Posted by
Sfcal
12 yrs ago
Hello All! I am a female that moved to HK from the US. The ladies here are so fashionable. Curious to know how much looks count here. For example, a great physique, pretty face, fashion, etc. Feel I ought to turn it up a notch :-). Thanks in advance for any tips or advice!
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it cant hurt to turn it up a notch especially if you feel good about it. you also dress differently in new york city vs salt lake city
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Sfcal
12 yrs ago
Thank you HarliQuin and cookie09. Seems like especially where I live, Central, all the ladies dress up and have a full face of make up. Even at the gym, they have make up and wear dangling earrings :). I will turn it up a notch as it can't hurt.
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According to the economist, Hong Kong has 90 men for every 100 women (versus 97.4 in the USA), so the competition is keen.
I think it's fair to say that looks will attract a man, but you need a personality to keep him. No need to become a fashion victim, but yes, you need to pay attention to your looks.
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Sfcal
12 yrs ago
Angelique Bouchard, haha... Funny facts! Unfortunately, irregardless of "helmets" I believe CaptDave brings up the important statement that looks do need tending to. Although I am surprised with the ratio of male to female as it appears to me that there are many more gals than guys. I have been shopping for more figure flattering clothes as opposed to the baggy style I have become accustomed to. Thank you for your advice!
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Agree with CaptDave, looks serve the first impression, personality keeps relationships.
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I agree with HarliQuin (who is played by a girl in the Batman films - just saying...), my Chinese husband looks just as good as he does when we met 9 years ago.
To be honest, do you want a partner who is so superficial? Because wow he sounds superficial.
I didn't change my style when I moved to hong kong - much to the annoyance of my mother in law lol. I am who I am, if you don't like it don't talk to me. Why should you have to change for anyone? Do what makes you feel comfortable.
Just to reply to HarliQuinn's comment agin, I'm white, 30 next month and I got asked for ID Tonight so it seems we do age well, thanks for your mesoginistic comments anyway.
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As I guy, I think being approachable is the key plus a sense of humour. Your biggest competition, though, will come from the better-than-average looking Chinese girls. As I'm okay-looking (most women are looking for 8/10 but I come in at 7/10 lol), I wouldn't bother with the stunners as I am sure they wouldn't be interested in me and they would probably be high-maintenance. But there loads of polite, nice, slim and attractive average women out there. Plain Janes are usually hotter.
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Angelique LOL. It's like the 'dawn raid' scene in Apocalypse Now where they sit on their helmets.
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Interesting thread, personally I do think look is important, be it men or women, it is the look that attracts attention and arouse the interest for opposite sex to want to get to know you deeper. That's when personality enters and chemistry may or may not flow.
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Sfcal
12 yrs ago
Thank you all for your input :). Unfortunately, my low self esteem is the main factor. However now that I've spiced up my wardrobe a bit, I feel more attractive and feminine (compared to my older frumpy, baggy look). My hubby seems to like it too! Cheers!
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coty
12 yrs ago
I like good looking people too but dislike that full face of make up! That offputting fakeness. It's like telling the world i'm superficial and have nothing more. When i see a guy with such a girl, i immediately think less of the guy. And some of these girls can be quite bitchy too, like the other night i saw such a tanned Asian woman walking down in Mid Levels, like a prostitute who's finished working, I was looking at her heels and her outfit, and she offensively barked 'what are you staring at?' And to be honest when you imagine these girls without makeup, most look awful with their slitty eyes!
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Sfcal
12 yrs ago
I agree coty, that super heavy make up is unattractive. How rediculous that a woman is dressed in such a way that screams "look at me!" but is offended when you look at her. I prefer the natural look :)
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The heavy make up also screams "high maintenance".. and i pity the guy with such a girl.
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High maintenance is a big turn-off.
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Sfcal
12 yrs ago
Yes, I agree that high maintenance is a turn off...to ladies. Meaning if I (as a female) see another overly groomed attention seeking woman, I find her unattractive. Perhaps due to my jealousy and insecurity. But men seem intrigued and attracted by that. When I dressed up in high heels, form fitting skirt and blouse, make-up and hair done to perfection, men were drawn to me. When I dressed in my usual relaxed jeans and t- shirt, I was disregarded. I have answered my own question. Looks count a ton. At least in Central HK.
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Sfcal. You're being too simplistic. Don't confuse looking good with high maintenance. Personally, I don't like women in mini skirts as I think they look trashy. Doesn't mean I wouldn't oggle though. Personally, I like simple and stylish. I saw an average-looking Chinese women in a nicely-cut cotton dress the other day and she looked fabulous. I actually felt like congratulating here but didn't have the nerve. There doesn't seem to be an English equivalent for 'Ciao Bella'.
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Looking good and a lot of makeup on is completely different, looks matter ofcourse, thats the first point of attraction in any area of life. But do you really think (other than 50% of central women) they are fashionable?? i feel their dressing sence is somehwat childish (fairy talish)... but somehow guys seem to like it, specially locals. please correct me if i am wrong... I am a woman myself.
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Yes, some girls adopt a "fairy tale" dress sense... the cutesy look and behavior seems to appeal to a lot of local men who have a virginity obsession and/or are scared of grown up women.
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i personally and not a fan of cutesy girl and prefer women who look and act mature, but yes, looks matter a lot. and as harliquin pointed out, asian women are on many levels more competitive than western women in the looks department.
they stay younger longer and it especially shows in the skin. i think also it has to do a lot with the amount of effort they put into that, almost to a level of obsession.
so turn it up by more than a notch, fashionwise, lookswise, and more so healthwise. never heard of good looks, good health, and good character hurting anyone, man or woman.
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very high on my list.. just kidding. The inside count more important
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Using a box to protect your 'assets' is more important than a helmet from the pain perspective. I'd much rather a fast moving cricket ball to the head rather than 'down there', hell, I'd take 5 or 10 to the head before that.
A lot of ladies who think they are top sh!t back home try to continue overselling themselves and are high maintenance because "they deserve it" but end up awfully lonely in HK. I'm not saying you are one of them, but just thought I'd mention it. There are also plenty of local single 35-45 year old career women here too who never found a guy who was 'good enough' for them, head on down to Causeway bay on a Friday night and you can see them roaming the streets in packs.
Guys normally decide pretty quickly if you are gf material or just .... material. It's based on your personality and attitude, not how you look. Sure looks count, but only to pass bar, after that it's really your personality. I wouldn't worry too much, just do what you are comfortable with, unless all you want is attention and a bit of fun, in that case doll up.
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good looks and good dress up with simple makeup is important!!!
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Vivian, yes it's amazing how many people forget that.
The often heard excuse is "my hubby should forgive me for being fat because I've had 3 kids".. but then the hubby runs away with the maid/secretary.
Not saying the husband is right, but that's what happens.
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I think the selection of men in hong kong sucks in general. They all think they are gods gift to women.. specially the western ones. in a way they can't be blamed 'cos they do get treated like they are special. I think the best is to decide who you are comfortable being and go with that....r u comfortable in baggy clothes? wear them? are you comfortable being made up and dressing to kill all the time, then do that..
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"I think the selection of men in hong kong sucks in general. They all think they are gods gift to women.. " .... posted by the goddess Kali...
hmmm.....
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Looks matter in HK and Asia. I am a 40 year old white American, but have a Mr Bean/darker skin look. ....not very good looking and find it hard to find woman to date....maybe I am too picky, but generally status is a big thing here....money/looks/etc matter to both sexes
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it depends on the age category:
1) less than 30 (25 for women): look is very important at first but then after 1 month it won't matter, it's the personality.
2) between 30 and 50 (above 25 for women): look is less important but still important at first but then after 24hrs it won't matter.
3) above 50 (above 25 for women): look is much less important, it's money that counts.
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Hong Kong culture has been transforming a lot in the past 8-10 years. Money comes first and look comes second which is sucky!
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As someone who is not good looking, but luckily does make a fair amount of money I have to agree with yesman & hk6279. Things are pretty superficial here and that applies to both expats and locals. If you haven't got either you are going to have trouble here and best to have both if you want to do well on the singles scene.
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As Deng Xiaoping said, "in the dark, all cats are grey".
A couple of thoughts about "looks". For starters, none of us knows how we look to others, because others see us in three dimensions. To understand this point, stand in front of a mirror with a friend, and observe how different they appear in the mirror, to the way they appear in reality.
Secondly, our faces, our whole bodies, are constantly moving and changing, as we speak, and do things, our total attractiveness is a sum of all these moving (and speaking) parts.
Finally, good looks might get you through the door, but will not sustain a proper relationship.
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Suddenly I have this thought, "look" is just like "a degree certificate".
When you first start a relationship, "look" is taken into account, so as "a degree certificate" is needed to enter into a new job.
But, no one guarantee if the relationship is going to work and no one guarantee if you are going to perform well at work and get a return.
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Bad & Stupid is right. Looks will get you a chance, but a LTR relies on personality
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I think makeup helps and why not since it can be relatively quite cheap here? The tricky thing is to do it well. The 'Lisa Eldridge' videos on Youtube are especially good for western women. The nice thing about them is that she actually looks very average without her makeup but is transformed by it, whilst still looking natural. I don't think Chinese women have a natural advantage over Western women - I have seen beautiful and frumpy women in both communities. Some of it is genetics which can't be changed but in many cases, keeping healthy and taking a little effort can be advantageous to anyone, regardless of their ethnic background. Harliquin's post makes me wonder about what sort of Western woman he was able to attract back home (average guy) versus here (expat who are perceived as wealthy by a certain type of woman) ;)
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Just first impression to me...be yourself.
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LOL Harliquin, I feel sorry for your kids (or future kids), they'll be half doomed then.
Sorry for those I offended, I didn't mean to but I find you harsh Harliquin, you're white yourself, if we apply ur reasoning then your wife must have never married you, because you're the 'deficient one', with 'a deficient genetic background'.
Oh well, why do I care, I ain't even 'white'...
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did we get any feedbakc from sfcal, did she find a boyfriend or what?
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That's true Harliquin, but the reason why people divorce that easily is because in today's societies, people make decisions in haste, and most of the time aren't willing to make concessions, or even sacrifices for the well being of their partner. They've been conditioned into thinking that there's always plenty fish in the sea, and act like they're single even when married... There's more to it all but it's another topic I guess.
I wish the best of luck to your daughter, I am a year older and yeah marriage isn't an easy thing. I think men take the mickey when there's no 'external' involvement.
Besides, I like that Asians in general do care about their kids future.
It used to be a practice in my parents' country, although not as well-planned/thought as Asians. They expect us to bring them out of nowhere, now lol.
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I don't know Lunatic, but I feel like people have actually twisted the topic, while all she was doing was saying how she felt out of touch compared to HK women, in terms of looks, fashion ect. Why are people talking about her being so called desperate to find a man? Unless I am blind...
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I don't think she sounded desperate, but definitely interested in finding something more than ons.
The thing is, as some posters above said looks will give you a chance, but personality will determine the success. But if you don't have looks probably no chance will be given at all, especially true for wealthy suitors.
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She said, or implied, she was married.
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Yep Evildeeds, this is what I thought I read after you mentioned it, so see what she says down below. Lunatic that confirms my doubts:
Posted by Sfcal (254 days ago)
[ Message | Report Abuse ]
Thank you all for your input :). Unfortunately, my low self esteem is the main factor. However now that I've spiced up my wardrobe a bit, I feel more attractive and feminine (compared to my older frumpy, baggy look). My hubby seems to like it too! Cheers!
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SO MY QUESTION NOW IS, WHY DO MEN UNDERSTAND THINGS WRONG? LOL. (Sorry for the caps guys!).
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well, i apologize for my being wrong. after reading "I feel more attractive and feminine..." i must have been completely distracted and unable to digest any additional information coming after that.
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