I just want to know if i made a mistake

I knew this guy for several months and went out from time to time without going beyond friendship. It happened at the last moment we saw each other that he kissed me and then i ended up spending a night with him. I normally don't do this, but I like him and knew that it could be the last time we saw each other. Now I kinda regret - I shouldn't have let intimacy happen given the relationship seemingly had little future, which may lead him to forget about me more quickly ... What you guys reckon?

Thanks. Well, i don't think i am anxious or he rejects... we are still in touch, on friendly terms...

i thought i was pretty cool about it, but again I found that I am just being a typical woman - i mean i started to like him more after our intimacy. I know that we are in different cities, of different nationality and personality, and under stress and confusion brought by the financial crisis... all these external factors are not pointing to a promisting future of our relationship...

I just don't know what to pursue and whether I should pursue. I want to be cool, but found it a bit hard to move on... think i am just too emotional and sometimes can't let go...

I reckon LOVE is a heavy word, but I don't have any doubt about the romantic feelings between us. I could tell that he liked me but we have kept it platonic till the very last minute when it was clear that I would be gone. At least at my side, it was a natural response at that spur of moment. I just don't know how he felt...

He did not call, neither did I. Before, he was the one taking initiative, asking me out, etc. But now I am the one writing him emails - though he did drop me a well-put email after we spent the night and I suppose I should write him one after I moved to a new place. The bigger concern to me is that his email response seems very friendly but lack of intimacy, to the extent makes me wonder if he is scaling back and if I made a mistake. (But on the other hand, what could motivate him to move forward, especially he is at the verge of losing his job and doesn't know where to go?...) Well, I know of him as a spontaneous person who would not think too much about this and it is just me pondering...

If I would pursue, the only reason is that we both like each other (at least for a period of time), which is just so rare to me. I have been single for 6 years, having fancied one or two and never failed in attracting admirers, but hardly found anyone whose feelings I would echo.

BUT I still don't know him enough and it seems that he is an outgoing adventurer and I am a sensitive idealist. Despite that we are in the same career field and both have messy apartments, we have too much actually diverging...

OptionFear, life is too short to try to understand everything.


Sometime you need to trust your feelings and take the plunge. You obviously miss him and would like to move this relationship forward. If so, just tell him without hesitation. Tell him that you really enjoyed spending the night with him and that you are glad he took the initiative and kissed you. And then let destiny decide (neither you or him can do much about external forces like loosing a job or the economy).


And if it does not work, at least you did try your best. It is better to be disappointed than to be sorry not to have tried.

thanks... I think I'd better focus on my own stuff and let future decide itself...