Posted by
delphi
15 yrs ago
When you start dating a man, you wouldn't know much about his background. How can I find out if he has many sexual partners and could he potentially carry HIV? I am a monogamous and I don't want to catch HIV... What shall I do?? Please give me some advice.
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use condoms all the time and insist on a HIV test before you do it without
that applies for BOTH of you of course because this is about trust not what he or you really have done in the past
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thanks cookie09... but would the man feel offend if I request for a HIV test?
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to use a condom should not offend him at this stage of the relationship, else he is an idiot that does not deserve you anyway.
on the hiv test, it depends how you put it, i guess.
if you say "i don't really trust you because of your past. please go and do an hiv test and we only have sex once that comes out clean", then I think he might have an issue because you put the trust right up his nose.
if you say however, "honey i really love you and I would like to go a bit more stable. let's go and do a hiv test together and stop using condoms", that might sounds different to him.
stop using condoms of course carries the risk of pregnancy but that could be handled in another way.
generally i would think that most guys would happily go for a hiv test if that means stop using condoms during intercourse.
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easyl
15 yrs ago
use a condom always and say that for both of ur goodness, both of u should take the test together, not only him, may be u are not also safe...
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what about STD? its the same as above except that if you dont do it, most STD will not kill you
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STD = sexually transmitted desease, e.g. hiv, herpes, hpv, gonorreah, chlamydia, syphillis, etc.
hope i spelled them all correctly ;-)
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STD means "sexually transmitted diseases". Some infections are easier to catch than HIV/AIDS, but they are more easily treated and not usually fatal.
However, STDs can certainly be unpleasant.
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thanks cookie99 & woods99!
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Frankly, there is no fool proof way.
A condom is good practice, but you are still exposed if you engage in oral sex and heavy kissing. Further, HIV takes time to seroconvert, so there is up to 6 months between catching it and testing positive when you may be infected, but a test will say you are not !
In the final analysis you need to trust the person - find someone who has similar values as yourself (although reading some of the threads here, that can be tough, because some people put up a false front).
Thankfully, the prevalence of HIV/AIDS is actually quite low.
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yes, Herpes never goes away (although the sores come and go) and you can get it by kissing. the message is choose your partner carefully.
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MES, this is not a silly question. if in doubt, seek advice from a doctor.
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Honestly, no one wants HIV, but is this guy sleeping with prostitutes or bar girls every weekend? How long has he been in HK? Chances are he doesn't have HIV, as if he lives here now he had to have an exam to get his visa, and as part of that exam they screen you for HIV. If he tested positive he wouldn't have gotten a visa. That being said there are a lot of other things he might have, and you dont want any of those either. The 'I love you and I'd really like to stop using condoms because i want to feel all of you in me, so I think we should both get tested", would work on me
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Can you not just ask him how many sexual partners he's had? I think people in a mature adult relationship should be able to discuss things like this. Within the first few weeks of dating my current boyfriend I knew everything about his sexual past. If you're doing it, you should be able to talk about it.
I'd just like to say, condoms don't protect against everything. As condoms are only 99% effective at preventing pregnancy, they are only 99% effective at preventing infection of HIV.
Condoms are only effective in preventing those sexually transmitted diseases that are transmitted by seminal fluids and by skin to skin contact in the areas that are actually covered by the condom. Diseases like syphilis, herpes, and genital warts, can be transmitted by contact with lesions that are not covered by the condom.
The best way to prevent yourself from catching anything from your sexual partner is to make sure you don't sleep with someone skanky!! If you think your sexual partner has a sexually transmitted disease then WHY ARE YOU CONSIDERING SLEEPING WITH THEM!??!?! Yuck!!
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p.s, I have a visa to work in Hong Kong and I didn't have any medical tests before I got it.
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