Domestic violence

Many years ago my sister's hub & her had fight that lead to domestic violence. She called the police, went to hospital for treatmt, and since the issue of the injury was domestic violence she was encouraged to report more to the police and then social welfare. she gave statement to them they hinted her that he can be arrested but she said she didnt want it that way. instead she opt the social welfare way so they can get counselling and family theraphy.


wife received a domestic violence issue letter -report for her husband but she didnt told him.


they didnt take any family theraphy since the hubby dislike it so they continue living together. unfortunately things arent getting bright either een up to this time. there's no more domestic viol. BUT it's been plagued with non-loving, poor communication, lack of of trust, financial infidelity among others.


So she want to end it. And there's 3 impt things she wanted to ask. #1. she's afraid of her chances of getting the most of care & control for child since she's not as financially prepared as my bro in law. She's employed and can raise the kid but is afraid that if my(BIN) contest she would loose the kid. Since He earns really way up vs her. #2. Do you think the previous domestic viol case can help her get advantage in court? #3. She's a middle income earning employee but not qualified thru legal aid so she's kinda hesitant to hire a lawyer.


Can we help her sort out these 2 issues (or maybe misonceptions) she had?

If any more abuse, immediately contact the police. As regards lawyers, they are not that expensive as this is criminal not civil. I'm sure she would have a good chance of custody especially if he receives a conviction for assualt.

she will get half of the family money (his money) and custody of the child, especially since she has that letter to prove that he is violent. No problem at all. In matters of custody it does NOT matter if she has less money than him, as he is required to provide for his child if they are divorced or not. (alimony)

Fortunately there's not anymore domestic viol after that 1 occurence. But the poor communication and unsettled issues of incompatibility hurts both + kid. I saw the letter from the police and it seems to be sort of "complaint" only bec as earlier said she did not pursue for pressing charges as per offer by police.


Also she got a diary of him with some notes wich he describe himself with the following traits: can be violent, putting blame on others, difficult to get along, focuse on material things etc etc. I hope that this can also help her prove that he himself acknowldge those negeative traits.


Thanks thanks for both replies. I hope there's more who can at least give light or any info. We keep on waiting. It encourages her to pursue the separation the soonest.

"In matters of custody it does NOT matter if she has less money than him, as he is required to provide for his child if they are divorced or not. (alimony)"


No - not correct. Alimony (spousal maintenance) is not child support. Alimony is a monthly payment to a former spouse and is usually on TOP of child support. If hubby ends up in jail without a monthly income then neither alimony or child support will be paid and a child will grow up without a father... Everybody loses out. It is very much a last resort.


In 90% of cases the mother ends up with custody of children. The best option for the mother is to apply for a restraining order / non-molestation order against the hubby if she fears further violence. Everyone will know where they stand and arrangements can be made for the father to see the child(ren) without having to see the mother.


I knew about an absolutely horrible case in the UK where the mother persistently denied child access to her estranged husband in spite of a court order. The husband wrongly and stupidly took the law in to his own hands and would try to beat the door down to see his children rather than take the mother to court. The police were called several times and eventually (and somewhat inevitably) a restraining order was made against the husband.


The mother continued to deny the father access to the children and the father again tried to gain access to the former matrimonial home to see his daughters. The Police were again involved and this time the father was jailed.


The mother was non-working and totally reliant on her estranged husband to pay the mortage and child support. Once he was in jail he could do neither and the family home was eventually repossessed. The mother and children were eventually re-housed by the local authority but it is a good example of what can go wrong in these circumstances.

If things aren't working out as you say through growing apart etc, by all means sperate/divorce; but it would be be unethical to use what was a one-off mistake as ammo to challenge custodial rights.