Posted by
ovi
16 yrs ago
OK, I am seperated couple of years ago from my husband and now I think I am ready for another relationship. Not the kind like we are going to get marriage tomorrow but it is kind relationship where you feel strong of connection emotionally and physically..be there for each other.
The problem is, I have been out of dating scene for ages.
While man find me attractive but some of them find my attractiveness is quite intimidating...I think they also find me too independent. On the other hand, the man whom I meet on the pub is too ready to invite me to their place..(oh..BTW, I am a mother too)
Anyway, I found the whole thing is confusing..are man find attractive and independent person is intimidating? Or the fact that I am a mother is more an issue? If it is..I dont understand why...I am not asking them to support me or to be the father of my children...so what actually on their mind?
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uh hello? i think you might be sending out conflicting signals.
on the one hand 'you are ready for a relationship, but then you want to be independent? women who say they are independent are usually the ones not ready for compromise - which seems to be a prerequisite for a relationship to me. (btw men who say they are independent are usually not very social or simply want to have a beer with the boys occasionally)
and another thing: men who go to a pub are usually not looking for a relationship...
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Hi Bjaeggi,
Thanks for your answer. I found it interesting ...
What make you think that independent women are not ready to compromise? Is that what man think? I think the ability to compromise is get to do with maturity of a person and how she sees her relationship. The longer relationship, the more she gets out of it, I think her compromise zone will be wider.
So, if you said man who say they are independent are not very social or simply want to have a beer with the boys.....but then would any man say they are not independent?
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Another point I can note is that women who 'think' they intimidate men are often wrong.
Do a search on here. This was discussed at great length a few months ago.
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Hi Tigerbay..
I dont think I intimidate man...I am actually quite soft and friendly ... But couple of people whom I met, told me this. Again, I found it quite absurd...it is easy to draw a conclusion and say well...we are different species..but I generally like poeple and therefore I found the difference is interesting. So...in what area man can find women intimidating then?
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Men generally don't find women intmidating.
However many men do find over-assertive women unattractive. In the same way that many women find over-assertive men unattractive perhaps. It has nothing to do with intimidation.
There is also a sub-group of extorverts who lack social finesse. That is also unattractive. Often seen in men, who may just be labelled a55 holes. But the new ladettes prove this is no longer a predominantley male domain.
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ovi
16 yrs ago
What is your definition of over assertive women?
Just think out load, some women can be seen as very assertive but at the same time posses high ability to adjust herself. Know when she can be a friend, a lover, a mother or a child as well ... However you can find about these qualities once you spend enough time with her.
Well, I judge people based on the energy that the create around them. Some overly assertive man who sound cocky..or have little regards for other people...that highly unattractive...some assertive man who still radiate a kindness or softness around him..that is very attractive...some charming man who always know what to say...it is attractive...
Lack of social finesse? such as ?
Does man feels insecure if they enter relationship with a women who is confident, good looking, has agreeable personality, smart and likeable?
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just some thoughts and i might be completely wrong here but i sense a lot of me, me, me in ovi's writing style: "confident, good looking, has agreeable personality, smart and likeable" does not sound like a lot of humility to me. maybe independence means egoism? like i said i might be completely wrong but given my western background i have seen many women like that in my own country who mix up independece between equals with egoism.
another unrelated thought: there are many men who are in a relationship with non-confident women and they like that because they feel happy to care for that person and build them up. it's their way to express love without expecting too much of the same to come back.
just some input into the thinking process...
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and by the way in repsonse to hkhk: i think LGMS is very very spot on with his/her "most single and previously unmarried men would probably not want a serious relationship with a mother?"
althought I would say 'all' not 'most'!
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Hrm, I'd hate to say it.. but damaged goods. You'd really have to find a divorced man with kids I think, either that or settle for a lesser man (fat/ugly/etc.) Someone who would readily compromise his wants/desires in a woman due to his own inadequacies..
Any funny, intelligent, single, good looking guy has the pick of the litter.. Do you really think men of such caliber are common? So, why would he pick you? Be willing to make compromises, and be open to guys you would have never looked at before, and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised.
Regarding ovi, just reading the way you talk in this thread is a turn off for me. Underneath your totally transparent guise of humility, I can tell that you're defensive, confrontational, and judgemental. What you have isn't confidence, it's hubris, there's a very big difference there. You can think what you want of yourself, but if you were really that hot, intelligent, funny etc.. you DEFINITELY wouldn't be on these forums asking what the problem is. That's a fact. You can disagree with me.. tell me that I'm making baseless assertions.. whatever you want to mentally handicap yourself.. but this is just my tough love. You need to hear it, and you need to know that I mean it.
hkhk2009 on the other hand.. How YOU doin. ;)
EDIT: haha hkhk2009 edited her post and deleted it all. So cute. She's like shy or embarrassed or something. She had me at hello.
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Ovi,
let there be a lesson in this: don't come to Asiaxpat forums without your eyes wide open. At best, you can have a laugh..at worst, you could end up with someone like the above posters!!
Seriously, try and build a network of good friends, better if you can join a club/activity that is both social and has a purpose so that you can make friends who will like you for your OBVIOUS intelligence.
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Dear guys and girls, your response made me smile. It is sooooo easy to judge people and making a conclusion after reading few line of words....or without knowing them.
Loyd, matches, my hong kong, tigerbay, I highly appreciate your answer.
I always suspect it is the children more than anything but people are too polite to say it out loud. I do beleive people have the right to choose their friends, boy friend/girl friend. I just think women who has been marriage actually have their own advantages as they are more mature, money is not their first priority but happiness is and they don't have clock ticking so they wont rush the man to marry them and have baby..
I have to say, I tried to imagine myself screaming in front of someone house with mascara runs down on my cheek...ha..ha.ha. Well, don't worry. It will not happen to me.... I hope not many women will fall into that situation....
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I'm glad I was able to make you smile.. but your response is typical and exactly what I predicted in my previous post. It actually isn't that easy to draw any real conclusions from reading a few sentences.. not within any accuracy at all. With that said, I've never been far off from the mark though.
You're under the impression that you know yourself, know your mettle and worth.. I mean, that's good at all, but your delusion will only end up being more detrimental than beneficial. I'm not trying to say that you are a horrible person or something, it just seems like you have a weird inferiority complex and supplement it by playing some holier-than-thou role. Might be a bi-product of being a woman with a good job? (I find that female execs/management all suffer from these symptoms.)
Anyway, I'm sure my words will continue to fall upon deaf ears because you've convinced yourself that I'm an idiot and know nothing about you, etc. I've got nothing to prove or gain here, and merely posted in this thread because I felt compelled to tell you what I see. What you do with it, is completely up to you.
Take care and good luck with your search.
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Dear ovi,
"Dear guys and girls, your response made me smile. It is sooooo easy to judge people and making a conclusion after reading few line of words....or without knowing them. "
Your sentence actually made me smile. if you dun willing to listen to people, why you post an Ad here asking for advice? your problem is you are too subjective and inconsiderate. If they dun understand you, you should be kind enough to share more but not complaint. You are the one who need advice.
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Hi everyone...thank you for writing. I started this thread to find out what man actually want in a relationship or in women and some of you have given me the answer. Hoyo..thank you for your kind advice and littlekitten.. welcome to our discussion and elsdon..thank you for your comment.
Now, I am intrigue with Lyod's story about a sophisticated chinese lady who was screaming in front of FCC. I think this story came as a response of hkhk2009's story when she wrote that her friends advise her to have a fling with married man.
I think this Chinese women probably the wife of the man whom she screaming at as she felt that she has a right or claim on him (regardless what other people think about her).
During my day dreaming, I actually put forward a question to myself, which option is better; get a truth from my partner/husband if he slept with someone else or whether I would prefer not knowing. And I think not knowing how he feels about me or which direction our relationship goes will make me very insecure and unhappy. I rather know the truth so that I can make an informed decision whether to stay and try to work things out or move on.
I think in general, women always appreciate a man who can tell their partner that they no longer interested in her or whenever he finds happiness with someone else instead leaving her guessing....just like what happened to that Chinese lady.
I think it is a fact that some people fall in love and some people fall out love. My question is: why some man decided not to tell his GF or someone he was dating or his wife that he is no longer interested in her instead of being silence? Another question is whether most man will prefer to take the "silence" route or it is only the minority?
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Aiya.........so now I have to consider "lesser man" who possibly like to have his cake and eat it as well...how depressing...lol....
Well, I wonder what happened to the Chinese lady...why would she put herself into that situation for an ex boyfriend....hmm.....strange
Anyway, one of my friend (male, 31, puerto rican) told me that man will never take his old GF back if she left him for someone else. Me (39, South East Asian, F), said depending on the breakout situation, I will be happy to have back one of my ex for one more time (in the spirit that people deserve a second chance). Am I wierd..or is he wierd?
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ovi
16 yrs ago
I have to say this is mighty depressing...LOL....!!! I think in the old days, when man is the breadwinner and where the whole famly depending on him for their survival, women more likely to forgive..I think that where the polygami culture came from. However nowdays, when women actually take some of man roles...(working)..it is a bit unrealistic to expect women to continue to be accepting.
Another contradiction is (please correct me if I am wrong), man want someone who are reasonably smart, can hold conversation, But then smart women will have less patient to put up with nonsense compare to the women who rely 100% on their partner. Unfortunately, man who are with women who totally rely on them..at one point will want to have a"connection" with smart and charming women.
Further, as you pointed out earlier, man would like to be seen with beautiful but at the sametime thinks that beautiful women is too much hard work..
Is my statement correct? If it is, the question is WHY ????
Another problem is, women build to be romantic and have lots of love hormon. That make her (willingly or unwillingly) feel attached with the man that she is seeing. If man would like a women to be less attached to them, then women probably need to start sleeping around and have more "sex only" relationship. But then man will call her "a slut" and will less likely to consider her for a serious relationship..
So..back to my first question...what does man want? what do you want us to do?
me..scratching my head...
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Well, the reason why you can't find an answer to your question is because there simply is no answer for such a general question. Every man wants different things, just like every woman, every dog, horse or ape.. You're 39 years old, and you should know better than that. The only chance you have to answering your question is to ask whichever man you are involved with at the time, what he wants, and although you aren't guaranteed a solid response, it's a start.
You seem to have such a rigid view of what should and should not be acceptable behaviour for men and women.. I don't know what to tell you, but the world isn't always black or white. You have a lot of stereotypes in your head about men and women.. Their accuracy is always up for debate but their usefulness isn't. You should stop trying to force fit men and women into whatever misconceptions you have and be more dynamic. You keep alluding to the fact that you are an intelligent and bright woman, so start acting like one.
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Fully agree Elsdon. In fact it's filled with stereotyping and untruths
"I think in the old days, when man is the breadwinner and where the whole famly depending on him for their survival, women more likely to forgive"
"However nowdays, when women actually take some of man roles...(working)..it is a bit unrealistic to expect women to continue to be accepting."
"man want someone who are reasonably smart, can hold conversation"
"smart women will have less patient to put up with nonsense compare to the women who rely 100% on their partner"
"man who are with women who totally rely on them..at one point will want to have a"connection" with smart and charming women"
"man would like to be seen with beautiful"
"thinks that beautiful women is too much hard work"
"women build to be romantic and have lots of love hormon That make her (willingly or unwillingly) feel attached with the man that she is seeing"
...
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Hi Cookie and Elsdon...
I don't realise you still read the thread and thank you for replying....
It is actually quite refreshing to hear your perspective as you give different view on things...which is great...Now things look more promising...
Cheers
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good time and strategy are tangible? lol
you must be a consultant LGMV :)
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jwm
16 yrs ago
Men do not want complicated or women who are high maintenance. You have been out of the dating game, it's not like it was in the 1970' or 80's... Be fun to be with, laugh, smile,try and show some interest in what he likes and hopefully he will do the same.
So many people on her this htye are Dr Phil and advise people to analylize their mates, geex, leave that alone. Enjoy the moments, talk to them when talking is needed, stopmaking life so complicated
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look at any attractive, well-groomed and 'outstanding' woman at a bar and you'll find they attract attention from all men but often end up speaking to equally well-groomed good looking, guys, because they're usually the ones who have enough guts and practice to go up and talk to her
as another poster has mentioned, they may also be serial players so ovi, if you fit that description of the female, you would have run into many such men over the years and if you're looking for a serious relationship, it's going to be hard to pick the wheat from the chaff - since nearly every guy at a bar is going to be trying to sell himself as the wheat at least part of the time
you may be putting off guys because you are good looking. guys will assume that a lot of guys hit on you and you may be unkind when you get attention from someone you are not interested in = you look slightly 'harsh' = you might tell a guy to f*ck *ff if you're not interested
that's going to deter a lot of more mild guys from approaching you
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Hi everyone, thank you for your response...
Squidburger....thank you for your insight. I am fully understand that "good looking" is a very subjective matter, but I am actually quite approachable. I am also people person so it is not very hard for me to make people comfortable around me. Day today, I am normally quite confident in initiating conversation. If I am going out in the evening, I mostly too busy dancing but I response quite well to anyone who is making an effort and friendly (but not pushy). Perhaps I should make more effort at any time....would you advise that?
Lyod, you gave me such a very very interesting concept. I never think that way and I think it is explain lots of things...
Anyway, I have decided to live my life to the fullest... if it is going to happen.its happen....otherwise..its OK too as I will have lots of fun.
But saying that..I will not stop learning and solicit your opinion in different things, because I married young, and as I have stated in the beginning I was out of dating game for more than 14 years. In addition to this, I used to have long term relationship.
OK, next question. In many occasion, a guy will give me his phone number and asked me to call him.. I found it quite odd that he did not ask me for my number but then asked me to call..why is that? Did he really want me to call him? If it is work related, I normally email everyone whom I meet within 3 days..but if someone that I met through a friend or during night out, I never know what to do about it..
Any suggestion?
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hoyo, yeah I had assumed she was chinese already.. Having dealt with a fair sized sample set of chinese girls in my life, her personality fits the mold.
It depends on the man's age and experience, but if he's younger.. say anything less than 35.. The guy giving you his number asking for you to call is just doing so for the ego boost. He could of easily asked for your number to call you, as any real man would do, but he's obviously looking for some form of cheap validation for himself.
If he's older.. then he may fall into Loyd's explanation. I still think that's a cop out though.
Most people you meet in a club aren't exactly looking for long term relationships, so they will act accordingly. You should decide on what it is you want, just to fool around or to try and build a constructive, long term relationship?
Let's just cut right to the chase, message me and attach your picture so we can determine once and for all whether or not you are as hot as you say, haha. At 39, I'm skeptical unless the guys approaching you are also like 40-50 years old.. Not that many 40-50 year old men going clubbing are 'long term' relationship material. Delusion can also greatly hinder romance, as it skews your view of reality and sometimes closes doors that should have been left open.
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maxis
16 yrs ago
Hoyo,
"but i can tell you, men don't really want anything in particular (except for sex, they will always be ready) and those who are out there to look for a long term relationship are most of times strange. the "normal" ones would simply want to spend a good time."
I love the comment on "long term relationship" seekers - it aint just the men who want that who are strange.
If a guy gives his number and wants the girl to call him, he is not usually lacking confidence, as giving out your number is quite personal.
More likely he is being very practical. He doesn't have to keep himslef available, he doesn't need to bother calling, he doesn't have to take the lower hand by being ther chaser, he doesn't waste time/money on a girl who aint a starter. For a girl to call a guy it is a sure sign she is pretty keen, and he hasn't had to waste several dates to find that out - again very practical.
And he probably palms his number out to many women who he could be bothered having, and sits back and reels them in. It is quite easy really - why spend time/efort hunting when you can throw hallf a dozen lines in, sit back and relax and see if you get a bite.
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Everyone.....thank you for your reply.
I don't actually thinking of finding someone in the pub. I love dancing so I go out to dance time to time. If people come up to me and talk to me in a decent way, I dont think I have reason to be rude and ignore him. In a way, it is work quite well with my young female friends. I normally introduce the man to my friends so they can have bigger group of friends.
The reason I asked that question is because I find some of them is actually quite interesting. I am not particularly interested in developing a relationship with them but I like people and to get to know them and hear what they think on different subjects (just like reading your thought on this thread). I dont have problem calling them (if they are nice and interesting person).. and whether they would like to get to know me or not, it does not matter....at least I roll the ball back to him... thank you for your input on this matter ^_^
I do have another question but let me think about it so I can rephrase it better.
Elsdon...I am from Malay race. The guy who approached me is on their early thirty. I think because of most of my girl friend are on early thirty, therefore it is very easy for man to (mistakenly) think that I am at the similar age group as well.
Cheers everyone
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Hoyo wrote
"... those who are out there to look for a long term relationship are most of times strange. the "normal" ones would simply want to spend a good time."
Maxis wrote
"... it aint just the men who want that who are strange."
What planet are you guys?
I think you will find that most people on this planet have been, or are, married. Most with kids. So how does that happen then? Are most of the people on this planet abnorma? By your world view, yes. That says more about YOUR perceptions of 'normality'.
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Well, I am at the same age as you are and find it difficult to meet the right man too. I do think age is going to be an issue, unless you are after a toy boy and can find one. Most guys in this age group are either married or attached and if they are not, they probably will want kids and think a 39 years old woman is too old for them due to the biological clock thing.
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Hi Tigerbay...
I think HK is a funny place..
I met a couple of man in early 30 and they are young so they just want to go out and play. Then I met couple of in their early 40. They are single, they are sucessfull, have lots of money, they have a good life, so what they want is to enjoy life, have fun and play. And then I met two man in their thirties, who really want to have a family. I became shock. Too many time I've heard a man saying that they are not into long term relationship so when I met one or two, it seems that they are coming from different planet.
So Tutorjoanna, in relation to the above, I have decided not to think to much about it. I have two kids. One is going to enter Uni and one is going to Secondary school next year so I do not want to have more children. I feel that have done my share, so in a way, I want to play and have fun too ( but not with toy boy..LOL) So yes... I guessed my choice will be: find an older man who already has children or wait until the "boys" become a bit older and decided that they do not want children...^_^
The questions is...(generally speaking) what age a man decided that its the time for them to settle down? I know that most of women wants to settled down before 35 due to biological clock thing.
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tpol
16 yrs ago
from the men that I know, guys who were unsuccessful with women during their teens and early twenties tend to be the ones who are looking for a long term relationship and actually become very good and dedicated husbands and fathers.
Men who tends to attract women easily tend to want to live the bachelor life even though they are committed or married.
I know many Chinese women who used to hang out with the Cool Studs in the early twenties and by their late twenties they end up marrying the nerdy guy who will give her stability. Usually, for the nerdy guy, it is his first or second girlfriend.
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Ovi, i think you're at a cool stage in life. Babies are old enouhg to look after themselves. You're attractive, intelligent, like dancing have a lot of friends.
go out there and have a ball. and stop giving a toss about what men want. it's a TOTAL waste of time.
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Hi everyone, thank you for your reply. It did bring a BIG smile on my face.
Ha..ha..I can just see man in their mid life crises..in their sport car..or yacht. Well, Lyod, dont be a ranter....buy a sportcar instead please, HK has too much ranter already...LOL..Anyway, I dont think you will fall into that catagory.
Tpol, thank you for your contribution. Security is very important for women. One of my French acquintance (Male) told me that some man are tiger some man are cat...who like to curl up on the sofa and such...There is probably some truth in it.
Goddess and Hoyo, thank you. You are very sweet. I actually have lots of fun...and this actually drove me to write this thread. I am having as much fun as any other non married women. I am sure there are other women, a single mother mother like me who is able to keep their head up, light hearted and delightful person. On top of that we do not have the urge to wear wedding gown ASAP (as we wore them before) and we can be lots of fun too. But just like some people pointed out in this thread, we are labelled as a defected good ^_^...(without knowing that some of us possibly the one who made the decision to end up the marriage for many reason)...ha..ha.. how ironic isnt it..? But its OK...I called it as freedom of opinion..
Anyway, guys...please tell me , did you ever consider the above or once you met single mother, you then have a red flag waving in front of your face and RUN ???
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Hi Ovi
Men do consider single mothers.
I married a divorced woman with a teenage daughter.
She was Chinese, I am British.
She was late 30s, I was in my early 40s.
It was a marriage of equals. We met while we were both doing our MBAs in UK. She was financially independant, so was I. She is conservative about relationships (not a bar or party type woman), and so am I.
We relocated to China and both are very happy after 6 years.
Also some older men are quiet happy to plug into an 'instant family', especially if they don't have kids of thier own.
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elsdon- not ALL 'chinese' women think in that way.
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Hi Tigerbay,
Thank you for your reply. It is nice to know that you took your time to get to know your wife and decided on the quality of her instead of her status.
One thing of your comment attract my attention. What is your definition on conservative? Do you think a person who like to party or go to a pub will have liberal approach to relationship such as..will prefer open relationship?
Hmmmmmm...
Well, I always suspect that if I am going to meet someone, I probably meet during a conference or work related event where there is reasonable time of interaction as I can easily mislead someone. I like dancing and going out time to time but in term of relationship, I am monogamous. I have a master degree but I used to teach dancing as a hobby. I smile a lot and very friendly and approachable but I never let anyone pick me up in a pub or something...
Based on the above, I am trying not to sterotyping man who is charming and good looking and decided that he must be a 'don juan". However after I read different threads on this site..I am quite skeptical...ha..ha.ha.
Tigerbay, I wish you an incredebly long happy marriage.
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Hi Ovi
Thanks for the good wishes.
It is hard to define terms like conservative and I was not trying to do this, what I was doing was trying to put a label on my wife.
It is very difficult to pigeonhole people, but somebody who puts work and family before bars and clubs, could reasonably be described as conservative.
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sicn
16 yrs ago
Having read the threads here I would only point out that getting back into dating after you have been married and have a child is a lot more difficult than getting into dating initially. Time has gone on in your life you are older and wiser. So are the men.
Apart from the small number of single expats in HK and the happily married guys who you won't meet anyway, the majority of the expat men you will meet are those who are divorced or will be divorced. If they are successful, their family, friends and lawyers will be begging them to control themselves and not jump into a serious relationship. Even if they aren't successful they may have guilt feelings or just long to be free for a while.
So what do they want? With kids growing up and approaching their college years they have money for beers and meals out but not much more than that.
Don't dispair, men fall in love. In spite of all the good well intentioned advice from people who care for them, they still fall in love and become responsible for a relationship again. They won't fall in love over a beer while listening to some intelligent converstation. If you were them would you?
So give your assertive aggression a rest. The advice of joining groups and doing things where you will meet people is sound. The last place you want to meet a guy is in a pub. They have all of their defensive mechanisms in place and are usually accompanied by friends.
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Dear tigerbay and sicn,
Thank you for writing. I think you are so true. In a way, I think we make it hard on ourselves as well.
And as a person who had been marrried and divorced, we probably have our defence gate higher than other people without realising it. The more happier we are with our new life, the more selective we become.
Joining a club...? hmmmm...I never explore that option. I always thought it is a bit lame to join a club or to do something just to meet a man..^_^ Even though it is always useful to wider your network of friends.
Well, I will try to find a club that interest me... wish me luck...
Cheers everyone.
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Over asserive, very independent, whatever u call urself to be, u have a market out there. Every type of personalities have someone out there for them. so dont worry abiout what u shld and not be, ok.
ur prob now is where to find a partner. since ur a mother and maybe mid age, i would suggest u find it in places where men wont take advantage of u. having kids and being divorced and mid age make men sometimes think that u r just desperate and dateless. some men would take advantage thinking u r lonely. but whatever their thoughts are, make sure u r not sending the wrong signal. I am sure there is someone out there for u. just havent found him.
You can join a divorced site and take it from there. But beware the wolves in sheep skin.
Online dating might be an option for u. no more bars and clubs.. men u hook from there are no good at all.
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If you are joining a club, do it to meet people and make friends, and also to enjoy the activity.
If you join to find a man you will be disapointed. Also people who are activley looking will actually repel each other. It sounds counter intuitive, but I saw this in many singles clubs. But people who are relaxed and confident and comnfortable with what they are doing are attractive, as friends and as potential mates.
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ovi
16 yrs ago
Hi Veebabe and Tigerbay...thank you for writing..
I am actually very cool now. Thanks to all of you !!
OK confession time...
When I started this thread... A 39 y.o. guy whose I was dating for a while decided that he prefers seeing someone who is living in the same city as him (we have this loooong distance relationship). I really like him so I was using my own standard that as a women, I can have long distance relationship. I was looking for an answer, whether it is my status which drive him away and what man generally want in women..
In the process of finding the centre of myself, I tried to see myself in this whole universe. (Where i am now, what is my progress in life and where I am heading). I also started this thread. And as the conclusion of that process, I made peace with myself and this world. I think I become more serene and beleive that "the best yet to come".
From this thread, I found that it is very easy for people to misunderstood me. It need face to face interaction to know the real me as the reader of this thread will interpret what I wrote based on the life experience and where they are in this universe.
Therefore, I think if I am going to meet someone, this person will start as a friend. As then we will have the opportunities to get to know each other in a real sense. Especially because I am quite multi dimensional and I want him to get to know all of me. Therefore I have stopped looking for a "man". Just look for a friends...and will see...
Anyway, I have not join any club yet... still looking for the right one..something interesting and have practical value...And you know what tigerbay? You are absolutely correct...After I made peace with myself, I feel this whole world react better to me...that including man and women.. and for some reason I feel loved...it strange...its strangely beautiful...
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AK41
15 yrs ago
Also wanted to add...if you want love life advice re; a boy friend ask a man not a woman. We truly come from Venus and don't understand Martians :-) My guy friends will typically give me a one-liner advice when I am whining about a guy and it's almost always harsh, straightforward and true. Wherereas a woman will dissect it and read meanings where there are none!
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