Posted by
Godisgood
12 yrs ago
Please, any advice on how to get hubby to be a bit more relaxed with the finances?
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Thank you malka. We do discuss finances (all the fricken time, he always says "it's time to save"). Well, I know! Anyways, he has a boat load of reasons. The thing is I don't even spend much at all! So frustrating. He even sweats every time the restaurant bill comes! We have a more than decent income too. He has a problem when I spend but not so much as when he does. Either way, he constantly blames me for financial problems. And we don't even have a ny financial problems!
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What don't you get a job and earn your own money? Just a thought.
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What century do you live in? Unless you are a Mormon or Amish, things have moved on. Nowadays there are female leaders of industry/government, and yes, they are parents too. Have some ambition.
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Is that a quotation from the "big book of the bleedin' obvious" or are you just a Cosmo reader?
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A woman was walking along a beach when she saw a bottle sticking out of the sand. Picking it up, she thought to herself 'I wonder if there's a Genie is this?'
All of a sudden there was a tremendous bang and puff of smoke and out came the Genie. 'Have I got three wishes?' said the woman
'Naah' said the Genie, 'that's a load of old cobblers. You get one wish and make it snappy. I've been in there for 600 years and I've got a terrible headache.'
'OK' says the woman, and produces a map of the Middle East.
'Can you sort this out for me so there's peace everywhere?'
'Haven't you got something a bit easier?' says the Genie. I'm a bit rusty on the old wishes and need to get my hand in with something a bit less taxing.'
'Mmm' says the woman 'OK, can you find me a nice bloke, who'd make a good husband - someone kind, affectionate, solvent, and gets on with my parents?'
Genie: 'Let's have another look at that map......'
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it sounds like you need to have a deeper conversation about money with your husband.
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I'd be frugal if my wife didn't work. OP do you have kids? Maybe you could get a maid to help out so that you have time to earn some money?
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Wow. Thank you for all the responses and suggestions. I do work and have been since I was 13. I love and respect my hubby but it sucks that I have to think hard whether I can order a latte instead of straight coffee. Thank you Angelique and malka for the insight. Capt Dave, agreed. Gee whiz, whitty interpretation of finding Mr. Wonderful.
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Wow indeed. It never occurred to me from your original post that you were working.
Not really sure why you're letting your husband call all the shots financially if you're both working. Do you both plan the household budget, or do you just leave it to him?
Worrying about the cost of a coffee is quite extreme if you're financially comfortable. It will continue like that only if you allow it to.
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My mother came from a household where her father gambled them out of house and home when she was a teenager.
She has issues about saving money, hoarding and a few other things...and I think this all stems from her fathers gambling habit and the trouble it caused their family when she was young.
Has your hubby got some major deep seated issues in his family history? Maybe some therapy would help? *shrug* just sayin...
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"Also frugal by nature...": don't push him you won't be able to change him. since you make your own money, why not spend it and pay when you go out to restaurants because clearly you are not frugal so pay and leave him alone. if he wants to pey, he will pay otherwise the more you complain the more he will resent you, forcing to pay when he doenst want.
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