it was a biggest mistake and i wonder what i can do at this stage to start the process, even though i know petition can only be filed after one year. no kid, but my hundsbund doesnt not agree.
thanks for kind advise
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There's nothing you can do but wait for 1 year, and file the petition.
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Not really, by law, u can divorce after 1 year's seperation if both parties agree, if the other party doesn't agree, you'll have to have 2 year's seperation. There are, of course, other "reasons" in which you may apply, eg, violence, adultery etc. You can also apply for anullment if you have sufficient reaons (eg. he did not do the husband part, in which you have to prove that you never had sex with him after marriage). That's all I can tell you at the moment coz I don't know what your "mistake" is. Send me a pm is you'd like to let me know about your "mistake"
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marriage is not like shopping where you have Buyer's remorse.
have patience and try to work on your marriage
when two individuals marry they have a lot of things which they may like/dislike about each other and sometime it takes years for the couple to settle down.
have some patience and see how things work out...
BTW why you want to divorce him within just 4 months of your marriage?
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You can apply for judicial separation first, and settle all issues. Then finalize by applying for divorce after the year is full. Depending on if both agree or not, and what are the reasons behind the divorce, you may need to first be separated for two years.
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i disagree with oly88's advise.
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I believe OP said she made a "mistake" and the mistake, as most would have figured, is getting married in the first place!
It happens. We don't know how old OP is, or how long she knew her husband before getting married, or whether she was all pie eyed (like a LOT of women) thinking marriage was this beautiful final destination in life, only to find out it played out like FINAL DESTINATION, the movie!
I think, and I love saying this, everyone should get married at least once in life, you know, to see what the whole big hoo haa is all about. But hey, thats only if they dont want to hear about how they should "wait" and "think long and hard about it" or "be sure to be sure" from all those people who made the same "mistake" and have paid for it in blood, sweat, tears and cold hard cash.
Divorce sucks...but to OP, I say that as much as you are in a hurry to put this mistake behind you, legally you will need to wait a year (or two, if he refuses to give you a divorce), and hey, like in Monopoly where you have to "go straight to jail", this wait is the penance you pay for doing the crime. You got married in a jiffy, split in a jiffy, now you have a year or two to sit there and truly contemplate what, where and how you made such a huge mistake, and maybe next time you will remember what you learned and not make the same mistake again...maybe.
Besides, why the hurry? Unless you are planning on getting married to someone else, you can sit out the wait time until you get your divorce. I would recommend living in separate houses first in order to set the ball of separation in motion, you will (eventually) need to prove you were indeed separated and living separately for the period of a year or two.
Hmmm, well, good luck to you.
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And before anyone goes saying I am all down on marriage, I am not. I believe there are marriages that work and are well suited to the individuals in them...the sad truth is that I have seen so few of these types of marriages that I do tend to look at the majority and comment from that standpoint.
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I agree with Oly88.....he has first hand experience unlike other experts here. Although there's no question each situation has its own circumstances.
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slimboyinhk
Oly88 got experience in leaving a relation and getting divorced
you can break any relation you want any time you want and that is no big deal
and the other experts here have experience in staying married and working on it and make it work, unlike the other non-experts here who shout DIVORCE, RUN, DIVORCE, LEAVE, LEAVE, BIG MISTAKE etc etc..
big deal is in working on a relation and in sacrifice to make things work.
breaking a relation experience is no experience.
get some experience in making things work when there was no hope and then it will count towards an experience which will count..
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I'm with Oly88. Sorry...
But then again, I am also an atheist who doesnt believe that there is some wonderful heaven as a reward for all thesh*t I put up with out here on earth, and I believe that even if there was a whole buddhist world of reincarnation, I wont remember my past life, so for now, this is it. I only have this one life, I only have this one chance to make the most of the blood that courses through my veins and the heart that beats within me...so I am not going to waste it being miserable.
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Oly88
how do you figure out within 4 months that you are going to live miserably forever and it wont work? 4 months is too short for any relation to work.
@JC(PD)
that's a nice excuse.. hope you enjoy the only life you have
leave the job of being miserable to the stupid believers..
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Mate, you took the words right out of my mouth!
Although, not sure I would have been able to put it that succinctly. And I would never have called believers stupid either. I think we all have our own belief systems but I do tend to think that people who subscribe to a specific faith system (religion) tend to endure through crap marriages even more than most. Just my observation...as they tend to think there is a divine higher power that is somehow "Testing" them by putting them in a situation of misery and by persevering even through immense hardship, somehow there ought to be some promised reward.
*shrug*...is that stupid? To some, sure. But to the person who believes, its the backbone of their existence. So I cant sit there and stop them from believing, its simply not my cup of chai, is all. I am more of a non-believer really, atheist is such a harsh word. And being an non-believer is not some giant cop-out, as you say, some kind of "excuse", its genuinely what I subscribe to. And my opinion isn't my excuse on why I think misery is pointless, its how I genuinely see it. Calling something "an excuse" means I am trying to take a hall pass in the school of life, psshhhh.
Besides, back to the point, OP was asking for advice on how to get her divorce, not how to save her marriage.
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Is your real name Kim? Seriously, can you explain what happened in the 4 months to make you feel like this? Admittedly I am curious, but it will also help you to put your reasons down in writing and maybe we can help sort them out.
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Sounds like a good idea there from tinyteddy. If you put it in words maybe you will be able to see exactly what it is that makes you feel that this was a huge mistake...lack of compatibality cant have just happened overnight.
Generally the first big mistake it rushing into marriage before really knowing someone good and proper...(although, back in the day, and also in the case of arranged marriages, its not really too much of a reason).
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