Posted by
cutefatboy
15 yrs ago
I think I am in a very similar situation as most of the threads posting here. I met a guy from here (via Asiaxpat Personals) more than 7 months. Back then he replied to my personal ad and that's how we started. However, to cut it short, since then:
1. I never met any of his friends and family
2. I don't know where he lives
3. 2 months during this period he claimed that his mother had an accident and he had to go back home (overseas), so for these 2 months I was not able to see him, except 1-2 times he came back one day during the weekend.
3. after he came back to HK, he claimed that he brought his mother with him to take care of her. Needless to say, I still haven't met his "mother" or knowing where he lives, and the worst is, every time we made out at my place, after that he had to go home in the middle of the night!
4. At least 2 weekends he just completely disconnected from me. Other than his mobile phone number, I don't know any other way to contact him. Everytime he came back with a reason, one time saying that his mother was holding his phone, another time saying that he left his phone with his colleague and not getting back until Monday!
With all of the above, I think all you guys would think I am just a booty call for him, which I truly think so as well. The most recent time he played his "disappearing game" was 3-4 weeks ago, since then I completely stopped any contact with him, and he didn't contact me either. So I think it's clearly over!
I don't know what other advices I need, but this is just very depressing.... or does anyone has any successful story at least to motivate me to move on? I just simply want to find a man to get marry and have children if possible (though I never mention one single word about this to him), and why is it all wrong and always falling into the wrong guy?
Please support our advertisers:
Please support our advertisers:
Problem is you should not hold ONLY one stock at one time, if you are not sure this one will run very well ...
Also, you are looking for the right person in a wrong place. how can you find it ?
Suggest you develop a serious relationship with some one more reliable while take these play boys as your dessert.
Please support our advertisers:
Best case scenario; you're his sparring partner. Worse case scenario; he's married. Either enjoy it for what it is or move on. The situation won't improve. For the record, I'm male and married.
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks to you all, I fully understand my situation, that's why I have decided to drop it, just don't deserve to be a booty call. However, in reality this is very depressing and of course there are always some reasons to be connecting the guy even you know you are just a booty call. For me I do have a lot of common interests with this guy, the way we think about work, things to do, pets, and how we both like to be fit, healthy and in shape. Finding a man is already difficult, and finding a man with so much common interests is just impossible. I think I just want to tell my story as somewhat to release my depression!
I just wonder if there is any successful nice sweet stories of online dating, or any dating in HK, at least just to give me some positive motivation to move on, I really need that.
Please support our advertisers:
Sorry but I hardly see the logic here.
What you are asking for is sucessful stories to motivate you to move on? Does one's success case relate to your own situation? So if I tell you I just had a great date last night with someone on this site, is that anything to do with your future possibility of not meeting the wrong man, and in result suffering depression again?
And why put "Need more male's opinions?" as the subject line? Does male successful stories work better for you in motivation than women's? Sorry I really can't relate, can I ask for more male's opinion on that?
It really doesn't matter how you meet people, because it's the people themselves who work out a relationship.
Please support our advertisers:
Based on the information you gave us, I can guarantee you, 100%, ISO9002, CPA, GMAT and TOEFL, that you are his booty call.
Internet dating can be a great tool. The problem is not with internet, but with HK. Western guys can have pretty women in HK so easily that we just don't really need commitment. Besides, some women need 7 months to wake up to the obvious signs :)
Please support our advertisers:
It would be the norm not to introduce to family someone you've been for only 7 months. Most guys prefer to wait and see how serious the relationship is before an introduction. But, to not meet any of his friends and to not know where he lives is just fishy. If you ask any of your friends, they would all suspect this guy is married/has a girlfriend. The fact that he has to leave in the middle of the night too says the same. Booty call no doubt.
Just learn from this and move on. Do not get serious until you feel it is mutual. And if you are thinking of marriage, don't you think you should get to know the person better? Whether meeting from an online dating site or not, you will come across several men like him, a lot are simply after sex and a good time. In time you will be able to tell which ones are looking for a relationship and which ones are not.
Good luck!
Please support our advertisers:
With regards to success stories of online dating, I know of a couple, good friends of mine, who met through an online dating site. After 5 years of dating, they eventually got married. But that's like 1 is 500,000 I would think. The thing with online is you can lie and most people do. Most would hide the fact that they are married (both men and women), but a lot are also honest with regards to what they are looking for --no strings attached casual sex. If that is what they are looking for, then accept it and have fun with no strings. Do not expect the person to fall in love with you and eventually marry you after having sex even for several months or years.
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks mike204, think your analysis is quite right.
Just I can't stop thinking the whole thing, and one thing I really don't understand, if a guy just want to get a booty call, in HK with so many women, and many of them don't really mind what kind of situation they are in, regardless the guy is married or engaged, then why doesn't he just go to LKF to get a girl? He might not be the Mr. super handsome, but he is tall, fit and with full hair.... I can imagine for him going to LKF to get a girl is very easy. And I bet at the beginning my ad was not the only one he responded, so assuming he needed all effort to meet different women to find the one at least he liked. Then after that we had time together, and even occasionally he would ask me to pay for the dinner, but after all these months, he was still paying majority of them. So there are still some investment in terms of time and money. If a guy just want to get a booty call, in HK I don't think anyone need to make such effort just to get a woman. And for this I am not just saying for myself, if you see other threads here, and even couple of my friends have got similar experience. I just don't understand why would a guy bother to spend time with a woman, then at the same time making excuses/lies to cover him up in the weird situation. And now I am just not a woman who would be somebody's booty call/mistress and decided to leave him, then all his effort are wasted. So in HK, why would guys do that? I am just saying in general, they don't need to, as getting a woman in HK is just so damn easy, why bother to lie?
Again I prefer male's comment, simply I would ignore messages like the one from sexyboop...
Please support our advertisers:
There is a difference between a bootycall/f***buddy, and a one night stand.
With the former, there is also a relationship and there is less 'risk' of waking up next to someone you don't like, getting an STD, or meeting a 'bunny boiler'/stalker.
A relationship has developed, although not heading where both parties want sometimes.
There is also the 'bragging rights' of having a 'mistress', as well as some emotional security for the man.
If the man is married. The man may well love you, as well as loving his wife. But he does not love you enough to throw away his marriage.
Please support our advertisers:
Yes, he got what he wanted. Assuming his cover stories aren't true, then I'd say he's probably fond of you but doesn't want to take it any further. You'll probably get a call in about 3 months when he feels like a change of scenery. He likes you but not to the standard you obviously require. A lot of women - rightly so - find this offensive. However, it sounds like he is trying to let you down gently whilst keeping the door open for a future shag. Don't forget, he had to put in some effort to get you into bed in the first place. LKF is not everyone's cup of tea. There are a lot of gold diggers there.
Please support our advertisers:
You are welcome!
Without the courage and open-mindedness to accept critics (I was not even critising but just asking questions over the doubts!), you will continuously be abused as a booty call or mistress or a fool or whatever disrespectful you like to be called!
Why? Because you still, even now, haven't waken up from your dream. Your second comment told us you are still expecting other "Males" to speak something nice for your man, assuring your own belief that "You are more than just his booty call".
I will stop here, some people are just hopeless. XP
Please support our advertisers:
cfb, I think every1 has given you good advice, even if it isn't what you obviously wish to hear.
Please support our advertisers:
1. he is married or simply just wanting a good f*ck from a woman who looks very depressed and wating a man - u see, men can see through a woman if she is desperate or not. thats when they attack.
2. yes, you are his booty call no doubt about that. you are ONE OF HIS BOOTY CALL - all signs enumerated by yourself in this thread.
3. yes, there are success online dating, and whichever form of meeting someone is null and void, its how the 2 person work out the relationship. But mostly, men are hunters, so u just have to maintain the hunt.
4. Yes, there are lots of internet dating success stories no doubt. Its when a man is looking for a life (down and out and no place to go, jobless, on disability, etc) and a woman is looking for love.
Just for example, many retired, divorced, jobless western men went to the philippines and thailand and stayed there for good after finding a woman online to marry. The purpose is simple. They gotta have a life. So they need someone looking for love. Thats when it makes it easy.
hope this helps
Please support our advertisers:
There are also many well balanced and succesful people (men and women) who use online dating. Reasons for using online dating include: busy life, don't like meeting people in bars, office romance is frowned upon, and don't like the singles dating scene.
The Internet is really good for finding people with at least some common interest before meeting someone.
Yes there are those looking for booty calls, burn-outs, and bunny boilers using the internet. But you are just as likely to meet them in a bar.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail