Posted by
Gabriella
19 yrs ago
I love my husband. But every time I drink I get a hard time. we ae trying to have baby - but we're talking 1 -2 drinks.b He is worried about our unconceived child.
Who is right?
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i gotcha. so even 1 - 2 is a no no? my husband is not happy with even a tipple.
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we're practising every 2nd night + OPK's. I just didn't think 1 -2 was that bad. Watchig what I eat + sleep etc. Just wasn't sure how serious a couple were during the intial stage.
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That makes sense - ok. He gets his knickers in a knot wants the 'best possible chance' for bubs.I feel sorry for him as he is quite upset as we were on a junk today and I had 1 or 2. He said he would be so upset if we were preggers. Just assumed we weren't as it's so early in the game.
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I feel so sorry for him and love him so much - it's almost as if he feels hopeless. He's sulking on the sofa right now. It's just 1-2. If it's that upsetting I won't - cranberry juice is fab anyway.
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may i ask how long have you been trying to conceive? have you consulted a doctor? if so, what does s/he say about your "1-2"?
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He doesn't really drink - used to, but not anymore.
We have consulted a doctor and have been TTC 2 months. The doctor gave us a list of do's & don'ts...alcohol was a definate don't - although she said the odd glass is ok.
He's ok this morning - we talked about, I basically have to say no from now on. Which is not such a bad thing - healthier etc. His wording is that he 'hates alcohol' - and wants it out of our life. If it's that big of a deal - fair enough.
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Good idea - I will try that. While TTC + immediately post then it's out & after that then the odd glass of wine is ok. He is pretty reasonable so I am sure that suggestion would work.
HK can be a hard place for this - my girlfriends and I meet for the odd couple of wines, have dinner etc. on weekends and then Junks are a nightmare - every is always offering champers or wine. I tried to go without yesterday but then thought a couple wouldn't hurt...he was very upset with me. It's the really the only thing we fight over...and er...my shopping. I work so I have earnt the money...but he's weary of my spending as I can shop up a storm. (But that's another story)
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Gabriell - I agree with his stance on not drinking whilst TTC but trying to rule it out of your life altogether sets alarm bells ringing for me.
My pregnancey was not planned and I concieved smack bang in the middle of the Christmas party season. You could say I owe my pregnancey to mulled wine. However, I am 17 wks along and all is fine and dandy. I also have the occassional glass of wine if we are out to dinner (1 every couple of weeks.) If my partner started policing me he would get a swift kick up the arse.
You may need to have a chat with hubby as he seems to be a bit OTT. Is there are reason he stopped drinking? An illness or problem of some kind?
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Congratulations on your pregnancy - that's very exciting. Similarly my girlfriend has the odd red when she was pregnant - her doctor (who is also mine) actually told her to have 1 red wine a week in the last trimester...not sure why, think it was to do with relaxation.
His family were in the hospitality business and he has grown up seeing people very drunk / witnessing 'regulars' drink their lives away. He says that he has seen good people do terrible things under the influence. He is vehemently opposed to drinking when pregnant and I know he would hit the roof if I even had 1 when preggers. Which is fair enough - I can take it or leave it.
He worries about the effects on my health and would be furious with me if I drank while carrying.
Generally he doesn't like it though - I become chatty, laugh alot and think everything is hysterical after 1 or 2 too many. He says I am embarressing - which is fair enough too. Anyway the days of me laughing under the influence are long gone - it upsets him too much and it just isn't good for TTC.
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Thanks. I agree with what your Doc says, a glass of red wine during pregnancey is often beneficial for the mother. The Europeans are very big on this whilst the Americans tend to advocate abstinence during pregnancy.
If your partner feels so strongly about this then I think it would be best to go without during your pregnancy. However, afterwards you may feel you want the odd glass of wine when out with your girlfriends - I know I do!
There seems to be another issue here and that is your partners attitude to drinking and those who drink. We all become more gregarious after a few drinks - I don't think that is embarassing, quite the opposite. Better to enjoy yourself than be the stiff sat in the corner. What does your partner do in social situations? Is he tee-total himself?
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He pretty much tee-totals, he may have 1 - but sits on it. Then glares at me if I order a second glass...I generally feel very uncomfortable as it takes the fun out of having a glass.
I am like everyone else and become a bit rowdy after a few...talk about rubbish, laugh a lot and dance like I am the one ABBA was referring to in Dancing Queen.
He would prefer I remained quiet and let others talk and 'embarress themselves'. He never puts a foot wrong socially - everyone loves him, so perhaps he is right.
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One other thing - our perception of alcohol is very different. I see it as a tool to relax and socialise with. He thinks that's the wrong mentality as alcohol damages your health and can lead to terrible choices and arguments.
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I have had a few nights when I have had too many and been beligerent in the past - we have had some of our most heated arguments fueled by the demon drink. Also, I admit I do have a tendency to keep drinking well past my use by date. I also loose time - e.g. promise to be home by 12 and arrive at 12:30 etc.
So he certainly has good reason to be weary of my being on it & I respect that. But that was quite some time ago - now it's more me being the dancing queen than argumentative.
However, I think under the cicumstances it's best to just drop it until after all the baby stuff is done with...time out is good, then perhaps my having the odd drink won't be such a concern.
I love him so much it's really not that important...although if a nice red and a steak is put in front of me it'd be a tricky :) Just kidding chaps and chappettes.
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Yes - I would like to get to that point too. I guess that the occasional drink then tastes that much sweeter and is more enjoiyable.
Although not sure I ever want to succomb to another raging hangover - I have to admit I have not had one in a while. Then again that's only by the grace of god.
He's very healthy and looks after himself so perhaps the money I save from not drink could be saved up for my spending sprees :) Hey - a girls got to have at least 1 vice.
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That is so true! So save a fortune not drinking, I have now set up a 'shoe fund' with the excess dosh and am out splurging on sandals and wedges.
The not drinking will also get you in great shape. It's amazing how those 2 glasses of wine can add up.
Good luck Gabriella, I'm sure you'll get preggers in no time.
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Thanks very much - I hope so.
Good luck to you to for the remainder of your pregnancy.
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Thanks. Am eating like a fool at the moment and have just found out the shop in my building sells lovely Haagen Daz ice cream - danger!
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I had a friend who followed the South Beach (slightly larger portions) while preggers - it's well balenced (or at least seems to be) and she looked healthy.
It must be so hard to not give into cravings...I know I am going to be a nightmare. My mum obsessly ate pink iced cup cakes when pregnant with me..not cream, not chocolate - just pink.
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I love egg tarts - don't know the coconut ones. I'm can relate to HAVING to buy them :) I've recently developed a thing for sour Skittles - they are full of sugar, but being the grown up I appear not to be...I love the fizz sensation (tragic eh?)
I think the southbeach is quite seafood heavy - but you can interchange meals e.g. veggie option / meat option. I'd check with the doc before you started on it when preggers though. My friend put on a healthy amount of weight during the pregnancy and got her figure back fairly quickly post pregnancy by continuing to follow the diet but reverting to the suggested portion sizes.
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Can you get those at Mannings or Watsons?
I picked up a whole lot of sour Skittles when I bought my OPK's. The lady who served me looked at me like I should be buying the preggers test.
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Ahhh NERDS!!! I used to love them and all the Willy Wonka Stuff aswell.
To be honest have been pretty good foodwise but teh Haagen Daz craving was overwhelming, lol! Aside from that am on plenty of protein, fruit and veg. Also carving pasta but trying not to load up on it. My plan is to excercise right through to the end and am in the gym 3 times a week. Fingers crossed I won't be the size of a house after this.
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sounds like you're being pretty good...the odd craving indulgence is fine.
Speaking of pasta - have you been to Milano's in Wanchai? Their pasta is delicious.
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LOL. Thanks JC. Have been stuffing all morning, luckily only grapes this time.
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Hello - would love to go to Milanos - but am in Tokyo for the next 2 weeks. Perhaps some other time.
Was so hungry when I left work with all of the talk about food / pasta...made ravioli for dinner. Are you supposed to say that you made it - even if you have effectively just boiled the water and thrown in some sauce?
Anyway, it was delicious - tried a new brand at City Super - chicken and garlic.
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