Posted by
Ed
13 yrs ago
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/relationship-advice/zarqa-nawaz/should-i-blow-the-whistle-on-my-cheating-friend/article2400420/
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A cheating friend who confides his affair to you would already know that he is on a path that will eventually divide, and a decision is needed on which way to go. He is seeking advice.. and that you should give.. but nothing more.
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No, stay out of it. No one will thank you for interfering. The husband will hate you for telling his wife and the wife will hate you for ruining her life. Tell him to do the right thing, push him to do the right thing, but thats it.
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Ed
13 yrs ago
How about if the friend doesn't tell you ... but you find out that this is happening?
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I would tell my friend that I know and if I had found out then it would be likely that others had too. I would advise that they should finish the affair or tell the spouse. I still wouldn't be the one who delivered the bad news to the spouse.
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ditto.. I would still give my friend some advice, and let them work it out.
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me too, I would advise my friend to make his/her choice but no way am I going to delivere the news to the spouse, let them work it out...
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I always ask myself what I would benefit from exposing them. So I just keep my mouth shut.
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The key word here is "friend".
If a friend of mine were to cheat on his wife, I am guessing the wife is kinda a friend only by the whole 6 degrees thing. So definitely NO, would not rat out friend.
That said, would probably tell said friend that he/she needs to either (a) be careful not to get caught (b) if he/she cares at all about his/her partner to quit being a douche and show some respect for the commitment made (c) if he/she doesn't care about his/her partner, at least have the balls to leave her before starting something new.
I think the order of that could actually be all a** backwards, but you get what I mean.
Its rarely a good idea to tell on someone. Now, if my best friend was dating someone who I found out was doing the dirty on him/her, I would totally rat that person out. I would see this as being in the best interests of my friend and if I was being cheated on I would also like my best friend to tell me if he/she knew. I don't care how it looks, double standards or what, but yeah, thats how I see it.
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Right, you never want to be a "home wrecker". That's just being a hurtful jerk. Let them figure their life out and it's none of your business. Plus it will do more harm than good--99.9%
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It's unethical to betray the friend's trust and immoral to condone the cheating behaviour. So give your friend a good scolding and tell him be a MAN.
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