Posted by
MS123
16 yrs ago
I was in love with a married man and already separated from him but I would say he is the one I love most in my life. Time goes by, my heart is still very pain and miss him every day & moment which I can't deny but I can't go back to him, I know! Could someones give me ideas how to get rid of this feeling?
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try ur best to accept another man..try ur best to know some new guys...try ur best to stay ur eyes on ur hobbys...
good luck!
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I was so sorry to read your pain.
I wish I will have the permission to help you.
One of the thing is a great seminar that is called ”Recovery after divorce and separation” (May be too early or too painful, but it is a good source of "others like me" who are all going through it at the same time.
The Recovering from Divorce and Separation is run over six evenings from 7.15pm to 9.45pm. It is both practical and supportive, giving any separated or divorced person the opportunity to discuss the challenges they are facing and the tools to deal with these effectively. This course is conducted by people who understand the pain caused by divorce or separation, and is for any person who is currently going through this pain or has been separated or divorced in the past. This course offers an opportunity to learn how to deal with the pain of the past and look forward to rebuilding life.
The course is for any person who is separated, or who is currently going through a divorce or is already divorced, either recently or at any time in the past.
Topics covered include:
• Facing the effects of separation and divorce
• The importance of good communication
• Resolving conflict
• Forgiveness
• Divorce and the legal issues
• Parenting issues Moving forward with hope
Each evening begins with supper followed by a talk, with opportunities for discussion in small groups. The small groups are led by people who have gone through divorce themselves. The setting is welcoming, relaxed and unthreatening.
the charges are so low (400 for the whole 6 weeks) and it definitely worth it.
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MS123
16 yrs ago
Hi tjbrinkmann, thanks for your advice! I meet the married man sometimes as we are working in the same building. My heart crying hard everytime meeting him in lobby, lift or escalator. I would like to try to know new guy but you know it is difficult as the ratio of man & woman is.... :-(
It sounds good to attend the course, lllsss! Would you send me the website? Thanks friends!!
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hi,poor girl MS123...
if u are not enough strong ,if u are same as me--a girl,a woman,i think it is better that u NOT touch a married man..
please do not worried,i think u will feel better,after u meeting ur girlfriends or joining some parties,and u know more new friends,i trust u will leave from now-bad -life,bad feelings from this married man...ur life new page will soon open.....
good luck!
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FKKC
16 yrs ago
Just tell yourself he's not your property, someone else. You are trepassing and when getting caught, you will be punish.
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sicn
16 yrs ago
I agree with LGMV. Try to give your metal activity a break. Think less and act more. Put your physical health and look as priority of your life. Intense exercise, healthy good food will improve sleeping quality and help to have a better outlook on life.
Also active social life and try to be more open of your heart to opportunities will help heal that emotional scar.
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maxis
16 yrs ago
I love my neighbour's new lamborgini
Man, it is great.
Buit it is not mine and I can't have it or touch it, and even looking at it too much is not healthy. So I don't, and so sholdn't you.
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MS123
16 yrs ago
Dear friends, I thought my topic is not interesting and nobody would pity this woman who in love with a married man. What so touching me is your sincerity & love that make me feel I'm loved. Being apart for 6 months and sometimes meet him in the building that makes me in tears as always. I pray when feel pain, look at his pictures fm my mobile which can comfort me a bit, press unsend message to him & so on. I've ever thought to suicide but didn't put into action as I do believe I deserve to have my LOVE.
I'm glad having this chance to share my feelings to you all, hid for so long time & am going to be crazy! You know it is difficult to tell anyone about "in love with married man".
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Dear MS123,
I am so sorry to hear that you are so much in pain. As you know,I was or maybe am still in love with someone who isn't available.I was in hell,three times all night long I couldn't stop crying;I was thinking of him many times per day; I tried to date some other guys,I had fun and smiled until they wanted to take another step,I missed him and wish those guys were him...
Why I was stuck with him for so long instead of moving on? I thought he was my Mr.Perfect:We were really connected,he was so sweet and caring and loving,he is ambitious,hard working.He is absolutely gorgeous,lots of ppl said he almost looks like a famous movie star who is the most sexy man in the world.Our personalities fit and we had the same dreams and he always told me he missed me and loved me so so much,he talked again and again with his mother to try to get some supports for us...
However,he is just not a free person and he just couldn't be with me totally.
Luckily I don't feel pain anymore,tell you what I did:
I made myself clear that there is no more chance for us,I already tried to be patient and tolerant so much and I couldn't take it any longer.So I met him for the last time,we cuddled and cried for hours and then I let him leave.I thought that's something I want to memory if one day I look back I could say:That time I was in love like a fool;
Then I left his country after two days;
I try to think more about his flaws in stead of the so called "perfect",for instance,he is really weak and coward sometimes,he hurt me, he might fall in love with someone else even if we were together, so suddenly he is not that charming anymore,everything is peaceful now...
I know it's extremely hard if you still have chance to see him,especially you don't know when.You might only meet him for few seconds but the rest of the day you will be really suffering. So if you are not even scared of dying,what else are you afraid of? Go someplace you would never meet him again,and try to do whatever would make you feel better you can imagine.
Best of luck!
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MS123
16 yrs ago
Hi gerling,
Thanks for your words! I feel that we were having almost the same experience in love with a Mr. Perfect who looks like a movie star. So I believe you can really understand my feeling.
I have tried to find another job in order to leave the building, however it is difficult during this economic downturn. I can't stop working as I'm a main support of family. On the other hand, I have to be strong and overcome the ghost of my heart. I believe one day I will be able to expel this married man from my mind and my heart won't feel pain again when see him. It may take 1 or 2 or 3 year(s) but I'm trying to enjoy and learn from this journey!
Hi Salvator Femme, thanks for your words too! However I would like to clarify that my love to him is not for lust.
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MS123
Perhaps every time you look at him you could imagine how much pain and suffering you would cause his wife if she ever found out that you were sleeping with him. Think about the ugly divorce that they would go through and how miserable he would be as a result. Think about how incredibly selfish and hurtful you are and how you lack any compassion for anyone but yourself. Maybe then you might get over him.
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Good luck to you lovely, but as my wise mamma always told me, don't go where even angels fear to tread!!!! Unless you are ready to deal with the consequences!!! Be the strong smart woman you are, everyone plays the fool at some point, put it behind you chalk it up to experience and look for someone who is physically and emotionally available for you.
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MS123
16 yrs ago
Thanks Pumkin & Glowingesperasza!
Of course I know how ugly to be with a married man, so I left him. I never requested him to leave his wife or never meant to hurt her.
I had ever thought to wait him until one day he is realy available for me but I know this day may come 10, 20 or 30 years after or never come to me... but it is my true feelings to him!
I haven't met him recently, hope I won't see him until my pain is totally recovered.
Thanks again for your concern!
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MS123
16 yrs ago
Haven't met him for a month! Wanted to sms him but hardly control myself not to do such stupid thing again. Recently, I go to office earlier, out for lunch and leave office in irregular time in order to avoid seeing him again. However, I know my heart is still thinking of him so much!
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MS123
16 yrs ago
Not that easy as I have his phone number in my mind. :-(
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MS123,
Of course it's not easy and it's not his phone number also in your mind, his status as a married man also need to keep that in mind... Good luck for letting go the past..
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MS123
16 yrs ago
Thanks whiteorchid! You reminded me of the truth that I have to bear in mind as well.
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MS123
16 yrs ago
He is older than I for 12 years but handsome & sexy in MY eyes as always! Just met him at lobby of the building at lunch time, I pretended not seeing him but actually crying from the bottom of my heart! :-(
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if he's REALLY INTO YOU, he would've left his wife for you. But sad but true, he loves and values his wife more.
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I'm not defending MS123 ...but she never threatening someone life using other male service like my lawyer gf did to me.. (I wonder why I have to choose stupid lawyer with no moral at the 1st place).
MS123, just move on with your life as I said. He just not into you. Same as my lawyer, just using his gf for his pleasure and will not marry her for any reasons...
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MS123
16 yrs ago
Thank you to you all, friends! How important of having your advices during my so upset period. I have to admit that I'm too weak, I could be killed easily by him! Frankly, he is not that handsome & sexy but in my eyes...everything of his is perfect! I think I'm too naive & silly but am just feeling so so so pain right now!!!
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Try to meet new friends MS123. I didn't mean, you need go into another relationship immediately. What I mean, change your life concentration from him to other things. Expanding your social circle, making your life more different and a bit busy. Believe me, you will find more fun in the life. You should be find another suitable guy in the future...
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PMH
16 yrs ago
hi hope u r feelin better. pain for once n it wl save yr future. wz him, do u see future? "no" right? so move on. i know u can do it. cheers!
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MS123
16 yrs ago
Thanks for your advice! I do believe meeting new friends would help! However, my social circle is quite narrow....home->company->home-company->home. most of time staying at home. I don't have friend as I had spent quite lot of time in church in my youth, hence I declined all invitations from friends & classmates at that time. After a period of time that no one called me again and then 10 years past, I gave up to go to the church and suddenly found that no friend around me. I do feel boring but seems that no place to go and not easy to meet new friends. It may be the reason why my pain has been last so long!
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