What does she think?

I have been seeing a local lady for some 4 or 5 months now, we see each other once a week or sometimes more often and would speak on the phone at least once a day and when going to bed. Everything seems fine, we have great times together, good outings etc...not much intimacy as yet.


She has met most of my freinds, knows much about my family and the like. As yet I haven't met any of her friends or even know their names, or met her family (but the family thing is normal enough).


All of the time there is an implication of exclusive relationship, but this has not been ever discussed. Everything is going along fine and it feels like (to me) we are getting closer (would rather it this way as I am taking our freindship quite serioulsy I guess), however am not sure how to really test the water as it were to find out what she is really thinking/looking for.


I don't want to say,


"where do you see this leading" or "this is an exclusive relationship right, you aren't seeing anyone else are you?"


but need some sort of indication/reassurance that she sees it going somewhere worthwhile (potentially full time so to speak, without sounding obsessive or too pushy, which I am not as I am a little commitment phobic in some ways) and is as committed as myself...


.....what to say without sounding weird or something?

After four or five months, just do it. Tell her you want to take your relationship to the next level: intimacy and exclusivity. Ask her to stay the night with you. If she doesn't respond well to that, then she's either not serious, or she's the one who's weird.

Thank you Poor man, daTenshi and Justin Cred in particular,


(c) I guess is really what I don't want to hear - Barry is a dead man! :)


perhaps now I really feel more for her ( and have admitted it to myself!) I am being a bit chicken and insecure - I don't have any reason to think (c), perhaps I am scared of losing her.


I have lost nice girlfriends before by not really letting them know how I felt, or denied feeling that way to myself subconsiously so as to avoid being hurt or placing myself in a vulnerable state (not a control freak, more of a stability freak if such exists) - fear of rejection actually probably ultimately caused rejection.


Now, a little wiser have to let go of that fear - would be so much easier if I didn't feel so strongly towards her.


I guess it is time to take the plunge, although if say I am a month more advanced than she, I think you know what I mean, I don't want her to think I've gone all clucky or weird, ....or maybe I have already now.....damn!

thanks again for all your comments and suggestions.


I like the table idea he he.


Easter weekend away...would be very nice, but again with that the exposure of feelings has to be dealt with.


I think I will do it very soon (have tried to lots of times in the last few weeks but frozen up!), this feels weird, can hardly concentrate on anything at work - hopefully the same things are going on in her mind too J-C, if not well that is how it is, I suppose....

Thanks again to those kind comments and suggestions. This has really been helpful and much appreciated!

Uh huh jambarbie, did not need to really have to ask, just naturally unfolded without any difficult moment.


The difficult moment though was, I must say, was to let go and admit to one's self you really want that other person and feel so strongly about them, and feel so vulnerable for disappointment at the same time - quite scary indeed but well worth it!