Posted by
tommy888
16 yrs ago
a relationship ended some months ago and my ex turned out to be worse than the bunny boiler. she's been calling me several times a day, at all sorts of hours, every day since. Before i used to entertain her calls, but realised it just gave her the attention she wanted. Now i refuse to answer. I don't want to switch my phone off and make myself unavailable to friends and family, nor do i want the hassle of changing tel numbers. I'd rather not involve the police, I fear it will escalate the problem.
Is there any technology to bar this one number? anyone have any advice or suggestions, most welcomed to hear your thoughts.
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Tommy,
Yes, in Hong Kong they have that kind of service you looking for. I did get nasty phone calls from my lawyer gf and her teams who threatening me so to avoid the contact with my lawyer (soon to be ex lawyer) recently I use the service from PCCW (as this the provider for my landline) which are block the blocker and undistrub calls (you can set upto 20 number which you want to avoid).. For the mobile phone depend on the provider you use, mine using the service "call screening" (you only can reach with 20 numbers you choose) for the rest call directly going to voice mail and you will get the notice via sms which show what number trying to call you BUT the one with blocked call will never reach you. I just love this service to get rid those stupid peoples in my life.. good luck!
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How about just not answering unless you know the number? It's a bit of a pain if you have family/friends calling internationally, cos the number won't come up, but you can always call them back. I think a few weeks of her not getting thru and you not calling her back, she'll probably give up. Or if it does escalate, what's the hassle of changing numbers compared to having a phone stalker??
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thanks for the advice guys. Changing numbers is really a last resort, i've got a lot of biz contacts and met a lot of ppl over the time i've been in hk. If i change numbers, i'm bound to lose a few contacts or there will be ppl who won't be able to get to me.
It's already been a few months now and really starting to bug me...it's like doesn't this person have anything better to do, and how can anyone be so obcessed?
I use "3" anyone know if they provide the call screening/blocking service? I've called the service ppl and they didn't have a clue what i was looking for.
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Tommy, I use CSL and if I remember they have that service. Just change service providers if "3" cannot give you that service of blocking calls from other numbers. Check other networks, i'm sure they have.
Remember, she can still use a different number / phone to call you. If someone is desperate or obsessed, there is a way to get in touch with you, like using a payphone, a colleague's mobile, a work phone, a lot.
Or you can change your number, and retain the old one for a couple of months just to give you a transition period.
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When she calls tell her that you are with another woman. If you have not explained several times already that you are moving on and that she should too, then explain it once and put down the phone. Get a female friend to answer occasionally and tell her to stop calling.
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If your provider is 3 then they don't have the service you needed,no idea if mobile phones providers gives such service. What I know only landphone services has it.
Changing your mobile will not really help,in any way and no time she would be able to get your new number again. Having another woman answer her call or telling her you are with someone new now may help or just worsen the case.
You have same trouble as my boyfriend has now, her learning that he's with someone else made it worse. Can you imagine having nuissance call of at least 30 in an hour. His last resort was yes the police. It's not that a hassle as what you think it would be. Yes you do need to go the police station a couple of times for your official statement. They will just ask you then to send a letter (i.e. email ) to the service provider to authorize them to monitor your calls. This won't do any bad to any other numbers (friends,family,business) that calls you. They just need to see from which number and how often you get the call so they can proceed with the case to be charge against her. Whether you file charges against her or not the police will pursue the case if its proven she makes the calls coz its abuse of telecommunications.
Don't wait till it gets worse, my boyfriend's went for almost 2 years it affects everything you, anyone you're with (if there's any now ) and most business.
Goodluck !
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If your provider is 3 then they don't have the service you needed,no idea if mobile phones providers gives such service. What I know only landphone services has it.
Changing your mobile will not really help,in any way and no time she would be able to get your new number again. Having another woman answer her call or telling her you are with someone new now may help or just worsen the case.
You have same trouble as my boyfriend has now, her learning that he's with someone else made it worse. Can you imagine having nuissance call of at least 30 in an hour. His last resort was yes the police. It's not that a hassle as what you think it would be. Yes you do need to go the police station a couple of times for your official statement. They will just ask you then to send a letter (i.e. email ) to the service provider to authorize them to monitor your calls. This won't do any bad to any other numbers (friends,family,business) that calls you. They just need to see from which number and how often you get the call so they can proceed with the case to be charge against her. Whether you file charges against her or not the police will pursue the case if its proven she makes the calls coz its abuse of telecommunications.
Don't wait till it gets worse, my boyfriend's went for almost 2 years it affects everything you, anyone you're with (if there's any now ) and most business.
Goodluck !
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Mini, i can't imagine 30 calls in an hour...it wud drive me nuts. Altho, i do get calls at ridiculous times of the day. It's come to the point where i dread the sound of the tel ringing, cos i know there's gonna be a gud chance it'll be her!
2yrs is really crazy, i just dun understand why someone wud want to keep on pestering for so long. There's no gud that can come out of it, and why can't they see that they need to move on and let go.
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bing2
16 yrs ago
she's a psycho, hahaha.......
tell her firmly that you dont want her calling you anymore. if she still doesnt get it, go to her apartment and set her place on fire....hahaha.......
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Sounds like she's really into you still. You said the relationship has ended, but it hasn't for her. She is looking for closure. Can you tell us how you ended? How intense was the relationship when you were together? Did you promise her the future? Was it pure lust on your behalf? What about for the girl? Have you consider her feelings when you broke up? She placed he whole heart into you. You should at least sit down with her and talk this out. Tell her why the relationship didn't work and that you don't love her. For some reason, it sounds like you don't mind her calling you and love to tell everyone she's a 'psycho'. Don't forget you both started this relationship. SO YOU BOTH NEED TO END IT TOGETHER (talk it out in public, no matter how many hours it takes). Good luck!
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don't want to sound like i'm throwing a spanner in the works here but why did you two break it off
it sounds like she's obsessed or really p*ssed off
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There is something in the psyche I have noticed in Shanghai, and tommy888 has seen in HK. Stalking seems to be prevalent.
One thing to consider is having two mobile phones. One for business and one for personal use. Many people do this if they have a company phone anyway. If you do this then if you do have to change your phone number you don't loose all your business contacts.
Regards fearing the phone ringing, you could use a diferent ring tone for her. This way when your phone does ring (and it is not her) you are instantly at ease. This will help in business as you will be de-tressed when you take the call.
The other thing you can do is change her name in your phones phone book to something that will make you smile. So that when she does call your display reads 'Bunny boiler', for example.
On that note you could also assign to her a comedy ring tone. Like the Warner Brothers Looney Toons theme. this will help the stress.
You could also answer the phone by being rude to her, if you are not in company. If you tell her to 'F off' enough times she should get the hint.
Another thing would be to ge a lawyer to send a letter telling her to cease harrassing you. I know there is probably not much the lawyer can do, but the letter should be a wake up call that she is out of order.
Many people do not know they are doing something wrong, until they get a wake up call.
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niña
16 yrs ago
tommy888。
i think you just need tell her the true.dont wanna she call you again.and tell her you have another woman is good idea aslo.but you neednt hurt her,hehe.
when a woman to be crazy with you,then you have no choice and cant to do anything.give you a real example.
i decided gave up ex.and he is my first love.some time i cant control myself,just wanna hear his voice and want he warm hug.especial when i unhappy.but after 2 weeks.i used to the live without him,and tell myself he was gone.
so maybe the woman have no hostility with you,.
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