Single man, married woman Q.

Take things slowly and see what develops. She will probably be insecure. Reasons for insecurity may include her age. A womans age is a bigger issue in Asia, the fear will be that you will get bored and go off with some young girl. This often happens in China. She may ask questions like 'why do you want to spend time with an old woman when you could be with a young one?' (my chinese wife considered her self old at 40).


If you have not already done so, think about what you want. Do you want a fling, or a long term relationship? Do you want an affair, or if things followed through would you be prepared to marry if the situation presented itself?

It is not unusual for Chinese women to have a boyfriend outside of the marriage, so don't worry about Chinese 'sensibilities' she will do the worrying about that.


Sorry if this next one sounds a bit cyptic. If you think she feels the same way, don't be afraid to tell her what you are thinking. Just don't be explicit, unless invited to give more information.


If she is making an effort to spend time with you, then she is probably interested. If you are just flirting in the staff room this is different. Take the relationship outside.


Does she visit you in your appartment? If she does visit you alone in your apartment then she is probably waiting for you to take things to the next level, and things can move quickly.


I am no expert on relationships but it is food for thought.

Also expect some judgmentalism on this forum. Just ignore it.

I am a Chinese located in Hong Kong but I do believe that having a boyfriend outside marriage is only a minority.


To start an affair with a married woman could be fun, exciting and passionate at the beginning. When a relationship get intimated, thing may not end up as what you planned and expected. Obviously you are not prepared to commit yourself to her and you don't want to change her structured life... you need to seriously think about it before you take the next step.


In the event if her husband or son found out she has an affair, what do you think her life is going to be?? Are you prepared to have the confrontation directly with her family? Do you think you are just a passerby and has no responsibility in her broken marriage?


There is no right or wrong when it comes to an adult relationship. However, being an adult you have to consider the consequences. Or just put yourself onto the shoe of her husband.. are you prepared to share your wife with her "boyfriend" behind your back????


I don't even know you.. there isn't a point to judge you. You are an educated adult, you should have the ability to make an ethical judgement.

I'd go for it. Lots of people (men) travel to Asia for love, romance or sex. If you were back home I'm going to guess you wouldn't have availability to this type of experience. Finally, this woman isn't a naive child. She knows (or should know) what she's getting involved with and she has at some level decided to throw caution to the wind. Be a big boy and have fun with your "big boy".

"I would like to continue and intensify our relationship but have no interest in shifting her life structure towards divorce and remarriage with me.", did u tell her exactly these words, or is it just you intend to play it out.


Be HONEST, tell her what you are expecting from your relationship w/ her... she will decide if she will go ahead to have a relationship with you and risk everything (her husband's love and son's respect), and maybe for nothing...


But I must say, u give me the feeling of u are not in love with her, u just want a fling... why pick a married one where there are loads of single available girls around??

He's not in love with her, not once in his message did he mention love. He want's to play, as long as she's aware of your intentions (or lack of intentions) then what's the problem?

wow.. jobin... you need to be careful with the suggestions made in this forum. People don't have any responsibility for what they have suggested because they are not the one who face the consequences.


If you really look for fun or a fling, there are many 'working' girls in China for you.

You could just tell her that you want to take your relationship to the next level and are worried about what that could mean. Communication is the corner stone to a sucessful relationship. :o)

Any relationship between a married person and someone else always makes the second party subject to decisions between the married person and the spouse.


Id they decide to go on vacation - the second party is left behind; if the married person has an urgent family activity, the second party gets to cancel any planned activity.


People say the person outside the marriage is always the loser. In your case you are the second fiddle.


Go find someone else; if she cheats on her present husband, why not you in the future? Shouldn't be hard to find a partner judging by all the dating web sites in China with so many women looking for spouses, Divorced Chinese women have a preference for Foreigners.

I am with flashback on this one: Never crap where you eat...