to parties, smiling, following your interests, and having realistic expectations about men.
We all know that when we are in a happy relationship more men are actually attracted to us. I never get so much attention as when i have just left my bf's flat. Maybe because i am relaxed and still exuding sex hormones...who knows, but i know that men with sexual hang ups are not very attractive, so it might be true for women as well.
I have a friend in Europe who is a living proof of this. She can go for 6 months without a date, and then once she starts going out with a guy she inevitably finds herself in a very complicated situation, with at least 3 men pursuing her at the same time, and she can't choose!
So, all it takes is a
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bing2
15 yrs ago
"We all know that when we are in a happy relationship more men are actually attracted to us. I never get so much attention as when i have just left my bf's flat. Maybe because i am relaxed and still exuding sex hormones...who knows, but i know that men with sexual hang ups are not very attractive, so it might be true for women as well."
hahaha.....if you are hot you will always get a lot of attention from guys, if you are not ....hahaha......doesnt matter if you just had sex for 10 times that day, no guys will give you attention........
we, guys, are quite shallow.......indeed......hahaha.......
agree with flashback, gotta be active....this is the key for meeting men, but then again, hahaha,....you gotta be hot......hahaha.....
men are shallow and will always be shallow.........hahaha..........
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you know something, i am an indian female and our girlfriends are open to guys coming and talking to us etc. However everywhere we look they are snogging local women they have just met. So to the jerk who suggest we learn from them sorry - I have never snogged anyone I have just met on the dance floor and some of them look like they need a hotel room on the dance floor- we are not prudes by any means but sorry to say even the expat chinese girls that come to hongkong say this as a joke. Hi I am gweilo - Come and F---- me !!!! We have time for you guys we are there where everyone hangs out, we are approachable etc but no some of these guys do is just beeline for the local women thinking they can get some tonight. I mean how many times have we seen that in pubs and bars etc. My other girlfriends has female friends that are gorgeous and she said in the 4 years she has been inhongkong not one male guy has approoached them !!!!!!1
If after reading this, there is a decent guy who wants to get to know someone etc then they are welcome to contact us. Otherwise please take a trip to langkwai fong, and you will see the gweilo - chinese lady phenomenon.
over and out
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hi ravishing, surely there are enough decent guys out there who want to get known someone...
but seeing the way you're finishing your post "over and out" I would walk straight past you and try to find someone with a more positive attitude and big smile on the face
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Ravishing, I never trust the bar scenes...There are not the ideal place to find a decent guy.
Guys are the same finally I supposed, they are all looking for the same thing and same as gals.
Yet I quite agree expathub that HK gals have $$$in their eyes which is more significatnt than western gals. please don't offended hk gals and it is normal in this circumstance. Guys are so crap here, they never promise, never act like a man, their only function is carrying their gf's hangbag, or paying for the tickets...
They like go out or on the contrary they just hiding at home.
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get out and get active...as much fun as it is the bar scene will get you nowhere
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pcmdg
15 yrs ago
oh honey...you need to change your expectation - upward!!. I am simply amazed by the comments in this thread. My boyfriend, a western guy, offers to do my washing, he cooks my dinner - and breakfast and lunch - why" because he loves to cook, and I love that he loves to cook (I am a crap cook:-) !! he makes me coffee, and is great looking and great in bed. And I met him when I had only been in the hong kong for a few weeks. I am a wonderful girlfriend, I love my own space, i appreciate him (for his talents and for his shortfalls) and I deserve to be looked after - he is greatly appreciated and feels appreciated - he is a wonderful man. Mostly I make him laugh a lot, and he always puts a smile on my dial! Within a few hours of our first date, he knew that i am not a great cook, i like my own space, and that i am happy within myself, who i am, and what i stand for - as is he...that leads to some interesting discussion on occasion. there are fabulous men out there - being the maid is great if that is what makes you happy and is your chosen profession - if not, time to set some new boundaries or be on your own.
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bing2
15 yrs ago
hahaha, i'm laughing my a** out .....
everything is beautiful at the beginning......
my first 12 months with any gf: ok, honey, what do you want? can i cook you dinner, buy you lunch, take your laundry, etc....
hehehe, just wait after 12, max 24 months.......you'll see......if your super bf is still the same......
and dont send me hate mails.......if he changes and not that in to you anymore.......
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I'd like to hear an answer. So what about it dice?
I once asked a girl what she thought of Asian men and how she felt about the assumption that western women weren't into them. She said that wasn't true and said all her girlfriends were interested in dating Asian men.
Observation suggests that has to be the exception not the rule, unless it's not that some won't date an 'Asian Man' but rather which Asian Man
Anyway China's on the up and up maybe the dice will start rolling in a different direction, and in the end doesn't it all boil down to marketing?
personally i think it's all down to physiology - you look at the average physique of the Asian Male and that of a western female and there's not a great deal of difference there, minus the obvious of course, that's has to be a factor
but people are 'sheep' are they not? If people saw more Asian Men / western women pairings around, they'd start thinking it was more acceptable and even possible, and then they'd be more likely to give it a try
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bing2
15 yrs ago
i would like to ask you squid, why you used the word "acceptable"? you think asian men dating western women is not acceptable? and what do you mean "minus the obvious"?
when you say it's all down to physiology, are you refering to asian men being "undersize"?
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"I asked myself the same question and came up with a number of about 2 million in HK alone. My criteria for a long-term/short-term partners are as follows: 1) Must be female at birth 2) Mustn't be physically repulsive but plain is okay 3) Must be in my age range (say 6 years either side 4) Must have a reasonable grasp of personal hygiene and manners"
Maths/statistics clearly not LGIMV's strong suit - no 10-year age band in Hong Kong has anywhere near 1 million women in it, so the number of 2 million is off by a multiple even before the other criteria are taken into consideration...
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LGIMV's problem is that he thinks he's Jason Bourne when perhaps he's just Jason Bored
to answer your question Bing, apologies, since i didn't mean to offend, when I said people would start thinking it's more 'acceptable' i was talking about a simultaneous change in perception on both sides - if we saw more Asian men dating western women, Asian men will start to believe that western women are willing to date them and vice versa as well as western women thinking fellow westerners have found some common ground that makes them happy to date an Asian man which may make them more curious to investigate
As for the 'obvious', i wasn't talking about the Asian male 'myth' but i was talking about the female upper region. Asian men do have relatively slender builds and western women may not like that. Sad but true
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bing2
15 yrs ago
apology accepted squid. well, in my opinion western women like any kind of race or most of us, it's just that whether we like that particular person and have some kind of connection with that person. i am for one does not have any preference of race/ background. if i like that person, i dont care what's her race/ background.
could be true about asian men being small. after all women are mostly attracted to men with broad shoulder.
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with Due respects to all....
I am from Middle east but have studied my College education in London and have traveled widely in china, hongkong, taiwan, korea, vietnam, singapore, thailand etc many times. I noticed one thing ubiquitously common in these asian countries : young and beautiful asian girls go around with elderly western men. Being an young man, I used to wonder what is it that attracts these young girls towards older western men. Yes, as you rightly guessed, nothing but the dollars and or a ray of hope for a comfortable post married life, in case these white men decide to marry them. These men thoroughly enjoy these girls who are as old as their grand children and also they keep changing women at different times and places. Shanghai and Bangkok are two greatest places of examples.
What stops Asian men from approaching western women, nothing but their inferiority complex, becoz the women are tall, beautiful and have a sexy body. They feel inferior to approach these women thinking that they dont match the physical attraction possessed by the western men.
Most of the ads placed by women in asiaxpat irrespective of location, prefer caucasians and not the local men. If you analyze these ads, most of them want a sould mate and not a player, which clearly says that every woman had few players in their past affairs. If you go deep into this you will understand that these women have yielded to the advances of the Playing men. So, there is no point in just blaming the men. There is a saying in Enlgish : FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU; FOOL ME TWICE, SHAME ON ME... this is applicable for everyone.
So my suggestion to the women is, please think twice, thrice, before you end up yourself in the bedroom of a man. who knows he is not one of the players around your town? ?Dont contribute to making more players around your town. Cheers..
Sunny
(I am based in Dubai City)
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OK, this thread seems to be getting of course. Here is the simple easy to remember, its ugly but its the truth rule... Men and woman are as committed as their options. Brief explanation: Everyday in a relationship we do a cost/benefit analysis on our partner. It the costs exceed the benefit we dip into our relationship bank and withdraw some of the other persons stored relationship currency, when the bank runs dry we leave/break up/divorce. What's the difference between men/woman, old/young, local/foreign? First, its the criteria we use to do that cost/benefit analysis. Second, its how big the currency bank is. People with fewer option tend to have lower, and fewer criteria, and larger pools of relationship currency in the bank...
Here's an example, Older guy (mid 40's), decent job (recruiter), average shape (not fat but not athletic) and looks (not ugly but nothing sexy either). His younger (late 20's), local (chinese), low end job (office assistant), pretty (Black hair, black eyes, not overweight, A cup). One day he picks her up outside her office and takes her to dinner at a nice restraunt as a surprise. She thinks he's so sweet and not only thinks he's a great guy but deposits some relationship currency in the bank. Now a week later, no call from him on friday. She thinks about him and thinks she should be treated better then this, and takes a withdrawl from the relationship bank. A week later he forgets her birthday, and she thinks this is enough he doesn't really care for her, and he's old anyway. She leaves a message on his voice mail that night thats its not working out and they shouldn't be together anymore.
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Perhaps local ladies should reevaluate their opening gambits and try asking face to face instead of posting in personals.
5 minutes of face to face can say so much about a person than years online, in my opinion.
In 16 years of living in HK, I've been approached by one lady. She was Japanese, here on business.
I'm athletic, medium/tall, 30" waist, blue eyes and now 38. I'm an outdoors guide with my own business. Money is not great but I don't do what I do to be financially rich.
I'm certainly no oil painting but then I'm better than a Pollock...
In 16 years I've not been approached by one local lass. Of the ladies I've approached, the majority have been receptive.
"Things" don't arrive on your lap, people.
If you want it, go and get it. Don't just dream about it and then wonder why it never happens.
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There are plenty of single men, but a lot of Ladies are quite fussy. While there are a lot of good men, there are very, very few perfect men, and most women have a problem understanding that the perfect man is going to marry a better woman that them.
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Years ago, I met a woman who worked at a British embassy in the region & interviewed couples wanting a spouse visa - 99% British guys marrying local women, rarely the other way. She found that the women, having become more independent in recent years, wanted a western man as they thought he wouldn't expect them to morph into a housewife. The guys were often marrying local women because they wanted a sweet, submissive wife. Often she'd ask what the wife planned to do in the UK- and it would develop into a bit of a row because they'd say they wanted to work & the guy would say Oh no, you're not....
she said she sometimes wanted to offer the girls a student visa so they could go to the UK And find someone better, if they were that desperate!
She had no figures on divorce rates....
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I have to agree with CaptDave.
HK women in their 30s and 40s want men who are rich, handsome, not too old and in a good job. Now, that is tough as these men want women in their 20s.
Many ladies won't accept a man who has been divorced or is not Chinese or is not educated or is not rich or is younger than them or all of the above.
I have been asked by my many single female friends to introduce single male friends to them. When I ask my single male friends, they end up not knowing what they want or they are just out for fun.
I must admit that some of these male friends, much as they are my friends, I will not wish them on my worst enemy.
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Well, as a divorced guy who has used dating sites in HK in an attempt to meet local women, I can tell you my experience has not been positive. Many of the local ladies go straight for the jugular and ask what your salary/financial position is before even asking for a photo. It is almost as if they base there selection criteria upon this rather than anything else. I can only say that would be akin to a guy only wanting to date women who had a certain bust size or shape and to hell with personality etc.
I have had other women reject me because I am divorced with ongoing financial responsibilities to my ex and my children. However, I am perfectly open to having a relationship with a lady who has children from a previous marriage if, of course, we click. However, it doesn't seem to cut both ways. HK is a dating graveyard.
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Hey PizzaAce ...... I totally agree with you ..... Especially if they are educated, you dont stand a chance unless you are Mr Rich and Handsome.
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Wanting to "be with someone" is already on the wrong track. You are, or you not. Make the best of either one of your situation, stop "looking" for something you dont want to have or want anymore ...
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Why is having a partner a necessity? Why do ppl make the women sound so desperate when they talk about women looking for a partner? I think the correct attitude is to look for someone who will add sth onto your life and vice versa. It is not a necessity to have someone. You should be happy with yourself first and then you are in the right place to look for a partner who should be a bonus rather than a necessity.
I don't think anyone needs to feel sorry for anyone or jump to the conclusion that if they are not with someone now, they must be picky. Isn't it far better to know what you want and look for that? Why is lowering the bar out of sheer loneliness and desperation seen as more correct? It is like pre-formulating disappointment into a relationship before it even gets started. Being on one's own is far better than being stuck in a relationship with someone you don't even like. And I have seen too many men who are in the latter position looking for a bit on the side.
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Its not right to generalize. There is a right guy / girl for everyone, no matter what age you're at, you just have to keep your eyes (and mind) open.
I've experienced something quite different since I started dating again a few months ago... that is I have had a few 'younger' men approached me this time whereas it had never happened in the past.... Not that this is bad, I was quite thrilled actually, but being a Chinese, most of us would have hard time accepting a younger man no matter how good he is... one or two years is ok but not five or more...
So maybe not all men in their 30's or 40's are looking for girls in their 20s after all (cos I am in my early 40s).
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I think the major problem women have in finding a partner is that Asian women are too focused on the financial/career side of life and put too much emphasis on looks! After all, courtship and marriage have very little to do with love here!
I have met tons of women in Shanghai. They all are concerned with money. When they find out that I don't give money away, am not interested in getting a housewife, do not strive to be rich, and don't want to ever own a house or car, they usually lose interest. If the women are single and 30 or older, most believe they will be single forever and have given up. And if they are in their early 20's and single, they either believe love is something that Hollywood tells the truth about or they are sluts! Not much to chose from in my opinion.
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In one of the replies above, it said Asian women do not want to go into a relationship with divorced men...
Actually it does not apply to all of us. I have divorced for a couple of years, actually I am more keen on going out with a divorced or widowed man because when they go into a permanent relationship they would be more caring and know-how to compromise with each other to sustain the relationship.
The question is where are these men hidding? I don't believe going out in LKF can meet someone decent unless I am an extremely lucky star. So what other social activities can meet decent people?
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very well said, Joanna, I totally agreed with you, having a partner is suppose to bring happiness, if it doesn’t or worse, produced unwanted pain/unhappy feeling, then why bother...being alone will be far better. Having said that, craving for someone to share our life with is natural human behaviour, but never lowering the bar just because you are afraid to be alone.
Hotchocolate, the saying that “there is someone for everyone” is mainly for soothing purpose rather than the truth. for example, a divorcee with children, no matter how attractive or beautiful he/she is, 9 out of 10 women/men run faster than the wind once they knew it. And I don’t blame them, why start with somebody who has baggage and is considered to be a damaged goods lol.
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I agree with Amparo Kia - being a divorcee of either sex in HK seems a total no-no. To a degree we are emotionally damaged - I think most divorcees are. That said, I would much prefer to meet a divorced women - preferably with children - as I think her expectations would be much more realistic.
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amparo kia and dr strangelove~
come on!!! baggage, damaged goods? emotionally damaged, no-no?
just because you have been divorced does not mean you become these things!!! if you however, feel that way about yourself, you will put that vibe out there and people will run--because you have low self-worth and that is not fun to be around. do not be the victim!
i divorced after arrivng in hk--almost eight years ago. i have two kids that stayed here with me. i have never in my life had so much attention. and LOTS of dates. i remarried just about a year ago to a man that had never been married and has no children. girls were lining up for him. he was an amazing catch. and you know what--i deserve him! and he loves me for me. divorced, single, widowed. they are just labels.
i left a very unhappy marrige and became a very happy, fun-loving mother, friend, woman, and now wife.
9 out of 10 women/men DO NOT run faster than the wind.
give yourself a break!
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I started to feel dismay! I had boyfriend before had been together for 9years, then we broke up 2 years ago cause one day I said to him that I want to live with him! A year later, I had another boyfriend we broke up 8months ago! Cause he doesn't want to share his inner feeling with me! Both of them are white. Well these 2 times of experience trained myself become toughter.... Recently, my 2nd ex call me out for dinner, then he invited me to his flat right after the meal. We didn't have sex but kissing and touching each others. Since then I didnt hear anything from him now is more than 2 weeks. I feel like a fool! I wanted to tell him that my feeling is not toys!
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Thank you cookie! What I can say except share my stories to my female friends. I dont understand during the meal why he said he wants to keep me as a friend, of course more than a friend. If he really want me, he would have called me! I'm a warm, honest and kind heart person! Unfortunately, most guys around me just looking for fun, one night stand... Very sad! But I wouldn't let them ruin my life....
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madame X and notaeuropean, thanks for the encouragement. madameX, you are "the lucky one" and good for you. It is always a pleasure to hear a positive story.
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The real problem is these HK women don't even know what they really want.... they want Asians - korean, japanese or chinese but not Indians, Caucasians - if it is they don't even mind the age barrier...
They want someone stable, repsonsible yet witty, silly, humourous, etc... the list goes on..... The fundamental problem is "as one of my friends used to say... the HK women doesn't belong anywhere... They are neither so western nor so traditional like the main landers... They just dont know who they are....
As you can see (if you lived enough in HKG) you can only see HK women speaking in English on the island side but on KLN side... its a rare sight.... with the pressure of maintaining a life style they never thought of finding someone and when they do its with those requirements...
The local men are not treated well by these SO DEMANDING WOMEN, so they have GF's or even wives in mainland where they are pampered... Who has the time to make these HK women happy.... Even if you did so, will these HK women ever be happy???? Never... Ever.. these women have more "WANTS" than "NEED"....
Good Luck HK Women and yes, there are MILLIONS OF CASH RICH MAIN LANDERS ARE THERE WAITING.... BUT THEY HAVE ONLY ONE REQUIRMENT... YOU CAN ONLY BE THE MISTRESS AND NEVER BE THE WIFE.... ARE YOU READY?
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No matter how the odds are stacked up, the unfortunately reality that your friends have to face ODs is, HK women, in general are not very appealing to the eye.
Personality, education is all very well, but like the well worn and polite phrase used when recruiting flight attendants, they need to be at least not-unpleasant in appearance.
I've travelled all around Asia and the truth is, take a walk down any street in HK, most HK women aren't that pleasant to look at.
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squidburger, i could not agree more with you!
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i think the 'evidence' OP gave initially is pretty skewed.... the reason why you get:
# - Men Wanting Women (82)
# - Women Wanting Men (213)
is largely because more women will sign up for these sites than men in the first place!....
women are more likely to agonise about it. men think about it too but mainly on a friday night and then they see who is within arms reach and go from there.
the other numbers: 1000 women to 700 men only means there are 1.43 women for each man.... not exactly a huge ratio....
this issue is further magnified because a lot of these women are really desperate and the men can sense desperation and neediness from a million miles away
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Interesting post.
Recently I was thinking about the problem with Chinese woman. They are filled with traditional chinese values set for women to respect, care and tolerate men, and be family oriented, hence are less focused on their own interest and happiness. Especially for these career-wise successful women, they also have the traditional side of wanting to settle down and having a family but simply couldn't find compatible men because their over-focus on family and negligence of their own happiness make them very unattractive to men. Obviously, modern men do not value these bullshit traditional values at all, especially amongst these sophisticated men.
This is why a lot of women gotsh*tty relationship and marriage. This is why they are more on this website. and it simply boosts men's ego more.
Men and women are created with different, unfair emotion structure where women naturally have more needs and are more inclined to give, which make them easily hurt. On top of that, Chinese females are also destructed by their society through the way they were raised...
The only way out for Chinese women is to not easily fall for anyone, try to enjoy the fishes in the pond like men do. Bitches are always winners in modern days. right?
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Is that why upscale sophisticated toy industry is booming now ? Esp. after the Sex & The City episodes !
Happy Toy-Playing Ladies ; )
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Understand what you're saying Chocolate but rather than the selfless, caring and considerate qualities that you say they possess, most men I've spoken to here, expat and local alike, instead say that local women are money hungry, self-focused, hard-nosed individuals that put themselves first before the guy and expect to rule the relationship.
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"instead say that local women are money hungry, self-focused, hard-nosed individuals that put themselves first before the guy and expect to rule the relationship". Unfortunately Squid, in general, the quote is not far from the truth, but my query is - is it only the HK local women?? I see it as a general mindset/attitude of all women regardless of race and place. Maybe I should say, this is the trend..:)
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squidburger, I'm speaking based on my sample of many well educated mainland women. They have their own career, make as much money as they need, well-mannered, look great, know how to color their lives, in their late twenties ... They want an equally well-established, maybe rich man because they have compatible life experience and certain commonality with the men so their relationship could be more solid.
The type of women you mentioned are so rare, unless those men only hunt around those so-called gold-digger, which I rarely see in my life. Where did the men find such women? maybe they spend too much time in pubs meeting beautiful girls with unknown background?
By the way, don't know if you guys are expat or local, I want to share a bit more on local woman mentality based on my observation: sometimes women want rich men not because they need the men's money to spend, it's more about their pursuit of "good" things and proof that they could get them. They grow up being taught to work hard to get a good job in government or to become rich. Being powerful or being rich are considered to be glorious. Same mindset applies to finding a husband. Finding a rich or compatible guy can satisfy their ego. However, as they mature, they understand what they really want and what truly gives them happiness.
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Chocolate2009. Just as I suspected. Most women get guys to show off to other women. It's a bit like dressing up I suppose. All very sad but understandable in an evolutionary sense. And this is how TX Cowboy makes good. He just gives them what they want and pulls out at the last minute before moving onto the next. Tsk tsk. You only have yourselves to blame.
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I was referring to local HK women not so much mainland women Chocolate, and I thought you were too, don't know how the focus got switched. But yes, what you say is also what I've suspected all along. And that fits right in with the fact that, from what I've seen, local HK women really are more concerned about themselves than their man.
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merm
14 yrs ago
squidburger: 'I've travelled all around Asia and the truth is, take a walk down any street in HK, most HK women aren't that pleasant to look at.'
Curious where the prettiest women are in Asia?
You know what, when it comes to women, you and my ex Filipino helper certainly have something in common. She swears Filipino women are the prettiest but she's only been to Hong Kong.
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really depends on your own aesthetics merm, and I'm sure you have your own opinions. but you can get a sense of the the kind of appearance women from a particular country have from any tabloid or fashion magazine on the newsstands or in bookstores. if you prefer a more photogenic look though not necessarily even beautiful, well the general consensus among the people i've spoken to is that it's not to be found here.
But I did travel to Suzhou one New Year's and was amazed. Never been to the Philippines so I can't comment on your ex-helper's assertion.
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I will be really controvertial now.
Many HK and Shanghai women I have met are skinny, pale, and status driven.
Most of the of the filipans I have met have been curvy (boobs yay!), brown, and just fun loving people. Even chinese country girls have more joie de vivre.
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hey tigerbay: Why you didn't marry a Filipina ? Or if you had a second chance, whould you marry a filipina or chinese ?
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If I could do it all again, I would marry the person. Same as I did before.
Could be caucasion, Asian, or African. Could be Filipina.
My wife is a Chinese country girl, not skinny, ghostly pale or status driven. Great fun, and a good set of values for life. I would probably marry her again, given the choice.
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Bingo... so not all chinese girls are skinny, pale, or status driven !!
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I never said that all Chinese girls are.
My comment was about many of the HK and Shanghai women that I have met.
Not all of the HK and Shanghai women I have met are like this. But many of those that I have known through work, or socially, are.
I posted because this thread was starting more towards what people find attractive. I am sure there are lots of men out there who like skinny, pale and status driven. I am not one of them.
We are all different, both men and women.
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Don't know any one that likes skinny, pale and status driven, well maybe one
Have to agree with tiger here. Don't think anyone's said all Chinese girls are skinny, pale and status driven. Just the one's in HK. And Shanghai apparently, but wouldn't know about that. And have to agree with the comment about mainland Chinese girls. They do seem more full of life.
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I have to agree with Squidburger. There are more Asian women dating Western Guys than Asian guys dating Western woman - that I have seen by far! And you have to admit that Asian Fever MEANS Asian Women dating Western Guys and not the other way around. Which squidburger is correct that in general, Chinese do not have a tall figure as western guys - 5'9" is the average for Chinese guys.
And I am from Canada, all my Canadian Born female friends are seen as FAT to these local Hong Kong girls. Which is ridiculous to me! Cuz I spend all my life in Canada and women to me should have MEAT on them! But the locals just want to be skinny, pale, NO FIGURES! Well .. maybe not the Northern China gals ... but the Hong Kong local girls just want to be as skinny as a pair of chopsticks! And yes, I rather date a Western gal (more independent and NOT submissive) or Overseas Born with western values than LOCAL HK ones ...
Squid: The Mainland Chinese Girls - the more NORTHERN they are, their figures are not skinny but more curvy. The Southern ones - Hong Kong for example, are more skinny.
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anony
14 yrs ago
This is funny for me to read I've got to honest and tell you all this.
I'm an Irish-Americian born in the US. I've dated all types and can't say I'm drawn to any "types". But it seems HK is a great place for a single guy to go to get laid. But not a great place for a single guy to find a life-partner.
I live in Chicago and it's really a great place to live. Plenty of every type of person to date and meet if that's your thing. I think these HK women should travel and find someone they want if there not finding what they want at home.
From all these posts it sounds like people are not opening up their hearts as much as using their brains to size people up and decide it they are what they are looking for.
I don't care where you live, if that's how you are going about finding someone your going to be alone or in a sad relationship.
As for all the hooking up... it's obviously missing any passion and that's just a waste. I'm all for meeting a new tryst but trust me it going to be passionate and steamy. If it's not then it's a waste of time. (that's what's wrong with one-night stands vs finding someone that wants to bonk your brains out and eat naked till you can go again.)
All the rest of this crap people posted is just sad. All too subjective and way too targeted to wealth, power and personal hangup's. My advise is go travel and see how the rest of the world does it and take something away from it. If you don't broaden your own mind it's a waste to live on.
I was thinking of takeing a international job in the future and I'm not too thrilled with my prospects in a place like HK with the content on here.
My two cents.
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It is not just good experiences that broaden the mind. As you suggest the wealth, power and hang-ups all contribute to life's interesting offerings.
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>>But it seems HK is a great place for a single guy to go to get laid. But not a great place for a single guy to find a life-partner.<<
I agree 100% with that statement. It is very, very difficult. Casual flings are easy (if eventually tiring after the umpteenth time)) but finding a partner in HK is more difficult. In the end you accept it and cease looking. I am so sick of easy, casual flings that sustained periods of celibacy often seem more satisfying.
I think the danger is that you can become so used to being without a relationship and focusing on earning money, traveling etc that you cannot be bothered to have a relationship. Everything in all other areas of your life is going your way so why compromise?
I do not know for sure, but it seems to me that this is also the way many women in HK feel. I am beginning to understand that now and see their point of view.
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Good for you Dr SL, seems you have done the full circle. Not many men around that come out the other side. I know one guy at it for 17 years and counting.
On the subject of life-partners, there are plenty of women here keen to marry a western boy, and many men happy to accept the slim, pretty, smiling girl that waits on you like a servant, laughs at your dumb jokes and gives an awesome bj (at least until you are married lol), and it is up to you to assess your values and prioritize the characteristics you want in a life-partner. If that is enough then come on over. If you want someone who doesn't see you as a wallet or someone who can discuss world events over the Sunday papers perhaps steer clear.
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Wow - what a post, TT! You make some valid points. Some of them even made me chuckle.
Have done the 'marrying a young pretty SEA girl who gave an awesome bj thing' (she really did) but sadly, yes, even post divorce I am still an ATM.
Right now, meeting a financially independent woman who can discuss 'world events' over the Sunday papers would be more my preference. Hell, if she could also give a wicked bj and be willingly to take long weekends aways in SEA from time to time I'd be there in a heartbeat.
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I am glad it's working out for you, notaeuropean. I guess when marriages end we all have to take a long hard look at ourselves (and our former partners) and try not to repeat the same mistakes. Never any harm to try a different approach.
After my marriage ended I must have gone through around 35 - 40 pretty and slim SEA girls 15-20 years younger in the space of 3 years and you know what? I was bored with all of them after a few weeks. I just can't be bothered anymore. I really cannot understand why I persisted for so long pursuing a carbon copy of the first one. Had a lot of fun but it was very empty and not very fulfilling and I guess I grew out of it.
Don't get me wrong - I admit behind the anonymity of this site that I avail of Wan Chai and massage parlors and the occasional fling but I have finally learned to say 'no' and I'll be damned if I will put myself back in the same situation as before.
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notaeuropean, maybe you are dating Dr SL's ex ha ha. You could pass on your cerebral ex life partner's details to him in return. But seriously, good for you, the world needs more happy people.
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@Justin Credible: suicidal Polish potter. LOL
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Pizzaace. Many a good tune played on an old fiddle. Personally, I think the younger women are more likely to be annoying.
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First ask yourself:
Did you ill -treated him?
Had you tried control him by sex?
Had you offer conditional sex?
Are you sex cool type or even hate sex?
Had you gain overweight or body odour?
Did yoy show discouraging face upon his sex request?
Trust you could find answer above.
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dgp
9 yrs ago
Problem with this site is you send a message to a woman and they never answer it
so i am not sure why they bother to place an add
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It is a real problem nowadays)) In many countries same situation=))
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dgp
9 yrs ago
Anna
so i am not sure why they adveritse here for what reason hahhaha
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dgp,
Agreed)) For example, when I wanted to find my beloved I used special services (as kovla.com etc).
Sitting here will no give results))
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dgp
9 yrs ago
thank you for the advise hahaha
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