Posted by
klimt
18 yrs ago
i am a local chinese gal in mid 20's. i just wanna know what i can do to make the caucasian guy in love with me more easily?
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klimt
18 yrs ago
Aijin
i see what u mean...i didnt pretend to be the type of gal they like.....
do u think if they adore me, i dunt really have to do "sonething" to make them fall in love?
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A4XGR - not sure if I can agree with you, as far as my experience goes, meeting a white guy in HK is a piece of cake, sometimes it's painfully easy. As someone who's physically attracted to Asian guys, it's much harder to get their attention.
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shaq
18 yrs ago
Local girls and their addiction to Caucasians ...... they luvvvvvvvvv them.
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I agree...
Does he have to be Caucasian?
Can he not be a "Stealth Foreigner"? LOL
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lulu
18 yrs ago
this question should rephrase "how to win mark six in Hom\ng kong?"
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klimt
18 yrs ago
hi guys
thx for the reply!
may be i should explain more abt my situation to advoid confusion.
yes..i confess that caucasian man is attractive...but i am not "addicted" to them..
i don't mind my bf is a caucasian or local...if 2 of us can communicate well and share some interests!
i think i am ordinary but not a very local type gal as i really into music, movie and art..i have my own style..however it's quite hard for me to find a local man with similar mindset (may be i am not their cup of tea)..meanwhile a caucasian guy show up and it seems that he is the one i am looking for....i dunt wanna lose the chance although it may be a slim one...
so...i just wanna know how caucasian guy thinks..
btw...i don't think there is any problem for a local gal to be addicted to caucasian man as lots of caucasian guys are addicted to chinese gals too! is there any problem?
if u think local gals shouldn't addict to caucasian guys...does it mean u think caucasian are more superior??? i wonder......
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pathetic...you certainly do not stand a chance with an opening comment like that, try the desperate section
from a caucasian....male that is!
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From the question that you asked, we're not talking love anyway. Maybe lust, fascination or many other words. When you request caucasion, blonde, tall, whatever physical characteristic, we're not talking love. The same applies to Asian guys into white women, white men into Asian women etc. You're not gonna find someone to give you love since you are not giving them love.
As for lust and sex, shouldn't be that hard to find a white guy willing to have sex with you if you are halfway decent looking.
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klimt
18 yrs ago
can u guys try to understand more abt my situation instead of criticizing me or the question?
first..i am not asking lust and sex...i am willing to give love
second..i don't mean i am sperior to local guys, i dunt mind to have a local bf...
i am just asking for help here...
ok...may be i should give up....a local gal doesnt deserve a caucasian guy....i have to remember..
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klimt...
Why do you always stress on "caucasian guy"?
Why can't you just say "GUY"?
When you say "caucasian guy" everyone jumps on you because you are stressing outside and not the whole package...
No race/skin colour is better than another...except for ME (nicely tanned....hahah! J/K)
Anyways...it's not wrong to be attracted to different Nationalities since "opposites attract"
I have dated Asian and Caucasian...in the end...people are people...it's just a matter who you click with...
Gambatte! <---- Loosely translated as good luck
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people are all same even they have different skin, whatever he from think about not all western guys are better than asians..... it depense to a personality.. asian woman just attracted to a white skin western guys, but human is human. white, black yellow, is just skin. find a person who have real heart not the skin
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I'm with itchyfeet2006 on this one.
Klimit is interested in A Caucasian guy and simply asking for advice on how to get his attention. This could be the very first Caucasian she likes and so she has no clues as to what Caucasian guys are looking for in a relationship. She did put it in a misleading tone by saying "how to make a Caucasian guy fall in love with me" instead of "how to make HIM fall in love with me". It's not about "I like Caucasians more" or "Asian guys aren't worthy of me" that kind of attitude, I don't think.
What Klimit is missing is that people are just people, regardless of race. What a person wants or likes in a partner is absolutely individual preferences.You have to get to know that person moer to find out. If you click, you click. If not, it doesn't mean you're not good enough or anything. It only means it's not meant to be. Also you can't MAKE a person fall in love with you. You can try hard to let him understand who you are. That's it.
All and all, Klimit is only trying to ask for help here. But really, this is a question no one can answer but yourself, Klimit.
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Hi I'm British Born chinese, and have been out with many white guys, seriously Klimt, not all white guys understands music, art etc, a lot of them just like drinking, wander around all day doing nothing (too hung-over) etc..
And white guys in HK could be worse (sorry guys), these perpetual expat guys just want to have fun when they're away from home and might not be interested in bringing home an asian lady who can't fit in. (unless you want to go for older white guys who hang out in wanchai bars...)
Am now dating a chinese guy, althought he's not as well built as white guys, but he's sweet and caring and most importantly he's serious about our relationship.
Guys out there before you attack me, I just want to say this is all based on my personal experience and it doesn't apply to all white guys, obviously.
Good luck Klimt!
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ador
18 yrs ago
right, I agree with Eleveld.
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klimt
Would help if you weren't so local
At least being an ABC or CBC girl would help
Most Western guys prefer someone that they can share their life with and communicate with on a deeper level
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Well said, rouge. I agree with you.
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rouge,
you seemed an experienced one with this situation. Am i right(just curious,ha ha ha)?
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Posted by aspect (44 mins ago)
[ Quote ]
didn't read the whole thread.
most local gals who went out with gweilo here has this similar character:
at late 20's or 30+
dress less, more sexy.
sun tan.
not quite attractive accord with local standard.
hope that answer the thread starter question.
does it sound rude?????
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Honkie
Not it doesn't sound rude
That's exactly what I've observed most of the time
I'm a Canadian born Chinese girl and have dated western guys. Not really due to race but compatibility. I would have preferred to date guys that were also overseas Chinese but there aren't so many in HK vs the US or Canada
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janniehk
nah u didn't get it
"most local gals who went out with gweilo here has this similar character:
at late 20's or 30+
dress less, more sexy.
sun tan.
not quite attractive accord with local standard."
what she perceived sounds an unpleasant statement
as if the local girls who go out with gweilos are leftovers among the chinese guys?????
if so...i might be one of them!
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Yes I've sense a lot of resentment from local guys on local women dating western guys
Doesn't really apply to me b/c I'm CBC
I guess they think that bc your local there isn't so much reason for you to date western guys except to improve your standard of living
People can be very judgemental so its hard
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seriously the gweilos live in hk mostly are well-off only...not very very rich
i had no idea that why do people always think the local girls go out with them just becoz for improving the standard of living?!
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Rouge, You missed the point! I dont think I"m "better" than the local girls dating western guys in HK but it definitely is more natural for me to than the local girls since there aren't any cultural or langauge issues.
Honkie
I think that you get all types of people around
Girls who want to improve their standard of living or ones who just tend to fall in love with a guy that happens to be Western.
A well off gweilo is still very attractive to local women that only have modest career and earning prospects. There's still a relatively large income gap in HK vs N America
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This thread is getting interesting!
On itchy feet's comment on local gals not wanting to date PRC guys. Actually I can envision this changing
over time. I already there is a growing number of very successful, well educated overseas PRC guys appearing on the social scene. The US ivy leagues schools like Harvard and Stanford have a large proportion of Asian (incl Chinese) students!
So the PRC is evolving quickly and can't be just thought of as the crude farmer .
In fact, I personally have very successful, well educated guy friends who are originally from China but seem to prefer dating European women! I sense that they fancy the having an attractive blond European trophy girlfriend or wife
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Hi Raincatcher
No Chinese aren't the only ones to have ethnic or racial preferences for a partner
Actually many ethnic groups do as well.
Its still quite rare to still to see black and white marriages in America.
Personally I've seen more interractial marriages in HK than in the US!
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Yes more mixed race marriages these days then say 20 years ago but there's still some taboo surrounding it. Some people are more open minded towards this but many aren't.I remm eber being in college which was only a couple of years ago and amongst my white girlfriends there was a big issue with them dating black or hispanic guys. If they did, often they hid if from their families.
For instance, when the entertainment airs a black and white couple often there's quite a lot of controversy. Did you ever see the Superbowl commercial with Nicolette Sheridan and a football player?
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Hi Aspect, Overseas educated mainlander guys preference for western and overseas chinese women may have a lot to do with the generally dreadful education system in HK. The focus on rote memorization, lack of a good athletic program and abosultely no nuturing of creative abilities is really to blame.
I believe team sports really contribute to a person's socialization and ability to relate to others.
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Chat noir
Yes oversears Chinese guys have married PRC women
But I wouldn't say is really common
Actually I've seen cases where this has happened the marriage faced big issues. The girl being brought to the West often had a hard time since she didnt fit in and lacked a support network and often marketable skills to build a career there
Some of these guys face real family pressure by having a Chinese wife but many have not fully realized the big cultural and often language gap that exists. I remember growing up and seeing some of the guys from our community going back to their family village in Toishan to find a wife. It wasn't common but did happen
Some guys understand the issues that they would face marrying a PRC girl and can live with it but others just can't
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Rouge, I dont' think you can say that the Chinese girls who marry western or overseas chinese guys as "not worthy".
But from what I've seen of the people that I know, one definitely has to consider the issues facing a inter racial or cross cultural relationship. I know a number of couples that are not in happy situations and it seems like they didn't fully consider these issues before marrying.
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Chat Noir
In some ways I agree with you
I would prefer my own kids to spent their early years in Asia...preferrably Taiwan which is still in many respects retains traditional Chinese culture
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Hi Klimt, I believe if both people right to each other, you no need especially to do something and make him fall in love with you. You're still very young and try to take it easy on it.
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Meems
18 yrs ago
"a local gal doesnt deserve a caucasian guy"
Hey Klimt, The above sentence you wrote is degrading! why are you putting yourself so low.
We are all human and just as good as each other.
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okay, Sweetie, I hope I am now giving you something more practical, here are my advice gained from dating with expats:
Don't look too pale, enjoy your time under the time
Be sexy, doesn't mean dressing less, but to have your own style, have some make-up on your pretty face, wear appropriate accessories, if you don't trust your taste, go to ask someone who can dress
Give him a good time on bed, this is important, maybe a night out with him is a good start for great sex
Don't be too pushy, we ain't kids, give him some personal space
Besides these, think twice before you seriously fall in love with him, find out what's he is looking for, some expats are looking for pure sex, utimately they will choose their own people as lifetime partner.
Apologies if I have made any offence.
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have dated locals myself, i just spotted out the difference, must admit i have to do something extra to keep my expats, competition is huge out there, nif, have you dated a local before? If you do, you should be able to see the difference
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silly ga, just be yourself and embrace who and what you are, forget about music, art life style.......blabla. If he loves you, excellent, if not, move on, you don't have to do anything to MAKE him fall in love with you, he will come to you.
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Klimet Im going to answer your question for you very directly.
1) Dont fall in love with him first. It will make you seem weak and naive, and he may take advantage of that. When your in love your not thinking very well.
2) understand that he probabley makes a lot more money then you do. A such you can not be equal partners if you start expecting him to pay for everything. You need to show your independence and that you bring some material resource to the relationship. Usualy this is your language ability. You need to show him that you are capable of cummunicateing with him and that you can translate and interpret. If your at a restraunt and you can read the menue and order and he pays then you have some equality in the relationship. Finally, if you cant have a conversation with the guy then hes going to start thinking "Ok when do we go to the bedrooma nd have sex" You cant have a relationship and go to dinner and say nothing or watch a movie or DVD and then not be able to talk about it. This is why chinease girls that are english teachers tend to end up with foreign boyfriends/husbands.
3) This one is so easy but loot attractive. Dont dress like a prostitute but look attractive, nice clothes (little bit of clevage) high heels, make up and nice hair. You want to keep the guy thinking about what the rest of you will look like naked, and what you would look like a lace bra and panties. Mystery has fueled many many repeat dates.
4) I know your interested in Music and Art and everything but you need to be interested in HIS taste in music and art. So you like classical but he likes R&B. thats not going to work maybe later in the relationship find, but you have to find common intrests that you can talk about or at least fake showing intrest in. Make sure you have more then one thing in common. One thing thats easy is China, he obviusley likes it here and your an expert because your from here. Thats a good start.
5) Be mature. He is probabley more educated, cultured and has a better job then you and by definition has to have a sense of adventure (he did come to china after all). Where you can make up for in all these areas is acting mature. Dont use I Love You too fast or too soon. Dont lie. If you dont want to say something say its complicated or its private. Or just kiss him and cange the subject, But dont lie. Many white men are very cautiouse of local woman because of the horror stories they have heard. Dont put him in the position of having to think your one of those woman.
6) Spend time with him. good quality time leaves a white guy with a very happy and favorable impression. Men like being happy. But dont make yourself available to him at anytime. keep him wanting more. He will be more appreiciative of your time and WANT to spend more time with you if you make yourself a unavailable. Let me give you an example. Im america I take water for granted and never drink plain water, because drinking water is available everywhere. Here in China I drink a lot of water because I just cant use a water fountain or turn on a tap anytime I want.
Lastly, If you ultimatly are looking for a husband and marrige dont say anything til after several dates. The reason why is there are three type of men A) Those that WANT to get married, B) Those that DONT WANT to get married, and C) Those that will get married. Want isnt good enough if you are looking for a husband.
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Here is another idiotic list from a book called "The Rules". Might be handy for those looking for a particular type of man ($$$$$$$$)
1. Be a creature like no other
2.Show up to parties, dances and social evemys even when you don't feel like it
3. It is a fantasy relationship unless a man asks you out
4.In an office relationship do not email him back everytime he emails you unless it is business related
5. If it is a long distance relationship he must visit you at least three times before you visit him
6. When considering whether to use personal ads or other dating services, you should place the ad and let men respond to you
7. If he doesn't call you he isn't that interested. Period.
8. Close the deal - Rules women do not date for more than two years
9. Buyer beware - observe his behaviour so you do not end up with Mr Wrong
10. Keep doing the Rules - even when things are slow - Take care of yourself, take a bubble bath and build up your soul with positive slogans like "I am a beautiful woman. I am enough."
For further explanations: http://www.therulesbook.com/
or perhaps you would like to have an online consultation with the authors for $US 200
Pleeeeaaassseee!
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I understand the view in both sides, considering I'm eurasian and having to grow up half of my life in the west,and half in asia. But the only thing i don't really get is why does it matter what race a person is. I went had relationships with both and,yes they are different and both have their good and bad.My partner now is acaucasian but it's got nothing to do with preferances.I just happened to have met a guy that appreciates humour doesn't bore me,and have a lot in common with me.
The only thing i can say if i'm being honest is, be with someone not just because your up for a change, but be with someone because you can relate to them,talk to them,and be really friends with them aside from being their partner,coz after all when the physical thing has past your friendship will be the strongest thing both of you can always hold on to.
I hope you don't make the mistakes alot of asian girls do. I.E. Going for the guy,and for all the wrong reasons.
Good luck!
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