Hi all,
I am f/26 yr old of Indian origin and have been here for about 4 years, and have been single for about a year a half. While discussing with my various single female friends of various nationalities, I have realised that the following most expat men prefer ONS or Chinese women. That being said even my Chinese friends find it difficult to find a decent man for a LTR. Am I wrong is judging so?
Please support our advertisers:
Most of my male friends are of the settled down type (now). But back when they weren't, there was only one of my friends who was the ONS type although I would hardly say "quality" was what he was looking for.
You may simply be looking in all the wrong places and hence surrounded by all the wrong kind of guys. The right kind of guy, the one you are saying is elusive, will not be found out there groping in the nearest bar. More likely he is (a) already taken (b) fed up of the whole bar/club scene (c) too busy to bother (d) enjoying his own company.
But in a way you are right, it is hard to find a decent man, or really, a decent woman, but that is a universal problem, not just one for HK.
Please support our advertisers:
Most expat men do not prefer ONS or Chinese Women. Perhaps a lot of the men you have been mixing with. But where have you and your friends been mixing?
To back up what JC has said. You probably haven't been able to mix with the average Joe expat. And may have overlooked the guy the corner who is too short, not well dressed enough, not good looking enough, paunch, balding. I have news for you, the average man is not Jude Law, and the Jude Laws of this world do not make the most faithful mates.
Here is an interesting article "Do Ugly Men Make Better Mates" http://glo.msn.com/relationships/dating-down-1533626.story?gt1=49006
I do get so fed up when I see postings about expat men who are bald, middle aged, fat, perverts. How can your body shape determine who you are. Don't fall into the trap of only looking at the 'beautiful people' Beauty is only skin deep, don't be shallow.
Please support our advertisers:
Maybe we are trapped in a bubble and can only meet people within the same level, we will only like people with similar level of problems... and what we are want is outside our bubble... but can't achieve it as those people are better than ourselves and they don't want us.
Please support our advertisers:
@Fenix2
Richer perhaps, better dress sense, better looking even.
But better?
I don't think so. There are good people in every walk of life. I know many unhappy wealthy people, and also know unpleasant people in every social class, and the ratios are about the same across the board.
Please support our advertisers:
So true, tigerbay. I know folks who have had it all (moneywise) and lost it all...and somehow sit there through the unhappiness that was the only common thread and believe if only they earned all that money back, they would be happy. Happy in their lousy marriages, happy with their messed up kids, happy with life. But hey, thats for another discussion. :)
In this particular case its just the obvious really. Where OP is at right now is the "pre-epiphany" stage. The stage where she has gotten tired of the scene she initially enjoyed because now she sees it for what it is. In order to find that supposedly elusive decent guy she will learn she has to think outside of the bubble and actually make some effort to make the search worthwhile.
Please support our advertisers:
Tigerbay
By better, I mean better EQ, people that are in peace.
If you are an emotional wreck someone, people that in far better emotional state are not going to want to be involved in you, you will typically find someone of your same level. The problem is that we are all greedy and we want want we can't get and often are too lazy or scared to improve ourselves.
Please support our advertisers:
I constantly hear stories from women who met some guy in a bar, and he turned out to be (surprise!) the kind of man who hangs out in bars meeting women. well DUH !
Any woman who wants to find a decent man needs to stop looking in bars, but instead develop some other interests in her life - tennis, hiking, church, chess, whatever ! - and she will find men naturally thru this avenue.
Please support our advertisers:
sk76
13 yrs ago
I thought I had found the man of my dreams and we were happy until his family began to interfere. Long story short, he was asked to choose between me and the rest of his whole family. In the end he couldn't risk losing his entire family and walked away.
Just goes to show the perfect man might exist but he wont come with a grt family!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi all,
I know there were successfully cases in finding decent men in the bars, but, when talking about possibilty, it is relatively low.
Sangeetaamaldev, you are only 26 years old, you are still young, you have much opportunities and time to find a decent man, don't worry too much.
sk76, I can feel that you are a strong woman. :)
Please support our advertisers:
Hi All,
Remember how Denmark princess Mary found her prince in a bar ? Well, nothing is impossible, i guess :)
Please support our advertisers:
As an observer, outside the dating game, I would say that Western men of any ethic origin visiting Hong Kong to tend to prefer Oriental women.
I met my husband-to-be in a bar in the UK, so I don't knock meeting someone in a bar. However, in Hong Kong specifically, I do think it's quite hard.
Meeting men in a bar is very different in Hong Kong to in the UK. I feel like in the UK there is the potential to meet a husband in a bar, but not so in Hong Kong.
Perhaps OP could try local bars rather than bars visited by expats. I noticed when I went to ING (showing my age) the Chinese chaps wouldn't talk to me (I think they assume white girls aren't interested in Chinese men) but if I went to chat to them they'd definitely respond. Especially if you speak Chinese.
Please support our advertisers:
sk76 - just think about what you wrote. Maybe it's no one's fault in that situation. You weren't suited for him because his values and principles don't match with yours. Family is first for the guy, how about you?
Please support our advertisers:
Long story short, I'm 21 years old and basically never had a boyfriend. I've never genuinely kissed a guy or had a long-standing relationship with one. If my love life could be a picture, it'd be of a dust bowl.
My friends have boyfriends (one of them met her bf online, which I'm NOT willing to do) and have lost their virginity, except me. My 19 year old sister has gone further than I have with guys!
I'm quite shy and reserved, and not into the drinking scene. I'm in college and catching up on my major (I switched my major in the spring of my sophomore year) and am trying to maintain a 3.5 GPA so I can get into a good Nutrition MS program in state.
I'll be a senior this year, and even though I'll be at school an extra semester, I'd like to make it count. I don't know if there's something about me I could change that would get me "noticed" more, but on the other hand, I like who I am and wouldn't change a thing about me. I feel like all the guys on campus just wanna party and get drunk, and I'm so NOT into that! It's really frustrating.
My mom keeps telling me "you need to go find someone! Just keep an open mind, etc." and it's annoying, because I know she feels embarrassed that she has a 21 year old daughter who's never had a bf.
Sorry this is a long post, but I'm so consumed with school work and trying to maintain my GPA so I can get into the graduate school I want that I have 0 experience in the dating field, and would just like some tips maybe. To sum it all up, how can I find someone for me, and how the heck do I deal with comments from my mom about this subject?!
http://www.dateupscale.com/how-to-find-a-man.htm
Please support our advertisers:
JimmyjJohn, Firstly, you have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrased about. The kind of people you meet "getting wasted" are not the kind of people you'd want to spend the rest of your life with. I don't think you're missing much.
The key to meeting people is shared interestes and experiences. That can be getting drunk, but it could also be something else - Tennis, Chess, Church, Hiking, or some other interest. You need to develop something outside your academic persuits and use this to meet suitable men.
Good Luck.
Please support our advertisers:
Huge respect for you Jimmyjjohn,, stay the way you are and never give in to a guy who pressure you to have sex....be different , i tell you , secretly all the party animals actually admire you ...tell your mom to relax , you still young ......
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail