Posted by
freedom
15 yrs ago
ask this question for a female friend. she met a guy at work, got along well, have dinner together, be treated nicely...and sometimes even initimate, a little...anyway, she might be a little confused in mind and she pretended to be cool to him from time to time in the office...but not too much.
while little by little she found out the guy turned to be cool and even became indefferent to her, or to say, not friendly, ignore her.....she wondered why and went to ask him cuz at least they can work together and treat each other friendly.he denied there is sth...and the indefference continued. he can treat all the people around him nicely, share snack food...just ignore her...what should she do? should she try again to be frank with him? or she will just get hurt?
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i think your female friend is a typical hk or shanghai princess who has not grown up yet: she pretended to be cool from time to time to see whether he really loved her and to keep him being the only one who takes risk.
he probably concluded either of two things: either she is cool because she doesnt like him (in which case he must have thought that she played with him), or she is a princess who likes to play with guys. in either case i applaud him to condemn such princess behavior.
tell the girl to grow up and treat adults in an adult way: show love if you feel it, show no love if there is no love. don't play games...
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thank you,Cookie. as a female friend, she is nice and generous, but to guys, she really doesn't know much about guys...the reason why she pretended to be cool is partially because she is not sure the guy's real feeling ( u r right) cuz people around her oftenly say the guy has doezen of GFs...and she told me she really wished he can take more initiative...so sometimes she considered herself a fool if she shows more interest or care....and people consider her HAVE a BF while she acctually not...it's been months since the guy turned to be indefferent, not even a colleague ( I mean basic nice behaviour)...so now she is pain, she tried once to ask him before company dinners, that night, she called me saying that the guy took 3 girls with him, and all of them are "intimate" ,...she was so suprised and sad..shocked.. he used to talk a lot about his family ..seemed frank and honest..deny that he has a GF ..or many gfs....she just began to wonder if it is because he doen't like her at all but he can feel she likes him..she is not a self confident girl though...now she hopes they can at least be nice colleagues...do you think the guy's behavior is cuz of her or just to show he has no interest in her?
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acctually she is not the princess type, maybe she acts like that to men, she is just a coward....well, she is so afraid of "losing face" ...
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hey you always take a risk when trying to get in or already in a relationship. taking a risk (and perhaps losing face) is a natural ingredient to have a relationship. she better understand that and move on
as to the guy, why she cares so much about him now? he has moved on, has no interest in her anymore, doesn't care about her. i think she should forget about him (regardless he is a colleague or not), behave normal to him like to everyone else and just ignore the guys childish behavior (or ignoring her).
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I told her the guy is childish....but she now seems take all responsibility on herself now. and have to see him every day. she behaves nice to him ( just like to anyone else) but he doesn't , and they do sit close...with a bunch of colleauges getting along very well around....his showing indefference to her does hurt her feelings...
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and she is wondering if she can mend this relationship...if she is frank now...
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seems i was comparatively nice before :)
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Maybe there is an office rule about fraternisation?
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He's not into her. Maybe he was in the beggining but when she was playing it cool with the guy he got the message that she wasn't really interested or she was immature. Either way he has moved on. Any guy can find a girl that will play games with him, and he has already moved on to the next girl.
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