I am feeling painful every minute because of him



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by cutedoll 16 yrs ago
till now, I had 1 more year relationship with him. He is a married man. His wife is in her home country, not living with him. I am single. We both work for good companies. I know I made a mistake falling in love with him, but at the begining he told me he was in divorce, and I thought I was not breaking someone's family and committing a sin.

one year ago, he was so sweet and caring. But now I feel he is so cold and far away from me. He forbade me to call his cell and sms him in July last year. Only email and office phone call is allowed. I followed his request. He had many business trips. So now I can only see him at most once a month.

At night I miss him so much, sometimes i call his cell, but he never answer the call and send me emails twice asking me not to call his cell.

When I ask him, do you love me. he said, I love you. But now i can not feel his love.

I am that kind of person once i gave my heart to the man, i want to be with him forever, if not i really prefer to die. Now i feel i am waiting for death every day and night.

I dont know what to do, just feeling painful and so bad. I dont understand why things now changed into so bad a situation. I'd rather he tell me directly asking me to leave him and give up. Then i can assure myself my lover doesnt love me, maybe i can cure my passion and not feeling that painful someday.


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COMMENTS
blobby 16 yrs ago
Wow, he really has done a number on you. Now, I really think you need to look at what you wrote about your relationship and pretend someone else wrote it... what would you think then? That this is not a relationship that anyone should want to be in and that it needs to end.


Clearly it is going to be tough for you, but try and move on. Delete his number and email addresses and go out with friends, keep busy and DON'T contact him. I'm guessing you'll probably not hear from him again.


You are wasting your time, why not find someone who wants to spend as much time with you as you do with them?


Best of luck

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Sapphire 16 yrs ago
You feel bad right now which is understandable if, as you say, you have grown to love this man. However, put yourself in the position of his wife, possibly the mother to his children, and think how bad you would feel then if you found out that the man you loved and who you were married to, who's children you had given birth to, had done what he had done, ie. had an affair with you. How much worse do you think she would feel? Granted, you say he originally told you that he was divorced, and I guess you had no reason not to believe him. But once you found out that he had a wife, why didn't you end the relationship? The fact is that he is nothing more than a liar and a cheat. He lied to you from the beginning ... why do you think he did that? Is that the kind of relationship you want ... one that's based on lies? The fact that he's telling you not to call him, and he is cold towards you, and you are only seeing him once a month, says it all really doesn't it ... he's no longer into you. You were probably just a bit on the side whilst his wife wasn't around ... maybe she's back on the scene, or she suspects something's going on ... or maybe he's simply found someone else to play around with. Either way, you're wasting your time. Sorry to sound so harsh. Put it down to experience and find yourself an un-married man who you can have all to yourself.

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FKKC 16 yrs ago
O.P. Sapphire has covered all grounds in regards to your 'story'. Her detailed explanations & descriptions are so correctly put. Read carefully and start your life again.

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hellokittyhk 16 yrs ago
Sapphire is right.


You say you love this man, but have a think about all the qualities that you don't love:

- he is a cheater and liar

- he tells you not to call him

- he is cold towards you


there are probably lots more when you think about it. Apart from the fact that this man is already married, he is not for you! Don't waste a second more of your life thinking about this man - you say he tells you he loves you: but his actions speak much louder than his words.


For some reason, people think that because they are told they are loved, it excuses all other behaviour, even when it is deplorable.


I mean: if this guy treats you like this, has so many conditions on your relationship (which reeks of his still married status), but tells you he DOESN'T love you - would you stick around??? No, probably not. Yet because he has said those magic words, you think it to be true.


Look beyond those words to his actions, and free yourself of this situation.


Surround yourself with your friends and try to take some pleasure in your life again - it will get better if you let it.


Good luck

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byechicago 16 yrs ago
How do you think his wife felt when she found out he was with someone else? Hurt and alone like you are feeling. He is most likely cheating on you with someone else. I'd like to say I feel sorry for you, but I don't, you've done it to yourself, now move on.

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ODS 16 yrs ago
Going out with a married men is wrong at the first place. NEVER trust a man saying he IS GOING TO DIVORCE. this is the way to cheat ignorance women for free shag.

No matter how 'nice' he seems, you should able to control yourself not to go out with him. BEFORE they ACTUALLY divorced, you shouldn't have sex with him. otherwise you are helping him to cheat on his wife. and poor wife having few kids at home while husband having 'fun' in asia...


totally agree with the 3rd reply of "Sapphire".

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betrice 16 yrs ago
i just simply don`t understand why women will get themselves into a situation like this...

forget about him and move on!!! for god sake he is married!!! and obviously has no intension to get a divorce in the forseeing future.

i don`t mean to be mean, but, have some self respect and wake up!

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betrice 16 yrs ago
i just simply don`t understand why women will get themselves into a situation like this...

forget about him and move on!!! for god sake he is married!!! and obviously has no intension to get a divorce in the forseeing future.

i don`t mean to be mean, but, have some self respect and wake up!

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betrice 16 yrs ago
ops, sorry, i had no idea why it appears several time...


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