I am sure variants of this question has been asked before, but from what I have read, nothing really answers my questions.
Although I (healthy in mind and body male expat engineer) have been in HK for over a decade, recently divorced and have no idea about the dating scene outside of bars. I cannot rely on the work scene (very few single females at a large engineering firm) or friend of a friend.
The websites I know about (AFF, tagged, hi5) seem to be a mix of ONS or immediate marriage. Even some of the ads on Asia expat seem to be looking for the perfect wealthy prince, ....
Does anyone have any suggestions of where an engineering introvert can find a good LTR? Clubs, meeting nights, websites, etc. Expat women, Asian women, single mothers; doesn't matter--looking for the one that has the right mix of everything....
Thanks in advance
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Expat_engineer, I have a similar problem like yours. Going through internet is a pure trial and error. In Asiaxpat, there are more women posted to look for a man than the other way. Perhaps you should post a ad in Asiaxpat and you will get a lot of responses.
I always think it is more difficult for a woman to look for a man, esp one who does not look for ONS.
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Well, another story here... I have been with a man whom I met from Asiaexpat for a year. He was not looking for ONS, he was looking for MNS (many nights...). It's just impossible to find a decent man here. I have been trying to break up with him few times because he never disclosed who he is, where he lives, etc, but he has been continuously coming back to me. I have been trying to find someone else too, but there is just NO ONE. So yes it's much more difficult for women to find a decent men, so in contrary, it should be easy for a man finding a woman!
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ODS
14 yrs ago
well I would say most guys are only into ONS until they realized they are also getting old and need someone to share life with. I don't think there will be a particular place you can meet nice ladies, but I do see a lot of single female compare to single male in HK. Just that 'look' isn't everything.
I think you will need to join some sport group or friend's house party or junk trip and get to talk to the ladies. In place like LKF you can't possibly have a "real" conversation (soho or bars that a little quiet may do,) If they are only pretty but empty inside the relationship wouldn't least for long - but of course, a lot of women with intelligent and are good looking too, but they may not be the skinny and well dress type of women in LKF, whom men would go to talk to them first.
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So........first of all why do you want to engage into another long-term or serious relationship with a woman regardless of if she's expat, asian or even a single mother after RECENTLY divorced?
And no clue about dating scene here after being in HK for over a decade, while your criteria is so loose?
Alright in case you are for real then joining interest groups is a good one - that's where I met my sweetheart boyfriend who loves me dearly. Never tried the ad on Asiaxpat, and just once met an old pilot so far merely for a couple of dates via this site. From my experience as a girl, those guys met in bars can only be friends or kept as suitors.
I am surrounded by typical very kind but boring engineers which accounts 90% of number in my company, and they are almost all married, so don't see any problem in getting in relationship for introverts if you are genuine?
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ODS
14 yrs ago
wow sexyboop ... you wake me (and perhaps a few others) up when you get to those points ... very well said
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Thanks for the advice and suggestions.
Being somewhat of an introverted engineer makes it difficult to go out to parties, bars, and whatnot. Being mid-aged (40), am not interested in the short-term relationships since if I invest my time and energy into the relationship, want something that is meaningful and lasts. Similar to financial investments; not interested in the high-risk short-term investment...
Clubs are a possibility, though am guessing an engineering club is probably not the right place to look. Tried hiking clubs in the past, but most members seemed to be married already. The hash clubs require waking up before dawn, and the cycling clubs are filled with guys....
Anyways, enough of my complaining, time to celebrate Christmas...by reading some nice books curled up under some warm blankets.
Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.
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Expat_engineer
If you look at the Chinese websites, most of the women will say they are looking for marriage. But I think this wording is cultural, it is a way of saying, not looking for one night stands (ONS).
I think that it is the local equivalent of saying looking for long term relatioinship (LTR). From my Chinese friends I understand that marriage is the end goal, it sounds like it is your end goal (in life, not neccessarily in the current/iminent relationship). Difference is that here they state it, in Europe it scares people off.
The reality (in mainland China) when it comes to premarital sex China is no different to Europe.
I have learned a little bit, not a lot, siince coming to mainland China. I think it may apply in HK too:
There are many young single (never married) women in China with unrealistic expectations of what marriage is.
There are many older (30+), single, very succesful career women, who would be very happy with a stay at home kind of guy.
There are many attractive divorced Chinese women, who's husbands ran off with a young girl, who would also be very happy with a stay at home kind of guy.
Don't let the words 'looking for marriage' put you off.
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Don't you think it's a bit sad to post an ad to look for a girlfriend? It takes all the fun out the chase! I met my fiancé in a club. You've got to get out there. LKF isn't always the best place but there are some nice bars in WanChai, that's where I drink.
Read Neil StraussThe Game for tips on meeting girls, he used to be shy. I read my fiance's copy and it really does work. Not just to get laid but it's good for just meeting a woman.
Good luck!
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Thanks you for that hkluck. I met my fiancé in a bar. That's not gaming out, that's a relationship. For 8 years. Stereotypes are designed to be disproved!
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It's my first time surfing this site and the first page that I came across to was yours. From my own dating experience, introvert or extrovert, the dating scene in Hong Kong is tough. I am in my 30's and everyone around me can't understand why i still have not found the right one. My ex feared settling down due to a recent divorce, so am surprised to hear a recently divorcee like yourself looking for LTR. I believe there is someone out there, it's just a matter of time. Why not try to enjoy life as a single for now?
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Dear expat_engineer,
I agree with RedPanda...there is someone out there, it's just a matter of time. And you when you are not looking... there someone comes seems strikes you. Enjoy your single life...Am enjoying single life for almost 11 years...
best wishes
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