Posted by
xpatwilier
14 yrs ago
Exhausted reading so many threads on infidelity... are there actually any faithful married people in HK?... if you are one of them, what's the secret to remaining faithful?
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lol, don't assume that the posts here are 'average' but any standard
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no kidding, just was hoping for some more inspiring and cheerful threads... ;)
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ceeh
14 yrs ago
We've been married for over 40 years. Don't know the secret - perhaps we've been lucky??
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I'm with ceeh on this, sheer luck, like two stars colliding. Coming up on three years of monogamy, and everything is still a turn on!
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I know many couples/families who have been together for years and who remain faithful. It's all about friendship and communication and I believe, keeping things hot and sexy whenever you can! Of course, I also know couples/families where there is cheating involved (by the man). It seems like a fair split.
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merm
14 yrs ago
I'm not married but have always been faithful. It all comes down to character and respect i think. There's no recipe.
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I've been with my girlfriend (now wife) for 12 years and have remained faithful.
I completely agree about the respect and character statement made by merm.
It's as simple as treating your partner in the same way that you yourself expect to be treated.
I think alot of the time, (men especially) you need to be honest with yourself and understand that human susceptibility to temptation is normally exacerbated by drinking heavily, whilst being in places that are swarming with women (hostess bars, wanchai, etc.). I avoid all these areas unless business requires it.
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I was taught: "don't do to others what you wouldn't like to be done to yourself" and that always spoke to me. I have been faithful all my life, whether married or not.
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Agree with merm....There's no secret....character, communication, respect, love and genuine appreciation. Never strayed, never thought or been tempted to do so. I love my family too much so would never even dream of doing something to risk losing them and hurting them.
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Agree, it has a lot to do with charachter and communication.
This also connects with how one views the relationship one is in, and how one views the time in Asia.
It is possible to see the holiday mentality of the short term secondees.
Asia is also a place of temptation. Some places are full of temptation, but you don't need to hang out there.
If I feel the need to look at other women and flirt I go to Hooters with a couple of the guys. All the Hooters girls are fun, but are off limits.
I stay out of many bars, wrong kinds of girls.
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I am new to the forums and figured that this might be a great first place to start.
I am not in HK, but my wife is, while my daughter and I are in the US. Even not being together there isn't the slightest thought in my mind. Unlike xpatwilier I can have drinks and be around beautify women propositioning me and not even flicker. . . It is mean to some people to think this, but my woman is the best, and no other would compare. Simple as that.
Why throw away a perfectly happy marriage and life away for a quick piece? Even when we had our marital troubles the though of straying was never the though. It was always "what needs to be fixed?"
If you are in enough of a situation that you feel the need to be unfaithful, why even be in the relationship? Get out, and break the ties, then have your fun and seek your comfort. No sense in making an already bad relationship worst.
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But this thread is about how guys stay faithful. There are already enough threads about why guys cheat. This was supposed to be an anti-dote.
Please don't let this thread get hijacked.
Please.
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Wow! i never thought we would see a thread like this on A.E. Let's stop it now before it goes downhill..
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from personal observation, most of my colleagues cheat on their wives. a few do not, and I sense that they really value the marriage over having some cheap thrills. unfortunately, some business occasions do require trips to karaoke bars and dodgy nightclubs, but the business partners and girls there quickly understand if you are not interested in anything more than having a drink or five.
i also feel that alot of guys really can't control their libido.. i have friends who literally get capitivated when a good looking girl walks past to the point that they are like a dog in search of a bone... almost hypnotized!!! for these guys, i heartily recommend that they accept their own disposition for lack of control and try as much as possible to avoid places of temptation.
i also have many friends who feel that its fine to pay for girls and dont consider it cheating.. just a bit of fun... but for me there's a very simple test as to if whether it's ok or not...
if you are willing to tell your wife about it, then it should be alright to do it...
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Totally agree with your test.
For any type of cheating, from playing cards to tax stuff, etc... the word means deceiving and implies lying.
If not lying is involved, no deceiving is involved, therefore that is not cheating.
Those who think that it is not cheating to go behind your wife's back and do whatever that they'll keep secret from her should open a basic dictionary. Anyway, they really do know they're cheating, they might just be even more coward than those who admits to cheating to themselves.
Ouch, I contribute to turning this thread into the wrong one....
Somebody, save it...!
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merm
14 yrs ago
But since it's a character thing, i also think some people will always cheat no matter how happily attached or married they are.
I think if there's just one person who loves you in the world, it's already too many and too much love already, so there really is no need to cheat. Many have never experienced love and never will, only fun and relationships.
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