Wrong / not

Married guys take their rings off before finding friends.

exactly! lol


take that ring off

I knew a guy, a serial womanizer... When his wife cottoned on to what was happening she asked him to wear a wedding ring. Apparently when he did this, his "hit rate" went up, since the wedding ring did not bother women who wanted to fool around, but prevented him from wasting time on those looking for LTR.

I guess it takes all types of people to make the world.

Why don't u make up ur mind abt wot u really want first? It's either keep the marriage / ring, then don't flirt, OR trash the marriage / ring, go flirt and find someone. Nothing's ever sure in life.... but one thing u can be sure is that u'll be unhappy wi ur current one.


So just get over him, and move on.... the only thing that's keeping u from meeting a new one is urself..... Staying wi ur current one will make u give out different/bad vibe.... plus, u'll be tagged as "cheater".... so why risk it?

I personally feel if you're going to cheat, what's the point of being married? This chap sounds like a total knob and if he has such little regard for yourself, he probably has very low self-respect. If we all start doing an eye for an eye, the world will end up blind.


I think you should leave him and just live as a single person for a while. Figure out why you started dating someone like that in the first place and identify strategies for avoiding that sort of person in the future.

Totally agree with PupMonkey.... A lot of people tend to think "It's better than nothing" but seriously.... believe me.... sometimes "Nothing is better".....

When there is no more faithfulness in a marriage, why you are even bothered by being wrong or not? Just take off the ring and have fun, if it suits your circumstances. But just remember, whatever you do to him-your husband, he is doing the same to you, vice versa.

Out of curiosity u siad "I've been with my hubby for 5years now. we quiet happy couple in three years ago. but it turn sour after i know that he might not the one for me. hes been cheating on me for many times! and let me to find out about it. and he dont feel guilty or sorry to me."


1) r u sure he was happy during that first 3 yrs out of 5? or were u the only one blindedly happy?

2)he's been cheating many times and let u find out and he doesn't feel guilty or sorry?? When a man let a women find out and is not feeling sorry or guilty abt it, it means he's 100+10% done with u.... I don't think this is the case of whether u wanna stay wi him as u r not sure abt finding a less-worse one... but it means he wants u OUT.

sh*t-Happens > Valid Point. There is always plenty of blame to go around, and when one party thinks everything is fine until they are surprised, it's often because they are totally ignorant of their partners feelings.

Leave him! There's nothing wrong with being single for a while. He's treating you like this because you're willing to put up with it! Why do you want to waste your time being married? It's like going back in time 300 years when people got married just for procreation!


Be single for a while. It might be fun.

stubby.... hanging out to chill to foget (as u wrote above) and going out to bar to go wild and bad (again as u wrote above) is two very different thing....


Going wild and bad won't make thigs rite nor would it make u feel better.... nor taking the ring off will make things any different that it is now.... The only person who can make difference and makr urself happier (in longer term) is urself....


Totally agree wi PupMonkey.... try being single for awhile.... It's not bad at all.... it's actually liberating sometimes.... U can/might be able to find ur lost self.... :)


Gd luck!!

If I were you, I will take off that ring, get busy with your own life, BUT NOT yet go out and flirt.


If I do choose to flirt, I will take off that ring and get a divorce and start the flirting.


If I wanted to maintain my sanity, I will live my life happy, stay busy and single for a while until love FINDS ME.


Mistake you can make now: Flirt and get a new man. Let me tell you why: because thats what your husband wants you to do in the first place. he wants you to find a man and then he can have all the reason in the world to file for divorce.


Cool down.


relax.


Breath easy.


Make yourself beautiful inside and out and let that useless husband of yours do his thing.


and take off that ring now and stay calm.


be hunted back; maintain the hunt.


Yes, I also do believe, he wasnt really in love with you when he married you. bec what he is doing now is hurt you. he cannot just love you. he also cannot respect you.


but now isnt the time to get a new man. yes, a man can go out flirt, get a woman aftr another and not have feelings for anyone of them. they can even marry you and not have feelings for you. but a woman will always do it for love. so remember, when you go out and flirt and get a new man while still married, the cards will be against you.


now take off that ring now.

Stubby. Please be more succint. Too much information.

Ok, so this dude probably cheated on his ex wife too.


Why aren't you leaving him?


Do you have a job?


Or are you totally dependent on him?


I ask because, lord knows, I am having a very hard time trying to figure out why any woman in their right mind would sit there saying "but I love him" to this kinda situation! I am sure if you weren't financially dependent on this loser, you would be able to fathom a way out of your crappy marriage without sounding like you are trapped.


Maybe his ex-wife ruined his life, but he is ruining yours. Have you thought about it? *SMH*

Ok, so then we have established at least some more of the flesh of the whole story, right?


As Loyd said, you have a lot to write, but the meat and potatoes of the story still seem to be missing.


So now we know that you work. And you know your husband's ex. Are we to assume you know her personally? Or you know her from your husband's parents telling you about her? And if so, what did they tell you about her? And what do her letters tell you about her and the way your husband treated her? (Odder still, how did you get about reading someone elses letters? Did your hubby tell you to read them? Sounds like something that would do more damage than good!)


No one is calling you lazy. I think "not thinking clearly" could be thrown about. But I was asking if you work because you seem to have the thought processes of someone with way too much time on your hands...and plus, it makes no sense why someone would choose to stay in an unhappy relationship, marriage or not, where they are considering cheating because they are being cheated on...unless somehow they were stuck in a corner.


If I got this correctly...your husband has been cheating, you have found out, and he has not given a shizz that you found out. Matter of fact, he could care less what you think. And you are, for all intensive purposes, a self supporting, independent woman, and you are hurt by his blatant lack of respect for your emotional and physical well being...and so in order to set things right, your solution is to find a way to "flirt" with other guys? And you are surprised or even hurt that you wearing your wedding ring is hurting your "game".


Where is the solution there?


I know you aren't lazy, so I am sure you can come out with a far better plan than that. What do you think you are going through right now? I mean, its not anything new, all you have to do is read the AX threads and they are all kinda the same. Do you have kids? I was wondering maybe you have kids, so it would make it harder to leave...but you never mentioned any. So it really puzzeled me why you still stick with someone who treats you so bad.


Ah well, its your life. You know that the only person who will take care of you, is you. If you choose to be badly treated, you can at least know who put you in that situation, maybe someone else...but for you to stay in that, its only you.

it seems your husband has become a misogynist as a result of his first marriage. he now goes around abusing women as some kind of revenge. Very sad for you - good luck sorting things out.