Alone



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by zonked 13 yrs ago
It's Friday evening and I am alone at home. It's been so long I have been like this. Normally I am so busy that this thought bothers little but then there are times when I do want to be with that special one, not just friends.


I cannot create that some"one" and I won't bump into "him" and I do not want to go out there looking for "him" either....


So I just keep on being alone.... but till when? Forever??


Does anyone else find herself/himself in the position I describe or is it just me?


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COMMENTS
paris2005 13 yrs ago
i'm in the same situation as u do. this is life!

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zonked 13 yrs ago
So what is your story?

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Ed 13 yrs ago
http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/women-only/threads/139999/attention:-all-single-women-in-hong-kong/

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Amparo Kia 13 yrs ago
zonked and paris, I am in the same situation, after some unsuccessful short relationships, I have accepted that such arrangement is part of life, I am busy with my work, and whatever time I have left, i pursue my hobbies and interest, it did give me some satisfaction but the feeling of loneliness is there. I found looking for that someone is difficult...

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zonked 13 yrs ago
Done that for so very long... busy, hobbies, movies/shows, dining-wining, hiking, travelling... all on my own. Now do not even want to do any of it, by myself, and so find myself even more lonely! Really feel the need to do with the "one".

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My Hong Kong 13 yrs ago
I cannot create that some"one" and I won't bump into "him" and I do not want to go out there looking for "him" either....


Ummm...just date...I mean...meet men. Don't even call these meetings...dates. Eventually, you will come across someone who will leave you with a feeling...hey, he is interesting...it would be nice to see him again...and again...and again...

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Justin Credible (Part Deux) 13 yrs ago
I agree with My Hong Kong. Even though dating is overrated and can be highly stressful, it can be fun!

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oldspiceman 13 yrs ago
I guess its not just the case of women...men too feel that way...especially professionals who are new in Hong Kong or stuck up with their jobs and the time they reach home...they have no idea why livin such a lonely life n how come they didnt meet the Mr right or Ms. right yet...I tried clubbing, honestly it was quite depressing...LOL , in Hong Kong you actually dont find single women coming to bar/clubs for a drink...they always have someone or bunch of guys with them and I wonder how to differentiate which one is single... :P

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Edison35 13 yrs ago
Hi Zonked, Paris2005 and Amparo Kia,


Just a thought, but why don't you ladies get together on a Friday night soon and have a night on the town. At the very least, each one of you will get to meet two other nice ladies, have a few drinks and hopefully, really enjoy the evening.


In a best case scenario, each of you might even bump into someone interesting. Who know, this is Hong Kong. Anything can happen. The thing is to get out there.


What do you say?


Cheers :)



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MJ1 13 yrs ago
I don't think Zonked, Paris and Amparo have a lack of friends to hit the town with (I'm sure they have plenty of friends), it appears they've just lost interest in hitting the town due to past experiences...they rather spend their time on their hobbies/interests, which is fair enough...


I say, don't worry too much, try to join some clubs/networks associated with your hobbies/interests, that way, you'll have a greater chance of meeting like minded people.

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My Hong Kong 13 yrs ago
Yes, hoyo summed it up just right!

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zonked 13 yrs ago


Even to the others who have given advice on dating on this thread -- I did not ask for help of any kind guys! Was just trying to unburden and connect with people in similar situation. Not all threads lead to dating!!

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Justin Credible (Part Deux) 13 yrs ago
p.mason is right. Where you don't need to date you can always fill with platonic friendships. I have a lot of single friends who are in swing dancing clubs, or (and no, this is no joke) dodge ball associations, rock climbing, drum circles...pshhh, the lot. I mean it. These same peeps go to ALL these activities. There is never a dull moment in their lives! And believe it or not, over time, they have all found someone special and gotten engaged or married and its usually through these social clubs and being part of it for over a year.


None of them joined these clubs in the hope of finding true love, they just wanted to dance, climb, drum or dodge balls (sounds wrong, I know), but hey...you always win if you are proactive in life. :) If you don't find true love at least you can find fitness and fun.

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zonked 13 yrs ago
Dear JC, you always want to have the last word (rather post!), don't you?

But read through what I have written.


It is not that I do not have friedns or activities to do, but the lack of some"one" has actually triggered not wanting to do those things! I want that "one" to be with me!

I used to hike every weekend a few years back, but then stopped enjoying doing it with friends, and it became less frequent, to the extend that this year I did not hike at all!! Been a whole year without hiking and I do not feel like it -- something I enjoyed so very much!


ANd so is the case with many other things -- going out to drink, eating out, etc. It's not like I have become totally unsocial, but it all seems so useless and fake without that "one" person in my life.


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zonked 13 yrs ago


Busy and Alone.

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Amparo Kia 13 yrs ago
yes, busy and alone...


Life is tough, specially in HK, one got to earn a living, unfortunately, it strains relationship or sometimes it just simply won't work because your partner do not understand why you are always busy (sigh!!)

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merm 13 yrs ago
I'm single as well. It's the girls and the guys in this city. I'd just never be able to bring myself to hit on somebody like some mainland weekenders/whores or locals shamelessly do, especially those from Kowloon or the NT. In clubs they'd come up to men who are obviously with me and start putting their hands on them or dancing as if they were battery operated. Guys who are looking for fun, not all but some are, don't really mind and so go for it. They feel flattered and fail to connect that with a passport or wanting to set foot in an appartment in a nicer neighbourhood even if just for a night. Some girls manage to move in too. My neighbours are one such couple. And quite often these girls aren't pretty by local standard, they just pile on make up and aren't as fat as western girls.

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Justin Credible (Part Deux) 13 yrs ago
zonked - just curious then, why did you post on here? I gave your post the time of day, read it, and unless all you wanted to do was have an open whinge without a need for a solution or "Advice" (being as this is an advice forum) of any kind, it would make sense that there are people (not just myself, read a few of the other posts) who are trying to pick your spirits up by suggesting that life isn't really all that bleak or doesn't have to be. If you are not having a whinge, then what exactly did you want in terms of a response? More people to just say "Me too?" or *shrug*. I am not entirely sure what the true purpose of this thread was then, so for that confusion, I apologize.

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sexyboop 13 yrs ago
Babies, throughout the whole Easter Holiday most of the time I have been staying home alone and can't be any happier for having some rest!


You can fill your life with relationships, hobbies, outings and many other things. After all, we all have to learn to be a happy loner!

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sp517 13 yrs ago
Don't believe in this foul world there is anyone with 100% unconditional real love for the other, probably the sure cure for this!

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randhr 12 yrs ago
I am in the same situation, been here for almost 6 years and its just work and going out with friends etc and granted my friends are wonderful and we have great times together but I would love to meet a nice guy and be in a great relationship and its really difficult. I am tall attractive and intelligent with a great sense of humour but in Hongkong it is difficult to meet men

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hk6279 12 yrs ago
Randhr, Feel free to message me...

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fascinated asian 12 yrs ago
Does the world gonna lose senses? Lets try help to find out! What does Essential needed to stand into good relationship? such as?

- honesty - trustworthy - love - caring - adherence - good communication - open minded.

Thought those essential I wrapped properly into, but i don't know still what he/she looking for out of their relationship. Fun?? does there is any biggest exciting fun???

I have been in relationship, but was end up by cheating. Should we honest if he/she is untrustworthy? why we care and keep good communication to him/her? because of wanted his/her adherence...? do we need open minded to think over it? all those questions are still around in my mind. Its been really made me confused. i have to check out what is they looking for out of their own relationship... any suggestion??

Currently i m in Hong kong, and unfortunately i have few friend. I can't start new relationship yet..so everyday i just work,try make my self busy into stuff, chat with strangers , and go out sometime for a wine. enjoy my own days...as i m loneliness..

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adele78 12 yrs ago
randhr, I don't think it's hard to meet men. Picking up is hardly a challenge but who wants one night stands? (rhetorical question, please don't answer!) I just think it takes a lot of time and effort to sort through the players and a***holes to find someone genuine.


I'm at the end of a 10 year relationship but not yet ready to get back on the market or look for someone new. The thought that troubles me the most is that when I am ready, I'll be worried that the guy showing interest in me has a wife/girlfriend/family he's not telling me about. I've seen it happen to friends both as the wife being cheated on and as the new interest who finds out about the guy's other life a few months down the track after she starts to develop feelings for him.

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CaptDave 12 yrs ago
Merm >> you wrote that some women shamelessly flirt with men. and men feel flattered and fail to connect that with a passport or wanting to set foot in an appartment in a nicer neighbourhood even if just for a night.

Well, I don't frequent such places, but I've heard about it.


Let me say this : You're dead wrong. The men understand it completely. And they like it. And what's wrong with that ?

What woman wouldn't prefer a man who can take care of them ?

Why shouldn't a man be happy when a woman shows interest in him ?

Are women supposed to be ice queens, devoid of passion ?


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Mickey Dance 12 yrs ago
I have fewer feeling to the her, and I often enjoy the time by myself or with friends, rather to her

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berrytree 12 yrs ago
Is there a dating library or well-organized hiking group in Hong Kong? I'm new here. I like reading, music, movies and hiking. Would love to meet the guys with similar hobbies. Thanks in advance for providing info.


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