Posted by
porsche997
16 yrs ago
It seems that it is becoming increasingly more difficult for successful, financially independent females/males to find the right person, especially in HK. Although this phenomenon seems to be all across Asia as well. Given that in HK, the female:male ratio is also increasing does not help the matter much. Over the past decade, females have become more career-focused, climbing the corporate ladder and generating wealth. The result of this is that they have become much more independent (all relative to say 20-30 years ago).
However, now that the career side of things is stable and the now independent and successful female wishes to find the right man, suddenly they find that there isn't much of a supply.
I bring this topic up as I am seriously thinking about setting up a very select group of successful, single professionals who are looking to find the right man or woman.
What do you think?
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flashback, great point. what if I were to pre-screen everyone first? That's what I meant by a "select group".
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I think I have to qualify what I mean by "pre-screened". The fact that this is a select group of individuals, I just want to ensure that people are serious, professional and are genuinely wanting to find the right other half, as opposed to using the platform just to get to know people on a superficial level. I have no intention to judge anyone, with the exception that they are genuine people.
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hahah Is LGMV alluding to perhaps some Aryan dating site? Sounds like good times to me.
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About me: Single Blonde Haired, Blue Eyed Male. Enjoy long marche---walks, I mean, on the beach in Army boots.
You are: Single Blonde Haired, Blue Eyed Female. (No Exceptions.)
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That's the problem. People, in particular professional single women, are finding it increasingly difficult to "find their own level".
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MJ1
16 yrs ago
There is no guarantee that two "professionals" are compatible. Therefore, the best way to go about this is to have an open mind, with no "check-list" or "criteria" to begin with. Just enjoy the person for who they are...
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what is the deal here Porshe997? If 'professionals' want to find themselves partners why they have to be 'screen' by you first? Why don't they just go for speed-dating? At least you won't get an email saying "sorry sir you are failed our standard"
Im sure the screening costs them money too? You are not doing 'the screening' for nothing?
If u think this is such a good business plan - i suggest you dont go for it cuz no one wants to know themselves are no up to the / your standard.
Good luck and hope u find another buz plan.
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Porsche,
They have Go-kon parties in Japan which could be a great concept. Basically the same number of men as women are invited to a shared dinner at someone's house. The selection is usually done by people inviting contacts that the others don't know and hope that people get match up. It's very popular there and I know a couple of people who met that way!
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Thanks matches.
I've never heard of Go-kon but it seems like the "Table for Six" concept, which is very similar. My primary aim is to get like minded people together as opposed to some sort of mass dating concept. Others on this thread have mistaken what I meant by screening people. The word "screen" is just used for lack of a better word. For example, a 40 year old single female my not be too interested in a long term relationship with a 25 year old male who only has 3 years of work experience (although not impossible).
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If we mean working single women and men who make lots and lots of money as professional, I assume, I may have already found a common interest group of people. So, the idea of setting up a social group with like minded can be started at this very simple definition. But, if you, porche997, define 'professional' in various and changeable ways, it is really hard to find one, not to mention the create a ground for these like minded 'professional' to meet up for a simple sharing same problem social gathering and discussion.
I found many of my good friends from this asiaxpat website. We have different jobs and professions in their own way of making a living but we do share the same problem of making good friends who are not superficial. These friends of mine are rather diverse (e.g, males, females, gays, lesbians, africans, indians, southeast asians, chinese, spanards, north europeans, etc.).
So, I guess, the next question is what exactly you want, particularly from 'others', let's say from friends before a boyfriend, and imagine if they can meet your expectations.
I consider myself as 'successful.' I make a considerably good living. My husband is way much younger than I am. We don't make the same level of income and we don't speak the same 'professional' languages (he speaks his business language while I speak my artistic language). He's a european and I'm an asian. He makes less while I make more money. We've been married for nearly 5 years and see no differences between us because we are just simple a woman and a man. So, why would we complicate our lives by adding more and more 'superficial' from this modernity?
I normally don't write or post comment on many threads but I just feel like, maybe, there should be good stories as advice since this forum is named that way.
So, I guess, my point is if we don't exclude the 'others.' we will be included in anywhere and everywhere.
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Yes, we should not exclude anyone. But when we open up to everyone, a lot of time is wasted. And time is the most important element. In addition to this, as time goes on, there will be even less choices as there will certainly not be more.
Hence perhaps a more focused approach would be the better solution, with help from someone in finding the right man/woman.
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It is getting much harder to meet people. Not just in Asia but globally. Mostly due to changed lifestyles.
I think Go-Kon relies on a network.
The table for 6 idea sounds good, but only if you can rely on a collection of 'suitable' dinner guests. That is why you really need a network, to select compatible diners. IMHO the idea of being stuck for an evening of dinner with a real mis-match is terrifiying ;-)
Anthing else like starting a selective club will be re-inventing the wheel. Especially now there is internet dating. I have seen several articles in the last two years that show it is loosing its stigma status.
Many people have tried internet dating but won't admit to it. Many people also find 'suitable' dates. If you apply some common sense you can avoid the 'crazzies'. And lets face it, many of us have dated at least one 'whack job' that we have met through the normal rigmarole.
At the end of the day it is a numbers game, and we perhaps are more selective than our parents or grandparents had to be. So we need to meet more people. Perhaps looking for more opportunities to meet more people (not in bars) could be more fruitful than trying to weed out as many people as possible. The risk is you filter out a few good 'uns because they don't fit some arbitrary profile.
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Thanks for the recent good advice everyone. Mermaid, is it as difficult in Shanghai to find suitable partners as it is in Hong Kong?
I am serious about setting up a network/group/club (whatever you want to call it) based on my initial idea (see beginning of thread). I really do not need that many "members", perhaps 30 men and 30 females. I have a lot of potential female members but need some more work on the males. I do have some ideas in mind on how to grow the male group though. Whether the approach or service is to be a "selected" one or one that is more wide open is debatable and different people have different thoughts. But based on what I can see and my personal thought is to have a more "focused" approach. Remember, what I am trying to set up is not a mass dating approach but one that is more targeted beacuse my target group is not people in their 20s but more mature people. Also as Tigerbay says, to weed out the "crazies" etc and to basically find genuine people, people who may have everything else but a suitable partner. You'd be surprised at how many of these "professionals" there are out there.
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I am not in the least surprised about how many professionals like this there are out there. I meet them all the time. Men and women. I meet them in their work capacity, they have no social lives.
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Sorry about that Mermaid. Tigerbay, is the problem in SH as serious as it is in HK? I would venture to say that relatively speaking, there are more available professional males in SH than in HK? I travel to SH frequently and sense that it is.
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There are a lot of available men in Shanghai, but many of them have yellow fever.
There are also many professional Chinese women, who speak perfect English, who earn good money, who have concentrated on their careers. A lot of them are attractive and well dressed, But they are over 30, and too busy to go out.
Many Chinese parents also want their boy to marry a 20 year old, even if the son is 40. Many Chinese men won't date a woman who earns more money than they do.
There are also a lot of good western women who are overlooked, because they feel they cannot compete with yellow fever.
However there are expat men, who are looking for expat women but don't know where to start looking. There are also those men who do not really bother, because of too many horror stories about Shanghai girls geting thier hooks into a guy.
The bars are full of hookers, and there is also a new phenomenon of white trash (3rd wave of expats).
The networking events are mostly people trying to sell you something. Usually a business plan.
So where is one to go.
It does make the internet look like a safe bet.
But good luck with what you are trying to do Porsche
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Thanks for the info on SH tigerbay.
LGMV, you've got it all wrong. What I mean by professionals is that the people are not teeny boppers or young kids in their 20s just looking for a cheap and easy date. I am looking to explicitly screen these out. Professional, in this case has nothing to do with profession. It's meant to mean a stable career and it does not mean wealth at all.
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I do think that one needs similarities for a relationship to work. So, I am not totally against the idea of a site "just for professionals" and there does seem to be a void in the market for such a service as most dating services here seems to stop membership at 35 for women.
However, I don't know what porsche997 means by "crazies". I mean who is anyone to judge that. When it comes to personality, it is all about chemistry and one person's crazy could be another person's sweetness.
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Thanks tutorjoanna. The term "crazies" was used by another person in the thread. I agree with what you said. Again, I do not intend to judge anyone. It's just getting people together who have the same needs (finding a stable and serious partner). Trying to help people who are genuine in their needs. Understanding their needs with no prejudice and no discrimination in any way, shape or form. I guess the key word here is "understanding" as opposed to screen or judge.
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MJ1
16 yrs ago
I think there are already plenty of sites that offer such match making / networking etc services. I don't think your so called filtering/"understanding" really adds any value. For such sites, it all comes down to the photo(s) posted of themselves. If they are good looking, they will get hits, if they are not or have no photo, then they won't get a look in, regardless of how "professional" they are.
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Ed
16 yrs ago
http://www.hkmatchmakers.com/
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Thanks Ed. I am aware of this. However, I am sure there are more people out there that need advice/service than current services available.
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