Posted by
blaze
19 yrs ago
I've been exchanging emails on an almost daily basis with a guy in Europe. We've only met once and even though the conversation was good, there were no sparks (at least on my side). Somehow we drifted into an email correspondence and started talking about everything from our mutual interests to what we think about life and relationships. We share the same sense of humour and often have a good time ribbing each other.
Recently, the guy has started to tell me how much he enjoys my emails, how they are the highlight of his day etc. Is this normal for a platonic friendship?
He has a very demanding job and often works very long hours. But he always has time to write me emails, including some long and thoughtful ones, and this is on an almost daily basis. We don't talk about anything romantic however. Is this weird?
And lastly, if I want to keep this platonic, would it be too much of me to hope that he'll continue to write to me regularly as a friend?
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My conclusion on your given info:
A) He doesn't have any friends
B) He likes to fantasize about you very much, because you're LD. He could be afraid to scare you off if he's gonna make a move on u, so therefore he'd rather give you time to make the call when you're ready.
Why don't you ask him how he looks at your friendship?
As long as you give him the platonic version I don't think you guys, can go any further. How would you describe his level of maturity?
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blaze
19 yrs ago
He's in his 30s, not in a rush to get into a relationship, and emotionally mature. He has friends, but he works too much. Perhaps there's nothing much to break the monotony of his long work days other than my cheerful emails?
I don't want to ask him how he looks at our friendship because I'll really like it to remain just that. I've tried hinting to him however that I don't believe in long distance relationships and I cannot see myself living in his country. Unfortunately I think he missed my hints. He's for long distance relationships by the way and has been in one before.
Am I being too sensitive? Perhaps he doesn't think of me that way and I'm just imagining things?
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Correct, your hints could have been an excuse for a delay until your relationship is more stable, if it's to him.
I dont think that you're too sensitive.
How about ignoring the thought that he's into to u and just carry on as friends by e-mail? How about delay strategy ( a delay of your replies as long as possible)?
If it's bothering you too much, you can always quit e-mailing, but remember....he's your friend.
Don't be too hard on him, pls.
You can always introduce him to a suitable girlfriend, should he make it to town! :)
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blaze
19 yrs ago
Nemesis, as mentioned in my first post, we've met before.
giggling girl, I've met him only once, so he's really an acquaintance. I actually do enjoy writing to him and would like this correspondence to go on. Just not sure if it's going to mislead him into thinking there could be more... I've tried delaying my replies by the way. But it didn't work. He continued to reply me on the same day.
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Yes, tell people when you appreciate them. It is great for people and normal....
But if you want to be honest with this guy be straight down the line. It has to be really easy with a non sexual email relationship.....perhaps not easy to hear an answer....BUT you have to say it....he could just be straight down the line, he could be infatuated....find out.
There are people I write to that I have never met but neither of us have an agenda...I like writing. I like contact. But an agenda....hardly..
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blaze
19 yrs ago
But how do I broach this topic? I already tried by hinting that I don't believe in long distance relationships, I don't think I could live in his country etc. I can't very well say out of the blue, "I only like you as a platonic friend".
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blaze
19 yrs ago
Thanks GL and Nemesis for your advice. How about encouraging him to date around? It'd be obvious that I don't like him that way if I do that, right?
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blaze
19 yrs ago
Bad news- I gave very strong hints why a relationship between us would not be possible, he got the hints, and now tries to make me jealous by telling me about going on dates. Can this friendship be salvaged or should I let it go?
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Blaze - Even if he does tell you that he's dating at present. How do YOU feel? Jealous?
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blaze
19 yrs ago
Nope. I just feel tired and frustrated at having to dissuade him again.
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