Success of expats with Japanese women

Can anybody tell me about experiences of caucasian men trying to make relationships work with a Japanese woman (in Japan), for more middle aged people? Is there a high degree of failure or success?

Go to Japan and live with her In Japan..you will find out...

That is really strange question...


PS i lived in Japan before.. my big advise... is LEARN JAPANESE first and know what you want from her.

SOME men I know who dated Japanese women in Japan had horrible experiences. Some had good ones. It depended a lot on the girl. The ones that were good were usually with Japanese girl who had traveled, were educated and slightly more independant. Some girls, as is the case with ANY race, were complete nutters.


And yes, I agree. LEARN JAPANESE before you go there.

Thanks Tia and pro4u, you got what I meant right, even though I asked badly. I fell in love with a Japanese girl (she had to return), and am really unsure about going there. People that try to make this type of change (at age) sounds like it is maybe extremely risky. I'm probably on the wrong forum anyway, and now feel really embarressed. After manicairs response, I think I'll leave the forum outright.

no need to leave the forum.


Going to Japan, or anywhere for that matter can be a difficult choice and the older you are the harder it gets.


Does this girl feel the same way? Is there any hesitation? She will have to introduce you to her family etc. some people can be harsh in ANY country.....


Yes, learn Japanese and learn about the culture her family etc. But is sounds like you are halfway there because to be willing to move countries for one probably attests to the possibility that you would be willing to go that necessary step further.

As I mentioned on another thread about my friends. He's from the US and has been living happily for years now with his japanese wife. The wife spoke just a little English when they first met but he made up his mind to stay with her there in Japan, so he started picking up his Japanese.


I heard from my friends who's lived there for a while that the reason why Japanese women stick to western guys mainly because japanese men are not family oriented and they don't care much of their wives like other asians and western guys. Please correct me if the info I've got is not true. I've been to Japan several times but on short business trips, so I've no concrete comments on that.

just to elaborate on something wildorchid mentioned about japanese women preferring western men: i know that the japanese expat wives that i've met here in manila absolutely love it here, and are bereft when they leave. not only do they have the largest, nicest houses and apartments they might ever have in their entire lives (i.e. vs the pods that they have to cram into back in tokyo and other cities), but locals and other foreigners treat them with deference and respect. everyone from their drivers and club staff and waiters, to their children's teachers and local/foreign friends' husbands - there is a gallantry and chivalry which these ladies appreciate receiving, which perhaps might be missing from their own relationships.


this is not just what i have observed, but what i have been told by japanese and korean wives. (one of my korean girlfriends refused to leave manila when her husband was transferred to hk! so he commutes during the week - even HE understands why she doesn't want to leave. but that's another thread.)


DavidED, in any case you might have a real chance at success with your beloved, if not with her entire family/community. best of luck. hope you haven't left the forum - let us know what you decided?