Posted by
cookie09
15 yrs ago
move on
- you barely see him and he is using feeble excuses, i think you are his booty call
- you have not met any of his friends, relatives -> booty call
- you don't like to mention marriage anymore, because you know two things already: a) the early mention of marriage was to keep the booty call alive; b) if you bring it up now, he will dump you
- you earn more than him and he has a problem with it; either he faces up to reality or he remains an idiot
sorry, but it's crystal clear: you have to move on
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Cookie is right on the money. You are a booty call if I ever see one.
Give us a break! You are not marriage material in his eyes, but you want him to change because of all those invested years, right? God forbid you were to "accidentally" get pregnant like western women do, but I know you are smarter than that.
Kiddo, leave the guy, move on, and on your next date make sure the guy is family oriented.
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It's totally beyond my imagination that how can you withstand this situation for 7 YEARS! My godness!
In your struggle, there's no need to bother what material he actually sees you, but how you see him and ask yourself what outcome do you want to make happen with this man, since you believe he's genuine and not lying to you (Though none of us here would think so!!). Marriage? as you said you want to settle down with a family?
Then why not bringing up the interesting marriage topic again to see how he responds as the last attempt? If he just fobs you off with some beautiful excuses, then stop fooling yourself and wake up after giving him and yourself this final chance.
Otherwise, if he makes commitment to you then prepare yourself to endure the very same situation. Remember marriage will never make his busy schedule or a man himself changed a bit. But at least you'll finally get to meet his circles of friends and relatives after these 7 YEARS. Congratulations!
I got a feeling that you probably have a decision in mind when posting this thread - as you have already grown from a young innocent girl to a 30s woman after all these 7 YEARS - way long enough to picture what you can get out of this relationship. Perhaps you don't really need much of advice but favourable support from us?
So stay on if you find your time in the past with a busy man though short but good quality, and most importantly endurable. Otherwise end it without regret.
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miserable:
You MUST move on...
I know its hard and difficult for you, but 7 years with no development, i don't think it gonna change in next 7 years.
How do you know he has no other women? i was in the similar situation before for about 1 year, hope we were not dating the same man, since he went to HK frequently, keke ... I am kidding :)
I ended that relationship is not because i met some one else, its because i was not happy. Its better to be alone than in the " miserable" relationship. You know, what he is doing is not important, but whether you are happy in this relationship is matter. Why keep youself sad in this short life ?
As a woman, if i am really happy in a relationship, marriage is really not important to me, i can live with him, even have children with him. But ask yourself first, does this man really deserve your love?
My suggestion is go out, have fun, make friends, think less about him. if he really care about you, he will come back with more effort on this relationship. otherwise, what is your loss if you loss him ?
your life will light up soon...
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What i found in "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU" is just something for kid's love games. and it is a few years old already. i suggest you watch " 500 Days with Summer ". You are just fall in love with the fantasy of your imagine of love. its not real love. I believe this man has some charactor which you are looking for on a mate, and that makes you lost your sense. like the boy in that movie. that's how we grow up.
Just belive in yourself, you do have worth and you will find your Autumn.
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Z
15 yrs ago
And it doesn't matter if he is going through a hard time at work -- you don't owe him anything but a clean break. No drama, just "sorry, I think we've grown apart" and move on.
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This is a really sad story. You are not important to him.
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I'm going to make a really controversial suggestion:
Why don't you suggest moving in with him? You earn more than he does so you will be able to get a nice place with him together. You'd definitely see him more when you live together. I moved in with my fella after we'd been together for one year and I saw him a lot more after that!
Then when he goes out, you can go with him!
I don't know, that's my suggestion. I just think you can't know what someone is thinking just from their actions. Maybe he just doesn't realise how you feel. Men aren't mind readers. Maybe he thinks you're happy with the situation.
The key to a successful relationship is communication.
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Sure no harm in asking to move in or get married, then you will know for sure yourself what the rest of us are so clear about. Love makes you hopeful and if you lose that hope you can move on. Good luck to you.
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Those old value should have gone to tomb together with our great great grandmother hundred years ago. Hope it won't be broght up just because we had our Tomb-sweeping holiday. keke... i am joking...
Luckly my grandmother always told me to follow my heart instead of what other people is saying...
If you don't want get bored in bed with your husband after 2 years marry or you don't want be waken up by baby's crying every night, and wake up with swelling eyes every morning. And you don't want to just sit at home checking your husband's cell phone and computer ... Then don't get marry just for marry itself. I am not saying marriage is not import, but don't take it as the only goal in your life. Life is more than just husband and children.
By the way, the relationship with a man who value your thought will last longer than with the man who value your youth.
I won't say "good luck", coz your luck is in your hands, you can change it.
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this poster said "I am at this stage where I really want to get married and settle down..." I am trying to tell her that marriage should not be the only goal in life, and she can meet the right person at any age. and when she focus on her own life, improve herself from every aspect, she will be noticed by the quality man.
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