Small dilema, advise pls!

I met this friend B since college. I could feel he had some feelings for me, but I pretended not to know because I didn't want to lose this friend. Nothing happened and we were friends since then. Now, after a few years, he is coming to HK to visit for a few days. I could still feel that he has some feelings for me. I think he understands that we would not have any results and he knows I am in a stable relationship now.


Our common friend D happens to be out of town when B comes to visit. That to say I am his only friend in HK. I would like to be his company and show him around HK on the weekend. Here's the small dilema. I can imagine he might feel awkward if I invite my bf to show him around HK. However, I would feel very guilty telling my bf that he can't join us because my friend B might feel awkward. Me & my bf love each other so much and we have built a very strong relationship. I don't want such a small thing to create any "needle" in our hearts. I have explained to him about this and he is very understandable & sweet. However, If I put myself in my bf's shoes, I would feel sour.


Ladies, if you are me, how would you handle this? I feel like this case is very similar to as if you would bring your bf to meet your ex-bf knowing that your ex might still have some feelings for you but he won't proceed unless you want to and you don't want to.


Gentlemen, how would you feel if you are my bf? Would you feel sour or would you prefer to be invited to meet a new friend and just let the ice melt naturally?

well,.

im a girl.

you can meet B,caz you are friend.you have to be host over there,dont matter what his thinking,just to be youself.

even if you have bf.but you still have own space.and you still have too much male friends.so if i was you,i will accpet his invite,but just do something that friend does..

Does your college friend know that you are in a stable relationship? If he does then I don't see any harm in you saying that you AND your boyfriend are happy to show him around.


In regards to your boyfriend's feelings.... you could ask yourself this question. How would you feel if it was a girl visiting your boyfriend instead of the other way 'round?


To me, it's nothing that an old friend is visiting. It only becomes a problem if you yourself think that there is a problem.


Good luck! I'd say treat him like you would treat any other friend and show off your bf.

If this guy really is a friend then he'll have to cope with the fact that you're in a stable relationship and do not want a relationship with him. Make sure he knows about your current relationship before he gets on a plane over here.


Your bf doesn't need to know the ins and outs of your past relationship with this guy - just that he's not an issue/ but is now just a friend. Ensure that he knows that he's the No1 guy in your life - but don't go overboard on it - over-reassuring creates an issue


Do some things with your bf and some without... and relax and enjoy the visit

Surely your bf is not that insecure that he would be worried about this situation. I'm surprised your bf would even want to tag along with you guys, doesn't he have anything better to do? This is a small issue, don't think too much about it and just have fun with your friend (without your bf).

Hi Yoda, you have misunderstood the story. B is my friend, not a random guy. And there are a few points you said that are incorrect as well. It's fine, let's leave it.


To update those who have given me sincere advises, I had a chat with my bf expressing my thoughts and concerns, why I have the concerns. He was cool and made a few jokes like he minded...he would be happy to meet my friends including this friend.

Yoda, The racial stereotyping is seems unnecessary...

I believe the point that you got wrong was that "B" is a guy she's been with before, just didn't want to admit that to her bf. Thus, the discrepancy between the paragraphs over whether or not it's an ex boyfriend.

S1339, if you want to turn B into a friend instead of a guy who likes you, whatever your past relationship was, then invite your boyfriend to go out with the two of you. He doesn't want to go, but if you don't want to invite him, you should break up, because you're still dating other people.

LOL! Yoda u got problems with Asians yet your based in Shanghai! I feel sorry for you that you must make such remarks and it would be even more funny if s1339 isn't an Asian !

Yoda, just read your comment and I laughed and felt no effort to explain any further.

if you are not comfortable with it, just avoid him. just carry on with your life. sometimes, life is simple.