How will you choose?

Hi,

People are seeing us having a good life, adorable girl and people might think we are a happy couple. But the truth is I am not happy.

My husband had a girl friend(s) after our 3rd year marriage. And I just couldn't forget it, I was really miserable. Although he seems ok for now, but the fact is we don't sleep together, of course no sex, not much to talk, no family activity. And I am a just a typical girl whose need love and care and respect, which I don't feel I have any for now. Very depress.

I have a six year old little angle, I want her to grow up in a healthy and complete family. So that I am still here.

Now, I am really thinking of my life. Do I want to be like this for the next 40 years? Or... What will you do?

I would get a divorce, which I imagine is a very heart-rending decision.


The reason I made this conclusion is because you say you never have sex with your husband.


He had a girlfriend - some men do cheat but then they realise their mistake and they promise never to cheat again. So this doesn't necessarily have to lead to divorce.


But you say you can't forget. This will affect your trust of your husband, and your happiness in the relationship.


On top of that, there's not much communication between you both, and no sex!


It's a difficult decision when there's children involved, but the adults that I've spoken to - the ones who grew up with parents who were not in love - all say that they wished their parents had gotten divorced. One friend said that his parents were very "polite" to each other, no yelling and arguing. But there was no love.


You want your daughter to grow up in a healthy environment. Then, try to make the divorce as pleasant as possible, and allow her a decent relationship/visiting times with daddy. She'll grow up to be just fine.


This is not just your life that you need to think about - this is your daughter's happiness as well.


I have one friend who got divorced and his daughter was maybe 5 years old. She was totally unaffected by the divorce - I couldn't believe it. She spends every weekend with dad and during the week with mum and just accepted the situation. Now, two years later... both parents have moved on and have married other people and everyone is happy.

I would say go to marriage councelling.


Good communication is key to a sucessful marriage. If you don't know how to talk to him and tell him how you feel, how are you going to be able to work together to solve your problem?


Talk to him. Tell him that cheating on you has really hurt you and you don't trust him. He's not a mind reader. He doesn't know what you're thinking.