He is back but I am being insecured

I truly loved this boy, I could hardly live without him. However, we were back and forth two times due to his ex-girlfriend. Since I REALLY left him last time, he finally realized that the thing between him and her is like best friends and family, but he couldn't live without me, I am the one he really loves, for this he said he already broke up with his ex and both agreed to be just good friends.


At first I didn't want to go back to him, I was hurt too much. But he constantly told me that he was in hell and always reminded me those beautiful memories, so I agreed to give him a last chance because I am still very passionate for him.


However, something terrible happened last night. When I called him there was no answer. Usually he calls me back soon but he didn't last night. This is the time we are kind of testing that I have to see his action so that I am being quite sensitive. After hours of waiting I was getting frustrated because I felt like I was in the past again when he was with his ex. Then I called again and again and left voice mails like: If you don't call me back in an hour don't ever call anymore; I think you are lying to me; this is it, I can't take it anymore...


Then he called me back after 4 hours and said he was in the city with his friends and forgot to bring the phone with him (I didn't expect this but he did forget keys sometimes), he got scared by the way I behaved and to hear those messages.

Later he said he understood why I was being like that but he really is innocent now and he hopes I can trust him in the future by spending more time together and sooner live together.


I have been feeling terrible about those calls, think I am being paranoid? I am a very sweet person and never said things in a tough way to him even when he hurt me, but I can not undo. I still love him and to spend my life with him is my wish and he feels the same. But I am also worried the things with this ex will make our life complicate since I know he still cares about her. They were together for about 7 years so I guess it makes no sense if I ask him to cut the contact with her? Or I have to? Any advice? I will be appreciated.

i guess it DOES make sense to ask him to cut contact to her completely. else you are taken for a ride...

I had a very similar situation as your ex. I had a bf before for 7 years, we splited up finally. I care for him and he is just like my family and part of my life. Without him, I couldnt be the one I am now. I am grateful and if I can make the chemistry happen, I would do. However, I have no passion on him. I cannot have close body contact with him and later I broke up with him. I dont suggest you to force your bf to stop contact with his Ex. Imagine, you cannot lock him into a box. Even there is no Ex, there maybe many girls threatening your relationship in the future. What can you do then? As you are so insecure, anything happen, you turn to the negative side. Now he was in town with frd (not ex), and you were so insecure and fed up easily. How about next time? He cannot guarantee you that he can pick up your phone immediately like at WORK or he must return your call in an hour. If relationship consist of pressure, you will not enjoy and he will not enjoy.


Grow up and overcome your weakness. Try to control your emotion and your reaction. Dont ruin it by yourself. I know its hard, but get it step by step. Of cos, if he loves you, he will be patience to your growing process.


See yourself with progress is good enough, its not neccessary to overcome it in one day. Thats impossible.


On the other hand, if you see some FACTS that he is still have relationship with his Ex, think it carefully if you want to give him more chance.


Cheers