Posted by
doncella
19 yrs ago
I guess ... wrong people wrong add...
wrong continent ooops...
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Although I've never actually placed an Ad in Personals I've thought about it often. I admire people who have placed Ads - it's a brave leap. I think that describing yourself accurately is one of the toughest things you can do, because the way people perceive you is mostly so different from the way you perceive yourself. I was once on a personal development programme during which at one point we had to identify a particular strength in another course participant. If I remember correctly, most people were surprised at the strengths other people identified in them - I remember I was quite shocked..!!!
So where do you meet and hook up...?? Wouldn't it be great if there was a reliable answer to that one..!! I've never been successful when I made a conscious effort to find someone. It has only ever happened when I've not 'been looking'. I met my current g/f through someone who I had not seen for a long time and bumped into quite by accident - I had been out for a night on the town and called into one of my favourite watering holes for a quiet drink before going home. They happened to be there at the same time. Pure chance. As John Lennon sang: "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans". (With thanks to JC for correcting my recollection of the lyrics...!!! :-)!!)
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Maybe they should ask a friend to tell them what they see as their strong points. It would have to be a real friend, though, not an 'acquaintance', since it would not be done under the guidance of a coach. Then they would be able to word their ad with a greater chance of accuracy according to the eyes of others. After all, that's effectively what we did on the course...!
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chances are the ads are just a hoax, to get responses for laughs and giggles. I remember seeing one that said, "Looking for stupid rich man."
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M.N. -- I did the AX Personals in 2004. I ran two ads simultaneously. One got about 3 responses [the one with more "concrete" details] and the other garnered me about 2 dozen responses.
I never thought that a FEMALE would get responses that were in the "I want a Green Card" category... but that's what most of them were!!
As for being bludgeoned by the single-mom "disease;" try seeing how quickly a man will run while claiming he's been deceived because you DIDN'T tell him you had two dependents at home!
In the dating world of Beijing, it seems that weight/fitness and children-at-home are make-or-break criteria.
I managed ONE date from it and one good sports friend -- for only a few months.
My verdict-- it was worth it, just. The "you've got mail" surge of emotions was so harshly doused by an email full of poor English and overt propositions: "We could meet for language exchange and then practice not talking until breakfast" type ideas.
Sigh.
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Okay enough with the horror stories. Anyone with some great stories from personal ads? Anyone.....
Actually never looks in personal ads myself except for fun. I really enjoyed the the ones in the alternative magazines. Like W-M; M-W; M-M, W-W and of course the one I like to read the best..."Others".
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"Wanted: Way Cool TGF [Token Gay Friend]
Two BSPs [Boring Straight People] ISO TGF to replace recently departed TGF and enhance our BS [Boring Straight] lives. Must know coolest people, have access to coolest clubs. Must be drug-friendly and sexually promiscuous. Give us free advice re: fashion, interior decorating, and dating; keep us updated on the latest gossip, and sales. Please let us live vicariously through you! Think of it as charity work. No pic required - we know you're way more stylin' than we are."
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;-) Mano Negra, good luck, and let us know if you do find your TGF. they really are great to have. somehow they seem to have zero baggage vs straight friends, and they really know how to live in the moment and enjoy life to the fullest.
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I did the personals in UK after I got divorced. I have never wasted so much time in my life. Over a period of time I met about 20 woman, only one I found interesting. Well that is not quite true. Quite a few were interesting, in a pathalogical way. There are some very damaged and/or unlpleasant people out there (in the UK singles world).
However the internet dating scene was much more fun. You get to see a persons photo first. You can tell a lot from a photo. You also have a profile on which to dwell.
Then you chat on line, and follow up or not.
I also did the singles scene. Joined a club, got to make lots of friends (M&F), as well as dating a couple of times.
The only one I wouldn't recommed is the personals
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so many mixed feelings about Personnels.
I placed one before, not because i'm desperate. but because i want to explore the chance of meeting someone out there via this way. But i cannot control or limit the number of people who would mistaken the ad to be of a sexhunt. i cannot control people who thinks that i'm desperate. But it didn't occurred to these "on the lookout for sex" people that behind this ad, there is a genuine person who is truly looking for a travel mate, a chit chat friend, same hobby mate, or a partner.
so i guess, when a person place an ad, he or she must know what goals is to be achieve and select the replies accordingly.
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beenused
That is why the internet thing is better as you can post a profile with exactly what you expect. And you can view the otehr persons profile.
Not foolproof, and can be abused, but is another level of confidence.
The singles clubs are good if you are over 30, in some scenes over 40. You regularly meet and make friends. Friends first then see what develops.
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I did the personal things a couple years ago, only people I met were nice and honest girls looking for company in this sometimes lonesome city... would recommend it to anyone. Hmm, maybe time I try it again now I think about it. The chance of meeting somebody in Pac Coffee is zero.
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