urgently need expat opinions!



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by here rains a lot 15 yrs ago
It's the first time I get a chance to go my boyfriend's home in Italy for a holiday of 1 month long. Unfortunately at this moment I haven't got that much savings for such a trip and long stay in Europe.


Although my boyfriend is very happy to cover all the expenses, I still feel a little uncomfortable to accept this offer. I've already met the nice people from his family when they came to visit us in China, but still feel unease to imagine staying in his home eating for free for 30 days!


I'd like to wait for next year until I save up enough money but all my friends say how come you never go to his home since you guys have lived together for 5 years?!




I know in Chinese culture it may be no big deal for a girl to take such an offer from her boyfriend but what about western culture? My boyfriend said it's not a problem for his family but I'd like to hear opinions from you people especially expats from west Europe.


Do i think too much?

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COMMENTS
Kate71 15 yrs ago
If you've been together for 5 years and especially if you've met the family already - it's completely ok... don't worry


do take Hoyo's advice re taking a present and maybe doing something nice for them at then (you could cook them a meal if money is tight) and having some money for expenses... and do stuff round the house (not as if you were a servant, but helping out as a decent guest - I expect you would anyway)... and don't worry about it


My sister in law has never had any money - but it's not a problem because she loves my brother and makes him happy and that's what's important


have a fabulous time in Italy - it's such an amazing company

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Kate71 15 yrs ago
If you've been together for 5 years and especially if you've met the family already - it's completely ok... don't worry


do take Hoyo's advice re taking a present and maybe doing something nice for them at then (you could cook them a meal if money is tight) and having some money for expenses... and do stuff round the house (not as if you were a servant, but helping out as a decent guest - I expect you would anyway)... and don't worry about it


My sister in law has never had any money - but it's not a problem because she loves my brother and makes him happy and that's what's important


have a fabulous time in Italy - it's such an amazing country

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sicn 15 yrs ago
I think you think too much. If your boy friend said no proplem. It is no problem for them. Period. If you still feel that you have to pay for something yuo can bring them some gifts from China. I don't think it is good idea of delaying seeing his family since you two have lived together for so long. Enjoy and have fun.

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olivo08 15 yrs ago
Something apart, from all the good and helpful advice given above by all the warm hearted people.


I am not really sure about what is believed by the OP that it is natural for chinese culture to accept such an offer with no other thoughts, it is really about family bringing-ups and individual.


My mom never used my father's money cos they both worked all their lives; my mom got all presents ready by herself before my father claimed her girlfriend/wife-to-be to people, gifts which would have been offered by the boyfriend side back then, cos my mom has always been such an independent and proud woman, herself, and that's how she raised us, my sis and myself.


that's how i conduct myself in any relationships i have had so far, with westerners most of them. And i am just a normal girl from beijing and i have known many women here like me.


just so to see more of the facts.


this aside, found all above comments reasonable.

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CaptDave 15 yrs ago
It is fine. Just, make sure he knows you appreciate it, and you're not taking him for granted.


Have a GREAT vacation. It's so nice to see a normal, happy couple in this thread, instead of the usual, "my husband is cheating" "My wife is a Psycho" "I'm in love with a married man" stories.

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