Posted by
mencius
18 yrs ago
Just wondering what do most of people do?? When you are out for the first date, who should pay for the dinner?? Was out recently with a guy ,I gave him half of the amount on the bill and he took it all... the thing is, during the dinner, he had few drinks and I had none...Am I being petty or he's just cheap?!
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WEll, depends if you both think it's a " date"?! I think as a woman, you should always offer to pay for your share...If he offers to pay for the dinner, just say thank you... Don't insist on paying for it... the guy you went out with, he sounds cheap....
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WEll, CM, thanks for your opnion, You made a good point.. However, I didn't want to go to the details of how he split the bill which made me think he's a bit cheap.....I would like to know what the other ladies think of this situation...
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CM, here's the question, do you offer to pay for the first date??
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on the first date, whoever did the inviting, pays.
the invitee can offer to help pay as a nice gesture (and be prepared to actually pay, should the inviter take the invitee up on it), but the inviter should graciously refuse this kind gesture.
second, third, fourth dates...up to the couple to work it out.
please do not slam me with feminist, equal-rights crap - this isn't about unequal pay in the workplace, or reproductive rights, or the fact that stay-at-home moms aren't paid for their work - this is about a date, and good manners.
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Jojo and voiceofreason, I totally agree with you... That's what I've been doing all the time as well... As how rouge put it, it shows interest... I mean, if he's not even making the effort to make a good impression on the first date... says it all then...
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Thank you voice of reason, nothing else can be said,
When ever I invite a girl/boy/men/women/first date or anyone, I will make sure
that I will pay for everything. And when any of them invite me, I will offer
to pay half. if I am invited and my bill comes out to be more than my friend, then I insist to pay half.
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shaq
18 yrs ago
Women ... hmm!! Where is 'equal rights' when it comes to payments? You want 'equal rights', and you have it. So, exercise it; pay as you eat... :P
Next time, ask your 'date' whether you'll be sharing the cost before you go dinning with him. For all you know he was only respecting your demand for 'equal rights'... ha! :D
ShaQ
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Who'd have thought such an inocuous thread would create such vitriole!
I am in agreement with VOR - the inviter pays on the first date. For any ensueing dates you either go dutch or pay for every other meal.
Unless of course your date is Dutch, and then these rules go completely out the window, lol!
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Actually, I do have slight suspicion that CM is a friend of editor.. He has said quite a few offensive stuff and never get banned!!! Ok people, After reading all these replies I think I have to be more detailed of what actually happended.... The bill came out HKD803, I took out 400 , and he told me, " yeah, that should be enough"(note, I didn't have any drinks and he had few)...The he took out 400.. and then going thru all his pockets just trying to find that 3 dollars... I said, it's ok, I just give them 20... Then he told me, no, I have change... He finally found 5 dollars coin ...
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coach
18 yrs ago
the rules are simple.
1) if you ask for the date, you pay
2) if you offer, at least be genuine about it. don't pretend to look at the bill and take 5min to pull out your wallet.
3) guys will at least expect their dates to offer by 2nd or 3rd date as a gesture of appreciation, but doesn't mean he'll accept.
4) lastly, you can use the paying thing as a barometer...generally speaking...good dates = guys will pay, bad dates = 50/50. not all guys do this of coz, but i've use it and i know i'm not the only one.
...put it this way...women fake excuses to go home when they're not enjoying theirs date...guys make women fork up their halves...hahaha.
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CM, are you one of those people that even you hang out with your friends and only get your own drinks and never buy rounds?! I would think so...
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Dear Mencius, Your instincts are right. You should never trust a man who doesn't at least offer to pay for the whole meal (including drinks). Such men are "girly men".
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I am always generous to people, that's why I sort of project my own standard on others....
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CM, lol!!! My partner is Dutch and finds it very amusing when I use that phrase. Ditto for Dutch Oven.
They don't have a phrase but at a push I'd say 'halvesies'?
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I didn't want to give the details at the beginning simply because he may login this site and read all about this!!! And yeah, thank god,I am not a lawyer... So your a** is safe!!
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Agree with Robkemp. Somehow think that if a guy drinks a lot more and doesn't offer to pay for his portion and more.... leaves a bad after taste. hee hee!!!
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What about drinking etiquette nowadays? When guy offers to buy drinks for a girl at bar? And he seems nice but girl doesn't want to seem too "easy" but doesn't want to offend guy? How to leave a positive impression?
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ha,harimau, your name sounds like good manners in mandarin....
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Mencius - now that you mentioned it!!!! yeah! Ha ha haaaaa!!!! I don't speak mandarin btw so I had to check with my assistant. Harimau is actually a malay word. Hint! "mau" means CAT.. like in mandarin.
Will u go for a second date with that guy? Out of curiosity (like the cat)?
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Harimau, It very much depends on the situation. For example, do you know the guy? By accepting the drink are you putting yourself in a difficult situation just to appear polite? If you feel comfortable, you like the guy, and you are thirsty; then accept the offer. Why not? You can always make your excuses and leave. The guy is probably just trying to make conversation. Most men won't understand that you don't want to appear 'easy' and he may feel offended - I'm talking from a western point of view here but I am assuming men are the same the world over. We are very simple creatures and can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Admittedly this is usually 'what is the probability of me getting her into bed?' but that should be taken as a given by any woman with an ounce of common sense. Take the drink, check him out and, if he is not what you are looking for, exit gracefully.
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How can we tell if guy is good or bad at first sight????? For all you know they could all be like CM.... sorry CM.
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Robkemp - thanks for male insights! Somehow I missed your post. Most of the time do not know the guy. So truth is there is always an element of "what is the probability of me getting her into bed?". I guess we shouldn't focus on that.
Rouge - Ha ha haaaa!!!!! Oohh... I like the toilet excuse.. good one! Now with the world cup playing we can say "oh look what a tackle!" and exit quickly. What happens if bump into the same guy AGAIN? Rely on my wit and charm I guess... hee hee!!!
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Just becuase a guy buys you a drink on the assumption that he'd like to get you into bed, doesn't mean you have to oblige. All guys no matter how nice (or not) will have this in the back of their minds. I say take the drink, enjoy the conversation and leave. Chances are you may end up liking each other, if not, no big deal. Life is too short to keep second-guessing everything.
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Vulvic - very good advise!!!! Merci!
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Answer: Earn enough money so that the concept of money looses all meaning. haha, seriously though it the way to go :P
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It`s time for another limerick from Crickey .
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