Posted by
coygirl
18 yrs ago
we've been going out for 2 years (he's 12 years older)and has a plan of getting married and everything and then lately he told me that our relationship will be boyfriend-girlfriend , no comitments ...and i can look for another man for the reason that he's not divorce yet..gosh...i feel betrayed...then a friend of mine introduced me to this guy and to sum it up he propose to me..i did'nt say yes yet coz i still love my boyfriend or ex..then he found out about him and he was really mad...he told me that i cheated on him but he's the one who forced me to look for another guy and now i don't know hat will i do..do i have to say yes to my new boyfriend or just go back to my ex eventhough he's not divorce yet and ignore me most of the time..
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Are you really asking what to do? Do you have any feelings for the guy who proposed? If not then dont stay with him. The ex needs to be forgotten, he is still married and ignores you?????
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yay , i have a feelings with this guy who proposed but not as deep as my ex..,,yes he did ignore me like on our 2nd year anniv...i keep asking him to stop by at my work so we can have dinner together and he always saying that he's busy and later that nite i found out that he was with his nephew's wedding anniv...it hurts me so much..
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suze
18 yrs ago
He is not worth your hurt. There does not seem to be a future with your ex so try to let go and move on. As for the other guy get to know him better and see where it leads...
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Becs
18 yrs ago
It is apparently a rebound but to a married man.. If your beloved was divorced even he has a 12yrs old son, I don't see a problem cos you both have feelings to eachother still! I knew he treated you badly for long but thats love. However, he is married. Simple, tell him he has the authority to be mad once he get a divorce! ;)
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well,i'm 42 yrs. old and never married and i'm not desperate to get married ... i can be a spinster for the rest of my life if i want and he's not the only guy who proposed and i've known this second guy for six mos. already. the problem is i still love my ex and still seeing him once in a while coz i don't know how to move on ..he says he's going to relocate but i don't know when....maybe that's why i'm still over him..
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are you seriously even considering his half hearted proposal? Why do some nwomen have to sell themselves short and 'settle' for the first 'undivorced' man who rolls along and proposes (albeit it halfheartedly)
You are OBVIOUSLY not ready to marry anyone if you can admit that you are still in love with your ex. DO you need strangers to tell you to put your priorities in place?
DO you even know what a real marriage means. How much work, how much love and compatibility couples need to make it work.
If all the above is had not even crossed yourmind other than the words meal ticket/passport out of country - Go head do what you like.We all know what will happen eventually.
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Your undivorced, not-so-sure-if-he's-an-ex boyfriend felt threatened by this new guy in the picture, whom you don't really feel passionate about. He then gives you a carrot to chase in the hope of chaining you to the relationship.
Even if he relocates, he's not divorced yet.
Even if he relocates, and eventually divorces, he already said he cannot commit. So what are you chasing the carrot for?
In the meantime, don't waste the time of proposing guy if you can't commit to staying away from undivorced ex. You can't truly appreciate the intentions of guy#2 if ex is still looming in the background.
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thanks so much guys for the advice, appreciate it very much...now i know what to do...
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thanks rititt , i'm still in the process of knowing this guy who proposed to me..i'm starting to like him but only he's so possesive and i'm not allowed to talk to any guy , shouting at me in front of my friends if there is a guy who comes to me to introduce themselves, i'm 42 and i don't think i cn tolerate that kind of behavior so as of now i'm thinking of taking a break for a while and wait for the right guy who deserves me...
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I can see that u can hardly into a new relationship with anyone coz you just keep looking at the goods of the so called ex' and bads of the new.........
It may be your 55 when u eventually wake up from a nightmare!
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