Posted by
woods99
16 yrs ago
Leave him, but get good legal advice and protect your financial interests/entitlements.
He is obviously not worth being in a relationship with. Why are you even asking the question - the answer is so obvious.
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The only thing you can do: leave him!
No more words. Some men never cherish women after they thought they had owned them.
Don't forget who you are! And you can find a better man to love you.
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If he is doing this after only 2 years then it is over.
It sounds like it was never really there.
Was your marriage an impulsive thing? What I mean is, you may even have been dating a long time, but the decission to actually get maried was realy quick.
Because if you did it in a hurry, it might have been some immature impulse on his part (for him it seemed like a good idea at the time), but he quickly regreted it. You have been suffereing ever since.
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quit and run fast. everything you say above just reconfirms this
sorry to say but it's true
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Yes, I also suggest for you to have your own life, you don't have kids..then let him go and focus on your job. Don't let him make your life miserable. As you said you are not ugly, so why don't you go? You will have the chance to find somebody in time. It will not be your lost, definitely it will be him. Trust me..I was in this kind of relationship before...There's no reason for you to stay with him and be unhappy..Life is too short to live.
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Dear Arsit,
Everyone here have the same advice for you. It's not a marriage you want to keep if he continue doing all this to you. I believe that I cross someone on chat one day and he works as DJ in Wanchai who use to come online and chatting, he's married with Indonesian and yes he was married before.. I dont know if that the same guy ...
If you are alone living in other people country, dont be affraid! We have lots of support organization who are willing to assist. Please be brave and break all the chains which still keep you with this kind of man who are not deserve to be love and care by you.. just move on and be happy..
No one can take away your happiness unless you give it to them.. Take care..
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Dear Arsit,
As I said earlier, you might feel alone and no one to turn too in this kind of situation, I do understand about how depressed you are .. Lots of non profit organization to help woman in your situation. You just need to come foward and don't be scared, it's not too late to do the right things for your future. You have to build your own confidence. Love takes two.. not one..
You are precious.. remember that...
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he had sex with another girl in your own house and you're still with him?..
what in the h*ll are you hanging in for?
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arsit
He was probably cheating on you before you got married. Now you are married you have been able to see more of what he does.
Only you have the solution. You will almost certainly continue to be the victim until you decide to leave.
One thing I would suggest, DON'T have children.
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I agreed with tigerbay
Don't try the idea that having baby will change your husband.
Don't have baby. Its not fair.
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It's worth knowing that you can file for divorce immediately on the grounds of adultery... no wait time...
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arsit your in a classic abusive relationship. get out quick or it will just end worse.
and please stop posting 5 messages in a row...
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kcmac
16 yrs ago
bananabender: you'd need proof though to file for divorce based on adultery right?
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You want to stay with him because you've been with him for a while so its like a habit and habits can be hard to break, also your waiting for him to change?
He wont change until he has a good reason too, protect yourself financially and tell him your getting a divorce.
Your best bet is to move on and find someone who will treat your properly.
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I'm sure he doesn't as he has his perfect life going on. You won't leave despite the fact that he is banging anything that moves in the bars and clubs. Unfortunately it is you that is being taken for a ride. If he earns the bread then it may end up costing him a fair bit of cash to get divorced. Gather up your self respect and tell him he doesn't have a choice.
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arsit, am as curious as hoyo, where you from? my guess is you are somewhere here in asia who like other stupid asian girls would stay with thier western men even though it was tough for them just so they have western husband. I am asian myself but i have encountered girls like you who still hangs on, then complains, asks for advice and yet not only don't they listen for those advice given to them, they contradict them. So don't pose anymore
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kcmac ... yes, you need proof... but if you don't have proof, you can get him on other facts i.e. behaviour
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Your husband's behavior is awful. However, this should not surprise you. He was a womanizer before you married, and he is a womanizer now. If you believed his lies, and hoped he would change you are foolish.
This is not PC, but the truth is quite a few women are captivated by "exciting" men, such as DJs, criminals, etc... Such men make very interesting boyfriends, but they make lousy husbands. Anyone who chooses a man this way, will have to eat the fruit.
You need to decide what you really want out of life, then decide if you prefer the roller coaster with this man, or a more stable life.
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Yeah Arsit, I've always seen this post but never bothered to reply because I saw your comments/replies on the other posters. I hope you're strong enough now to leave you man.. I mean, that boy. HE's not man enough for you.
Take care.
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"Listen to your heart" ????????? Looks like thats all she has been listening to and thats why she is still in this mess!!!
Arsit..You really need to think clearly here..how long will you allow yourself to be used and abused by a scumbag like that..Sorry to be so harsh but having read all that you have written clearly suggests that..
You need to get out of this situation, stand tall on your own 2 feet, respect yourself and dont allow anyone to treat you like this..You need to find the strength within yourself to do that..He obviously seems to be having a jolly good time & you seem to be knowingly allowing this to go on..If you dont leave you will end up in a worse situation than you find yourself in at present..And for heavens sake pls do not bring a child into this kind of an environment..
Pls feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to as I have worked as a counsellor for women in your situation...
All the Best..
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he's just playing on the fact that he knows you won't leave him. no matter how disrespectful he is, you won't leave and he loves that. you'll have to either live with that fact or do the extreme, ie. show him that you can live without him. most marriages turn sour at some stage or other and it's up to the couple either make it or break it.
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easyl
15 yrs ago
if a man does that all the time, then leave him, he doesnt respect u as his wife, leave him, but be sure to talk to a lawyer about the divorce issues
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