Posted by
wanabe
14 yrs ago
I am 35 years old, We been married for 10 years and I can say that its not really my "ideal" married life. He is not home buddy, eversince, and I trust him so much that we reach 10 years of marriage. Only until last 2 years that I found out his infidelity. I hurts me a lot, that i want to be separated from him. He said sorry, infront of my kids, and promised to us that he will changed and be a good family man. But, it happened again, not only twice, but four times (with the same woman). Im feed up already. I want to divorse him but he doesnt want to sign the papers. He insist to give him another chance. I talked to my kids that I want separation, and they seem they understand my situation as they see me always crying. I dont trust him anymore. I want to move out with my children but I cannot coz i am not financially stable. Should I give him another chance? or I'll take the risk of moving out with my kids. I cannot live without my kids. Need your advise.
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I am so sorry & sad to hear your story. It really angers me that some husbands can go to such extreme and still would not let go of the broken-up marriage. It is really a difficult time at this moment for you with 2 teenagers and no money. Do you have parents that you can turn to for support? If not, stay in the house and find yourself a job as your children do not need you to baby-sit (luckily for you at this stage) and earn some money and built up your confidence and at the same time take your mind off the situation. Good luck and take care!
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hi homely, unfotunately, we dont have any relatives here, our families staying in our country of origin. Thanks a lot for your advise. god bless you.
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From what you wrote, I guess there are only 2 options you can take since this is not your hometown. Your husband still value the family in his own way as he had tried to apologize & had promised to changed and then failed showing that he has a weak sense of moral in his character - that could happen to most men (even decent ones) when they encounter a woman or women they fancy....so if you still want to give him another chance, stay & find a job in HK & wait for the change and if you cannot endure been hurt again, leave HK with the children back to your own hometown hoping this will awaken your husband's unfaithful brain to the realization to the seriousness of the situation and the huge damage he had done to his family thus prompting him to take action when his sense starts to return by being alone all by himself.
BTW, the other woman - is she working with him? Just curious....(another thought just cross my mind....hope she doesn't move in with him when you are gone....quite convenient)! Take heed of that too! Oh dear!!! Please think very carefully before taken any action unless you are really fed-up and will not regret. Take care!!
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He doesn't want to sign the contract because he knows it will cost him a fortune. As the primary caregiver, you will get custody of the children - don't worry about that. He's had a chance and failed - how many more will you give him?
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i think you should deal with this without showing any bit of emotion or else he will take advantage of the situation. a person like him doesn't deserve a second chance and if you really feel that you cannot take it and you need to move away, please do. have the courage and ask God to lead you. God bless you.
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From what you've said, I don't think you would have any regrets once you divorced him.
Best to consult a lawyer first so you can find out what you can get from your husband. You may find that you can survive okay because your (ex) husband will have to support you, especially as it's been a long 16 years. All these factors count in how much money he needs to give you after divorce.
Of course, divorce is difficult... but usually once everything is over, you may find that you are really glad you finally did it for yourself and your children.
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"I want to move out with my children but I cannot coz i am not financially stable"
You wont find someone who will give you everything. Did you marry him for money?
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