Inherently Incompatible issue

I've been in a relationship with someone for more than a year but we found out we are not compatible in some circumstances. Even though we love each others a lot but we still decided to split up. The inherent incompatibility makes us argue and hurting our relationship. So we think this is the best for each others. After we broke up, he msg me said he miss me so much and without me in his life it feels empty, i were the best gf anyone could ask for, but the inherently not compatible and things wont work in long term, then was it right for us to end things? He thinks he cant give me what i need and want as he's not the type of guy who can do. I'm insecure and dependent, these are my weaknesses i would say. So he think i should find someone more controlling and disciplined. He doesnt want to be the motivator and drive things as much as he need to when i'm with him. I agree with him but as a gal I believe love can overcome problems, and of coz i want things work out between us and have a healthy happy relationship. Looking for some comments, thanks!

Most relationships start with 3-6 months of infatuation. When this wears off we start to see the other person clearly - both the good and the bad. The key is to be objective at this point and assess if you can really live together for the rest of your lives or not. Sadly, what happens often is inertia takes over, so couples continue for no reason... until finally the relationship crashes and burns.

Thanks for the comment from both of you. I think you all have really good points. May be both of us were thinking too much on our relationship and forget to enjoy the fun part of it. Thats why we kept arguring for the incompatibility. Couples should be feel loved and enjoy every moment at dating stage. Now I just want peace and dont want to over-analyze our problems. Yeah go with the flow.

As with many of these posts, one can never know all the background and dynamics of a situation. One such thing would be how many relationships you have both been in prior to this. If this is a first relationship then I suggest you both explore. If you both have had relationships to this before you will know where this most recent relationship feels amongst and in comparison to the others.


From this guys perspective, I can tell you I agree with his comments about not having to motivate and having to deal with someone's insecurities all the time. Try looking at things from his perspective and put yourself in his postion and objectively as you can, ask yourself how you would feel.

I did, and I can understand how he feel which is frustrated and helpless. But I guess now is too late to change anything. We talked on phone yesterday which he thinks its hard to avoid argument in future unless we both have a big change. We agreed to take few more days to think thoroughly and of course Im hoping that we both could work out at last. I wont force him i was just being completely honest to tell him how I feel and see how much he can take.


speaking of myself, Im very impatience and implusive. every time we argue because of that but of coz there's always a reason to trigger, sometimes is him and sometimes is me. If I can slow down just a little bit, the fight wouldnt happened or not that often.


For this relationship, i treasure and willing to put more effort onto it but i wont force. and yes, we had experiences before. Im trying to adjust my sadness and be rational to it now.